Sunday, June 1, 2008

Personnel Changes

The high point of our week was watching the woman duck under the electrified fence and get soundly stung on the bottom. I wish we had it on tape so we could watch it over and over. The casual walk up to the fence, the semi-ducking motion, then a loud squawk as she sprang into a series of Nijinski-like moves. Well, an extremely ungraceful version of the great dancer. Mostly she just ran in circles clutching her posterior and yelping. I love it when the planets unfold as they should.

On a different note, I received a series of severe bites from TJ this week, one of them under my eye swelled to an impressive balloon size. What happens is that when the woman and Molly go off on their expeditions, I have no protection from TJ. Doc just lets him do as he wants and I can find no place to hide from his aggressions. The whole business of separating us has become so complicated, what with the lush, founder-provoking grass, that the woman phoned her friend Sheila Burns who runs the Primrose Donkey Sanctuary. They have decided that, as TJ's energy level knows no bounds, and Sheila has a two year old donkey called Wilson who is a carbon copy of TJ, that TJ will go to Sheila's for now and we will take in a thirty-something year old donkey called Jack who needs to escape the younger generation. This exchange is supposed to take place on Thursday and frankly I can't wait. The humans are quite teary about the whole thing but I have tried to assure them it is for the best. After all, how can I be put on public display in parades and things if I look like I've been savagely attacked by an axe murderer.

Yesterday we had a visit from the human offspring and their parental unit who used to live with Molly. The woman will post some photos. Of course TJ wouldn't let them near him but he also managed to keep me well away. Doc glued himself to the seven year old male human and washed him from head to foot. Molly accepted several stud muffins and then went off to graze. The girl human tried to sit on Molly but she was having none of it and gave a little buck and grunt and exited the area. The male human offspring sat on Doc and then lay down on him and Doc was thrilled with the whole thing. Strange because there are no young humans around here and he's never interacted much with them before. The woman said "I suppose now I'll have to get him his own kid." Those words strike terror to my heart - what if it were a human version of TJ? I'd rather stick to the two doddering humans we have, flawed though they are.


robert5721 said...

I guess that TJ needs to learn not to act like Dr Mengele so that he can be part of a farm, not a destroyer of it. I guess that I will sort of miss hearing about his antics, but I am not the target for his mangleings. Hopefully he will calm down some as he gets older.

I hope that your woman is putting salves and healing stuff on your wounds....I bet she is and I also bet that you enjoy every minute of that. Gotta look on the bright side....a guy sitting at the free bar on the Titanic said that I
Hope you heal quickly....
Mr Gale

montanasmama said...

I am so glad to hear TJ is going and you will be getting a roomie who should be more compatible. The mental abuse was bad enough but with the physical abuse escalating I was getting seriously worried about you.

Gale said...

Having done the electric fence shuffle on more than one occasion myself, I sympathize with your woman. All the animals here were chortling under their breath.

I hope swapping out roommates will be a positive thing for both you and TJ. Jack sounds like a distinguished older gentleman who will share quiet stories with you and won't dump your water bucket. I have a feeling you and he will get along famously!

I look forward to seeing the photos of Doc and the miniature humans. Doc's a good old soul, isn't he? Yes, it's best to have mini humans over just to visit briefly, with their sire and dam supervising. For someone of your diminutive size, they could be a PITA, left to their own devices. TJ would look good in comparison.

billie said...

Sheaffer, I'm happy to hear you will have a new roommate and companion who sounds more suitable. I imagine we will soon be hearing wonderful stories about Jack. Being alive for all those years he must have many to share with you.

I will miss reading about TJ but it sounds like he needs someone young and "just like him" so they can teach one another some boundaries and also hopefully find a way to cavort together without injury.

I'm so sorry you got the bad bites. I hope they heal quickly.

I suppose if we "women who love horses and donkeys" are going to string up stinging wire it is only fair that now and then we have to endure the sting ourselves!

ponymaid said...

I thank you all for your kindness - it has been the worst of times and now I hope it will be the best of times. I'm hoping Jack will not be quite so physically active - surely at age thirty-something he has gotten the "heebie jeebies" out.

I am stiff and sore and bloodied by the TJ attacks and look forward to not having to check over my shoulder all the time. I know he's a young lad with more energy than he knows what to do with, but his social skills are sadly lacking. I think the collection of donkeys at the Sanctuary will teach him lots of "life lessons".

Strangely, the humans are quite bereft at the thought of TJ's departure - it must be his angelic demeanor and fluffy person.

Finn the Wonder Pony said...

I am so sorry to hear that TJ hurt you so badly! The woman should be showering you with goodies as she ministers your wounds, all the while cooing and whispering, "I'm sooo sorry Sheaffer! You are the very best equine in the world! Would you like me to peel you a grape?"

Your life will probably be far less "exciting" with a donkey friend of -ahem- a certain age. As far as the humans' being bereft over TJ leaving, I can only speculate that they had no idea how much he was torturing you, as he seems to do the worst when they are not looking.

I know nothing of sanctuaries, but I imagine that a 2-y-o might be good a match for TJ. Maybe the sanctuary lady will tell the woman and she will tell you, stories of TJ being harassed by someone younger and probably smarter than himself.

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,
I am pleased to hear you are getting a new stall mate. I am sure your life will be much easier when Jack arrives.

You mentioned several weeks ago that you had been invited to participate in the Sports Day Parade this Saturday. Will you still be able to attend or will all your public appearances be cancelled until your injuries have healed?

I am looking forward to hearing some words of wisdom from Jack. I hope all goes well on "move in" day.

Your fan,


ponymaid said...

CindyLou - I hadn't even thought of asking to have my grapes peeled (she gives me green grapes sometimes) but I will certainly be demanding that she do so from now on. And I also hope Jack is of a calmer and less hysterical nature.

Willy, I believe I will still be participating in Sports Day, though my usual polished appearance will be sadly undermined by my many scars and scabs. I'm afraid the several acres of bare patches may catch the light and blind the bystanders...

Gale said...

Sheaffer, I don't know what type of "costume" you're planning to wear for the parade, but I know your woman is clever enough to find something that will cover the blemishes -- an XXXL hockey jersey perhaps?

Oh, and please remind her to take the camera. Bare spots or not, WE want to see you!