Saturday, August 20, 2011

It's True - Good Help is Hard To Find

I must apologize for my prolonged absence, which is in fact no fault of mine but of the sub-standard level of "help" available to me. These days, whenever I way lay the Woman and announce that I have something to say, she replies "not now, Sheaffer, I have to mow the grass, weed the garden, run off to some lawn fete, visit with friends, do some "real" writing, harrow the sandy ring etc. etc. ad infinitum. One of these days (maybe after grass season) I will squeeze through the fence and simply disappear. I wonder how long it will take her to notice I'm gone. No doubt until she needs someone to blame for every little misunderstanding ( how was I to know her unattractive riding helmet wasn't a food bowl when I accidentally dribbled some puddle water in it?).

Molly's ankle seems much improved and they went off to the forest the other day and no doubt made tremendous nuisances of themselves. Molly came back very smug and bragged about the legions of admirers she met, her wallow in the pond and the rare vegetation she inhaled. So far her slimming powder has made no difference whatsoever but she inhales that as well. It's all grist to her mill.

Chester continues to "renovate" the place on an ongoing basis. He remains remarkably cheerful about any damage he inflicts on himself in the process. Yesterday he grabbed the handle of a cleaning implement, misjudged the weight, and whacked himself smartly on the side of the head. It bothered him not one whit. He went on to immediately become entangled in a long strip of fly paper, wash both front feet in the water trough and purloin a cannister of fly spray, which very nearly exploded in his face when he squeezed it. His favourite word is "cool!". I find the younger generation quite alarming.

The days are growing noticeably shorter and as a result my new winter coat is growing noticeably longer. One can't be too careful. The worst is yet to come.

20 comments:

billie said...

Sheaffer, this must be the season of donkey discontent. Rafer Johnson has been in a perfectly foul mood this week. Both he and Redford are growing in winter coats and both are eating as if they are bears packing on the pounds to get them through the winter.

I hope The Woman creates more time for you and your wonderful missives. I have missed them and will be glad when she finally breaks down and hires you the personal assistant you obviously need!!

Susan said...

Camryn here: I feel bad that your feeling neglected. You're very welcome to come stay with me. You do have to like dogs though. I have my own and kind of like the little guy. Missed reading your posts very much, glad your back.
Your Chester and his mishaps crack me up. I should hook him up with Farrah the Haflinger girl I camped with this weekend. Somehow the silly blonde ended up untied and in a dry creek bed awaiting human assistance! She got it and is fine.

ponymaid said...

billie - you have understood completely - now is the hour of our discontent. All this fuss about horses and hardly any donkey attention. Shameful and possibly even illegal. I have so much to say and such meagre resources at hoof...Please send Rafer my regards and tell him we suffer in unison.

ponymaid said...

Camryn - I quite like our dog Penny so I am sure yours would be equally admirable. I don't care so much for coyotes - their bad manners and insolent air irk me no end. I am not surprised that your Haflinger friend Farrah should end up in a creek bed, stranded but unworried. Knowing Haflingers as I do, she may have been the one who emptied the creek. Chester would certainly have done so and caused some natural disaster to boot.

Gazelle said...

Dear Sheafer,
It's nice that you have the companionship of Chester and his juvenile antics to amuse you, but I miss Doc. Any news on how he's doing these days ?

ponymaid said...

gazelle -Doc is doing wonderfully well in his new career helping disabled children. He has truly found his calling. I hope to post pictures soon. Herself is beetling off - again - so I am once more left mute until her return.

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,
I know you are feeling neglected and ignored but soon the winter weather will curtail your woman's wanderings and she will be at home more often and ready to listen to your stories. Until then, just concentrate on eating to keep up your strength for the cold weather to come.

The flies here have been terrible this year so we have been coming into the main barn during the day to get some relief. It is wonderful - we don't have to walk to eat. Our hay just magically appears in front of us. I fear now that the cooler weather is here we will be back to our old routine of being outside all the time and having to walk great distances for our hay. Our Girl Friday comes to visit us twice a week so even if our human is off gallivanting around the countryside we never feel neglected.

Just be patient Sheaffer your woman will soon realizre that her place is at your side.

Your fan,

Willy

Gazelle said...

Hay Sheaff,
Did you know PrimRose is having a big birthday bash tomorrow(Sun. Aug 28th)? You goin ?

Read all about it on her blog:

http://primrosedonkeysanctuary.webs.com/apps/blog/

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - mom and me are just laughing about Chester and his antics!!! COOL!

Your fren,

dogma said...

Oh Sheaffer,
How we miss your wit and wisdom! If only evolutionmoved faster we too could have opposable thumbs. Just think of what we could accomplish!!

ponymaid said...

gazelle - I am told nothing around here, nothing. I would certainly have attended, wearing my Scottish firefighter's hat.

ponymaid said...

Buddy - I will have Chester updates for you soon.

ponymaid said...

dogma - imagine if we ruled the world...there would be none of lallygagging about, waiting for my typist to show up.

billie said...

I've just put up a little surprise for Sheaffer, Molly, Chester, and... Buddy!! over at camera-obscura. :)

Buddy said...

OMG I was in love every two seconds - what beautiful horses - of course Molly is most beautiful in my book!

Your fren,

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - are yu ok??? Yu haven't posted in a while.

Your fren,

billie said...

Buddy, glad you liked it! The Woman must be traveling and Sheaffer has no typist - we miss you, Sheaffer!!!

Buddy said...

Oh Billie - it was the highlight of my week! I will watch it again and again! Maybe I was a halfie in a previous life!

Your Fren,

billie said...

Buddy, maybe palominos and haflingers are related somehow - all that gorgeous golden hair!!

Buddy said...

Billie - we must be related - we are all so BEAUTIFUL! I saw one who was tossing her mane around - I fell instantly in love!

Your fren,