Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's All Very November-ish Around Here

By that I mean, damp, dark, cold and generally not what a donkey looks for in ideal weather. The woman says I'm prone to seasonal affective disorder and should use Jack as a role model, since he has so many more autumns under his belt, so to speak. Jack is his usual cheerful self and tells me I'm a product of this "modren" age and gives broad hints that I am a tad "soft". I suppose someone as ancient as he has earned the right to hold strong opinions, but I have trouble believing he spent his youth in an igloo.

The cat holds the same opinion as myself, but at least she gets to hold it in the warmth and comfort of the house. She made a trip to the barn this morning, labouriously trying to avoid the wet spots but she arrived at the run-in with her undercarriage soaked right through. She was furious, and made a long, angry speech which we didn't understand fully but the gist is that she is taking this weather as a personal affront and wants something done about it. Then she stalked back to the house, leaving us more convinced than ever that she is one of those mad aristocrats one hears about. I'd even say barking mad, if she weren't a cat.

The woman found all this very amusing. I just carried on with looking glum - I've got it down to a fine art. To cheer me up she said we should start thinking about what we want for the festive season. She knows what I want. A waistcoat, a watch and chain and a first edition of "The Great Philosophers" - one printed on very old paper that tastes like bran mash. It should be bound in leather, which is also an excellent snacking material (I've sampled many halters through the years). Will I receive those items? No. I will receive the usual equine snacks and probably a new brush. Sigh. Jack only wants one thing - a new set of teeth - but this time he would like them in blue or green so they can be easily found if they pop out. I told him not to get his hopes up.

By sticking my head through the fence I have managed to amass an enormous collection of burrs all the way back to my shoulders. I do this every day so the woman will spend as much time as possible removing them. I think it's good for her fine motor skills.


Dougie Donk said...

One of our felines has taken up temporary residence in our stable complex. He appears to belive that the small rodents hiding from the cold under our shavings beds are fair game for elevenses and afternoon tea.

Watching his idea of sport has made me disinclined to share living accomodation with anyone who is not an equid. Only we have proper stable manners!

billie said...

I love the new dog jacket!

Our felines mostly hang out and nap all day inside, but the two cowboys spend a lot of time in the barn and in the fields with horses and donkeys.

A couple of nights ago it was raining out and at least three of the cats were sitting on the fence in the rain. Not sure what was up with that! Two of ours love water, though, so I guess they were just meditating. :)

Sheaffer, I hope you get your holiday wishes. How wonderful it would be to see you dressed up in your holiday wear!

We have quite the excitement here today. A huge cement mixer on one side of us and a very scary tree limb trimmer (long white arm that reaches to the treetops, whacking and shrieking) on the other. The donkeys at one point could literally not decide which to look at - so they ran back and forth in a frenzy.

Anonymous said...

Drip drip drip
Life up here is not much better. We have had several days of wet snow, sleet, snert and, yes Dougie, even Scottish mist. There is six inches of soggy stuff on the ground and it is impossible for donkeys to get about without being soaked. In sharp and cruel contrast, her highness has shoes with studs and pads to elevate her above the mess, and has a collection of horsewear that would make Imalda Marcos sob in envy. The fat lady ploddingly sorts through the collection every morning, looking for the perfect combination of water repellency, comfort and loft (not too warm, not too thin)to ensure that the brown goddess doesn't take a chill. She even switches to wool stable blankets at night if the outdoor blankets are damp.

This is a travesty! Fred and I are more than damp; we may even be moulding, but does she care? Not a whit. We are doing our best to grow fur and take shelter in the barn at every opportunity but - as you know - there is no shortage of castigation should we upset a wheelbarrow, poop a little or pull down the halters in our suffering.

Even the avian inmates have it better than us - as soon as the snow arrived, they lined up at their door and deigned to put so much as one scaly claw on the white stuff. They have retired to the coop for the winter with their new heated water bucket, happy beneath a HEAT LAMP and on two feet of shavings, muttering about eggs, economics and opportunities to raid the bird feeders. With their red combs and fluffy black or brown coats they are clearly all dressed up with nowhere to go.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, like the Hobbits I am strongly in favour of a first and second breakfast. However, I must agree with you that cats have bizarre ideas as to what constitutes food. They're happiest when the food has been caught and eaten while it still has a pulse. I prefer my food inanimate.

billie, I've been thinking about why your cats would sit out in the rain and frankly cannot fathom why they would do that. Of course cats take great delight in being unfathomable. How I wish I were there with Team R&R to watch the motorized activity. That's the sort of thing that just makes a donkey's day.

Ginger, I'm afraid the answer is obvious. You must run away from home (such as it is) and find a locale where they will indulge you and Fred properly. When even the chicken ladies are receiving preferential treatment, the writing is on the wall. Next thing she'll have you pulling the snow removal device up and down the driveway. By the way, she has a new porch attathed to her dwelling - it would make an excellent donkey abode.