The full horror of my situation is beginning to dawn on me. Living next door to a hyperactive, juvenile delinquent mule is indiscribably awful. Not satisfied with having half my room, he now wants the other half. He spends his time with his head shoved between the boards, making what he takes to be hugely funny faces at me and spilling my water bucket. Tonight he managed to steal my dinner - of course he eats at warp speed while I prefer to chew each mouthful at least twenty five times. Now he's taken to rattling the chain that keeps the gate closed between us. I just doze off and he gives the thing a shake while saying "wake up ole guy. i'm board do summthin innerestin fer a change.". I barely get my ten hours of restorative sleep these days. The male human says he will add an extra board this weekend. I'd prefer he board the mule up in a wall the way they did in the middle ages.
On a happier note, we derived some amusement from sorting through the woman's things that she foolishly left on the ground. It was her own fault, of course. She had driven us from the lush paddock into the bare one to enforce a break from grazing (she calls it gorging). Then she put up the electric wire to make us stay put. We wandered around the corner of the barn and there was a veritable cornucopia of horse amusement. I tested the arms of her sunglasses and they came right off. Good thing I checked - who knows what might have happened otherwise. Doc grabbed the lunge whip and began whirling it around like a lion tamer. Molly sorted through her jacket for food, in the process turning the pockets into mushy slime. TJ got her hat and paraded around, holding it by the brim and waving it frantically. There were other interesting things, such as a telephonic device and a pair of gardening gloves, but we were rudely interrupted. "HEY YOU DEADBEATS!" she bellowed, and proceeded to charge at us, waving her arms. The objects became scattered far and wide and it took her a good half hour to retreive everything. Let it be a lesson to her. If she keeps us from our preferred food source, there will be unpleasant consequences.