Saturday, July 4, 2009

A Sweet Surprise on a Sweltering Day

I think I mentioned a while back that my generously girthed friend CindyLouWho, a magnificent, grey edifice of a horse, sent me a surprise package to relieve the monotony of my days. Her mission was wildly successful and we four equines are now addicted to a wonderful food called Gummy Worms. Along with those came some of our favourite white mints and, a first for us, some pink mints that deliver a satisfyingly strong jolt.

I had been forewarned of the impending arrival of a surprise package and so was expecting the brown box on wheels that appeared in our driveway. A cheerful sort of male human said he had a package for Sheaffer - that's me - and all four of us crowded the fence to oversee the delivery. The driver complimented all of us on our shiny coats and friendly demeanor but instead of handing me the box, he entrusted it to Herself.

I began to stalk off in an offended manner but the woman said I could go into the barn with her and help to unwrap the parcel. I brightened up considerably. Jack and I went inside and the horses were left out, which is the proper state of affairs. With much fumbling of the hoofpick and general clumsiness, she finally got the box open. We gasped at the treasure within. A round container with colourful stringy things in it and a label that said: VERMIFUGE DEFENSE. There were instruction, too, and these said:



Utterly brilliant. as you can see. The plan came apart when she opened the lid, let us smell the contents and said "You can try some with your dinner". There is just no wresting control from the resident despot. She showed us the other two bags that were nestled in the box and they said "Canada Mints" and had a charming illustration of a group of donkeys underneath. How utterly civilized. She opened the bag of pink mints and passed them around. Molly inhaled hers, Doc made faces but ate his, Jack said nothankyouhe'dstickwiththewhiteones and I sniffed mine thoroughly and then slid it into my mouth. Like a fine old cheese or well-aged bottle of port, the taste built slowly, finishing in a blast of what I believe is called wintergreen. My eyes watered a bit and I sneezed a few times and the woman said I looked like an Archbishop taking snuff. It was all most satisfying.

She broke out the Gummy Worms with dinner, as promised, and they were a sensation. Molly inhaled hers like spaghetti, Doc spat his out and picked it up several times before finally deciding it wasn't dangerous, Jack refused to make eye contact with his and I snorted and retreated to the back of my stall. The woman put four of the gift worms in my bowl for me to examine at my leisure. I took my time but after touching one with the tip of my tongue, I proceeded to explore further. Texture: strangely slippery. Taste: fruity, with flowery undertones. Conclusion: excellent and now a staple in a well-balanced donkey diet.

Of course, these gift items - correction, MY gift items, are being doled out like the rarest truffles, in very small quantities and not frequently enough. Oh well, I suppose 'tis enough to fleetingly taste the foods of the gods.


Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - you gots worms? That just doesn't sound right - what about the wormers the woman is so crazy about. I don't know gummy worms - fruity did you say? Hmmmmm. Now Mints - I LOVE mints - will have to research these gummy worms. Mom gave me some plums today - they were quite tasty.

Was awful nice of Cindylouwho to send you this great package.

Take care my fren!

billie said...

Wow, Sheaffer, CindyLouWho really outdid herself! I never would have thought of gummy worms!

You all must have had a fine time with the treats, and more to come, thanks to the woman and her hoarding habit. (sometimes it's a good thing, you know!)

I have to tell you - we are having rain today. The geldings were so excited they were in the arena doing rain dancing this a.m. Salina and the donkeys were in the paddock watching - why make fools of oneselves when you have a bunch of geldings to do it for you?

ponymaid said...

Buddy, after careful deliberation I have given a two hoofs up to the Gummy Worms. Those pink mints are also worth a try - highly invigorating. Now, as to the plums, did you grow those yourself? They sound delicious. CindyLouWho is a true princess amongst horses.

Billie, I can assure you Doc would have been right in the middle of the gelding rain dance - did you get any pictures? We've had nothing but rain lately so we're very careful of our dance moves in case we provoke more dark clouds. It was so cool yesterday morning we could see our breath in the air - warmer today, thank heavens. As TJ would say "it's udderly bijiculous".

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,
As mentioned, in my earlier comments we had a Boarder/Donkey Appreciation BBQ last week. I am told one of the highlights of the day was dessert - DIRT CAKE which included large numbers of GUMMY WORMS mixed in - a hit with young and old. Of course, neither my mom or I were offered any. Now that our human has it on good authority that gummy worms are suitable for donkeys we just might be offered a few!!!! Maybe Uncle Ed might be tempted to smuggle in a few gummy worms just as a special treat.

My mom and I are just about nervous wrecks. We picked up news last week that something was happening on July 7 and we have still not been told what - the plot thickens. We have decided it must be a new arrival as the divider gates in the barn have all been painted, fresh bedding has been put in the pen next to ours and everything is being swept, cleaned and dusted.
Our worry is about what the new arrival will be. We have heard talk of elephants and llamas and with our human you just never know what will appear. The last arrival was a giant Dutch Warmblood who towered over us. It took us awhile to get him "in line" since he just didn't notice us as he plodded around pretending to be high and mighty. Now he does whatever my mom tells him with just a flick of her ear. The wait will be over tomorrow so if we survive the "excitemnt" I'll update you as soon as possible.

Your fan,


South Valley Girl said...

Well Sheaffer, I must say, I'm very disappointed that Herself won't allow you more than a few pitiful Gummy Worms in your already skimpy diet - doesn't she realize that you're on the brink of starvation most of the time? Surely she can see your poor little ribs sticking out, and your sunken cheeks...? I think she's taken the Tough Love thing just a little too far.

I'm holding out hope for you that they will stave off the evil vermifuge, though - an indignity no self-respecting donkey (not to mention vicar) should have to endure.

I think you're very brave.


ponymaid said...

Willy, a dirt cake, eh? Sounds quite intriguing - but you still haven't tasted the gourmet gummy worms? Tsk tsk. We're all very curious to hear what is put in the newly renovated suite next to you and your mum. Exciting but somewhat worrying. Humans are capable of such random "brain waves" that you never know what it might be. An anteater, possibly, or an aardvaark. And that's only the first letter of the alphabet. Keep us posted and let us know if you require assistance from your extended donkey clan. Oh, and please congratulate your mother on her cool and calculated handling of the gigantic newcomer - an ear flick is always an excellent first warning sign - hard to overlook in a donkey.

South Valley Girl - you have assessed the situation exactly. I am but mere hide and bones at this point but still she persists in keeping me on a prison diet. I find it odd that I haven't been surrendered to the PrimRose Sanctuary so they can restore me to a decent body weight. The woman refers to me as "King Cellulite" but she is obviously delusional.

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,
The wait is finally over. My mom and I were just beside ourselves yesterday when we were not put out as usual with the horses. Any change of routine around here is not a good sign. Finally a metal box on wheels rattled in the lane and backed up to the barn door. We were on the verge of hyperventilating when the door swung open. Inside were two lovely donkeys. My mom and I went weak at the knees with relief. Molly and Marble belong to the Donkey Sanctuary of Canada. They had to leave their foster home of ten years due to the ill health of their humans. Since the DSC is about at their limit they moved here rather than going to the sanctuary. The donkeys have been well loved and cared for so there are no abuse issues to deal with which I am sure is a relief to our human. She complimented the new girls on their slim and trim figures and looking directly at my mom and I, said "this is what you two are SUPPOSED to look like!!!!
I am sure I have more M&M stories as we get to know them better. Now with three girls and only one of me I just might become the King of the Harem.

I am still hoping Uncle Ed will smuggle in some gummy worms when he visits on Sunday.

Your fan,


ponymaid said...

Willy, I must apologize for my tardiness in responding. Actually, herself and the male human hied themselves off to the Nation's Capital and I was left without a writing medium. Honestly, I can't imagine that Edgar Allan Poe or Chaucer had these problems. I am extremely pleased to hear that you are building a harem. Every young donkey man should have a bevy of beauties to fill the landscape. All I have is Molly, who fills any landscape. They sound quite svelte and as could be predicted, the woman pointed that out to me immediately. I'm sure you can build them up with sugary foodstuffs. Please let us know how your group management is progressing - I feel you are a natural leader.