Sunday, July 11, 2010

Dental Assault, But at Least It's Warm for a Change

Jack and I feel that we have been having wonderful weather - 102 degrees last week. The others are moaning and staggering about and disolving into puddles as the day wears on. We donkeys have not even broken into so much as a light perspiration. Honestly, what a fuss. Herself has purchased an industrial fan for the run-in and a mesh style gate for Molly's stall front so she has more air circulation from the fan in the aisle. Just grazing in the field last week Molly was soaked from mane to hoof and even had some lather on her sides. These alpine types just can't take anything resembling decent warm weather.

I feel I should share my dental encounter with my readers so you can see how obsessed the woman is with causing me discomfort. My teeth are perfectly fine but every year she has the medical types look in there and decide if anything needs maintenance. Fortunately Doc and Molly went first so I had some time to strategize. They both behaved disgracefully, succumbing to the stupefying agent immediately - Doc even leaned his whole body on the wall like some boozy barfly on a bender. Molly lolled her tongue and could barely keep her feet under her.

By the time the veterinarian got to me, I was ready. I declined the needle in the neck quite forcefully but still got jabbed. He apologized but I detected an whiff of incincerity. I fought the damnable potion and managed to remain fairly alert. Jack was greatly distressed and hammered on the door whilst making a series of wild and dreadful noises. When he threatened to climb over the door to rescue me, the humans decided my teeth should be attacked in the run-in where he could see me but leave if he wished. He hovered like an anxious and ancient nanny throughout.

I confess, once the procedure was underway it proved to be not too terrible. Some filing here , some rasping there and it was done. The vet declared that I had the whitest, hardest, smallest teeth he had seen in ages. He doesn't know that I floss daily with a variety of twigs and never eat immediately before bed. Jack said the man was a hired asassin and wasn't getting anywhere near his teeth or in fact any part of his anatomy. Jack's dental plan remains flexible, with his remaining teeth left unmolested unless he shows signs of dental distress. He says they'll learn a thing or two about distress if they try to pry his jaws apart...

10 comments:

Dougie Donk said...

Sheaffer, I DO wish you hadn't posted about this assualt. Our woman has now remembered we are due a check-up & we were hoping that she had forgotten!

I am now planning my escape across the river & will seek out a suitable hiding spot in the hills. shades of Rob Roy, I think :)

BumbleVee said...

I have a dental appointment on Wednesday..... but, at least it is just checking and cleaning....I floss too.... whew! it pays off doesn't it? At least it is easy and painless....once we quit struggling...hahahha..... and, it's great to hear about your perfect teeth. Good for you Sheaffer!

I worked on the other end of it for years. It was my job to sit on the struggling patients while the dentist looked and filed and rasped.......

billie said...

Sheaffer, at least you're done for awhile now!

I like the way your dentist does it - w/o that hideous crank thing that raises the head up in the air.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, run like the wind, make like Rob Roy, and don't come back until you have something in writing. You will receive the on-going lecture about the importance of good dental health - stay concealed in the heather until the all-clear is given.

Vee, you had to sit on patients?! I had no idea your past was so chequered! I wonder...if Jack ever needs his teeth tended to, maybe you would do the honours?

Billie, the horses liked that head rest thingy so much that they were loathe to give it up. Far, far better than having one's head suspended from the rafters. I should mention that this vet puts a bottle of minty mouthwash in the water which makes things considerably pleasanter. Of course Molly wanted to swig the lot...

Buddy said...

Oh dear Sheaffer - I had my teeth checked last year and this and they are in good shape - can't remember having any dental work but I'm sure I have. Doc is quite the um "character" - had mom laughing and my Miss Molly - oh dear - she is a happy girl isn't she.

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

Buddy, you must have very healthy "pearly whites" as Jack calls them. Keep up the good work - I wonder, does the desert climate build strong dentition? Yes, Molly is always a cheerful soul, perhaps almost too ready to take her joie de vivre to the next level...

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - my vet said its genetics - some equines need their teeth done all the time and others not so much. I got good jeans!

Your Fren,

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
Iffn ya don't do that dentist thing, you can get so your teeth are eating a hole in your tongue or your cheek, and get so it is so painful ,you can not even chew .. what kind of tourture would THAT be?? That dentist guy keeps those sharp points ground down so you can eat all of the treats and stuff.. think of it THAT way, and maybe it will bother you less.. LOL ..
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, good to hear from you! I don't mind the dental work so much, though it's rather presumptuous of the humans. It's that blasted needle I hate - as soon as I become aware of the impending dental doom, I begin to fret and by the time the jab is administered, it has grown to epic proportions in my mind. Why can't they invent a stupefying agent that could be hidden in a mint or Stud Muffin?

Harriet said...

I adore the Sheaffer pictures! I can understand why many horses are apprehensive and owners too with the cost - but it is important! I try and care for my horses teeth as much (and as frequently) as I can and use high grade Equine Dentistry Rasps to file my horses teeth, although some horses don't take as well as others when it comes to being allowed to do this!