Saturday, August 20, 2011

It's True - Good Help is Hard To Find

I must apologize for my prolonged absence, which is in fact no fault of mine but of the sub-standard level of "help" available to me. These days, whenever I way lay the Woman and announce that I have something to say, she replies "not now, Sheaffer, I have to mow the grass, weed the garden, run off to some lawn fete, visit with friends, do some "real" writing, harrow the sandy ring etc. etc. ad infinitum. One of these days (maybe after grass season) I will squeeze through the fence and simply disappear. I wonder how long it will take her to notice I'm gone. No doubt until she needs someone to blame for every little misunderstanding ( how was I to know her unattractive riding helmet wasn't a food bowl when I accidentally dribbled some puddle water in it?).

Molly's ankle seems much improved and they went off to the forest the other day and no doubt made tremendous nuisances of themselves. Molly came back very smug and bragged about the legions of admirers she met, her wallow in the pond and the rare vegetation she inhaled. So far her slimming powder has made no difference whatsoever but she inhales that as well. It's all grist to her mill.

Chester continues to "renovate" the place on an ongoing basis. He remains remarkably cheerful about any damage he inflicts on himself in the process. Yesterday he grabbed the handle of a cleaning implement, misjudged the weight, and whacked himself smartly on the side of the head. It bothered him not one whit. He went on to immediately become entangled in a long strip of fly paper, wash both front feet in the water trough and purloin a cannister of fly spray, which very nearly exploded in his face when he squeezed it. His favourite word is "cool!". I find the younger generation quite alarming.

The days are growing noticeably shorter and as a result my new winter coat is growing noticeably longer. One can't be too careful. The worst is yet to come.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Criminal Activity

I want to assure my readers that I was in no way involved with any of the following shady goings-on. My record remains unblemished but the same cannot be said for the young Haflinger element around here. The swath of destruction continues to expand daily.

Although it makes him equal parts sticky and smelly, the heat has not affected Chester's energy level in the least. When the woman foolishly decided to change our routine so we were outside during the night time, Chester's energy level expanded even further. He spent the first night galloping around, snorting and splattering the barn with mud. The second night he spent digging under the trees - unearthing buried treasure he calls it - and the third night he outdid himself and tore the door off the run-in. I have included photographic evidence. After three nights we were switched back to our usual routine.

Molly's ankle is much better but still has a bit of a stammer when she trots, so she is not going to the trail riding get-together next week at my friend Smokey's establishment. She is furious. I know that somehow I will pay for this. Wait until she finds out she has to go on some sort of slimming drug meant for thyroid cases. Her test results are at the low end of normal and the vet has decided to help her along with a weight loss stimulator. This does not bode well.

I continue to pursue a balanced approach to the growing/shedding of winter hair. I always err on the side of caution - I do not, as some suggest, look like a balding buffalo lap robe. I include a photo of self so you can see exactly what I mean.