Saturday, June 7, 2008

I Return Triumphant

What a grand day it was. The sun shone, a light breeze kept the humidity in check and all went remarkably well with my parade appearance. I still harbour grave doubts about the dignity of the costume, but am willing to graciously overlook that point. I would have much preferred vintage cricket garb, or a golfing costume from the1920's. Oh well.

The tall woman arrived with her metal box on wheels and off we went, my woman riding in the back with me. She was a bit selfish about letting me stand on her toes, but I managed. I can't see out of the damn thing and had to content myself with checking the wiring and pawing moodily. As we arrived a Bagpipe band suddenly burst forth with "The Maple Leaf Forever". I was touched by the welcome, though the woman suggested it was just coincidence. Possibly, since they would probably have used the more appropriate "Hail to the Chief". A team of the largest equines I have ever seen were parked across from us and I became very excited and made wheezing noises boredering on braying until I was taken to meet them. At first they didn't see me down at knee-level but when they did one of them gave me a stimulating scalp massage. I wanted to stay with them but was unceremoniously dragged away to be harnessed and"costumed".

The assembly and departure of the parade was a wonderful study in chaos and confusion, with everyone shouting happily and visiting and ignoring the many organizers who kept contradicting each other with the order of start. We ended up behind my large friends and followed by a locomotive type thing on wheels. My large friends had their own clean-up crew with shovels and a shopping cart with a large orange garbage bag. By the end of the parade, they had filled the entire thing! I was awestruck with their output.

The town looked very much like a set from long ago. Old houses with large trees on the lawns, gardens overflowing with flowers and people waving and cheering us on. Some of them inexplicably yelled "Hey Donkehhhhh!" in my directon but I politely ignored their breach of etiquette. On Centre St., a mob of attractive young ladies who work at the trendy "Banana Cafe" all rushed into the street to fuss over me. Unfortunately, they were food-less.

We wound up at the park where Sports Day is held. It had some odd and torturous contraptions that fling people in all directions, causing them to scream and turn green but they actually pay for the priviledge. There was a large beer tent and many of the parade watchers and some of the actual parade members marched right over to it in a purposeful manner. The entire band looked like it might veer in that direction but they bravely carried on to the bitter end.

By then I was quite tired and my costume had become disarranged, with both socks and knee pads around my ankles. They unhitched me and the humans pulled the cart back to the starting point. Did my heart good to see them between the shafts. I met a policeman in a car along the way and stopped to have a word with him. He refused to arrest the woman on charges of negligence in my care and nurturing. Ridiculous. He could see how wasted and frail I am.

And so home, triumphant and tired, to be greeted by Jack who acted as if I had been away on a world tour. I quite like having a "follower" and he seems happy to leave all the responsibility of leadership to me. It makes a change from the TJ reign of terror. The sanctuary is still in a state of shock and awe as a result of his arrival. More on that later.


Gale said...

What a wonderful upbeat post, Sheaffer. You sound like your old self again.

You know what we want! Pictures!

ponymaid said...

Thank you Gale! Pics now posted - and you are quite right, things seem to be looking up Chez-Sheaffer.

billie said...

Sheaffer, what lovely pictures - you are most handsome and SO brave and calm amidst all the chaos of a parade!

It sounds like a grand day and what a joy to return home to Jack's gentle and loving welcome.

Where did you learn to drive so well? We have aspirations to teach the painted pony to drive, and perhaps Rafer and Redford too. A two in hand donkey team! We could have our own parade.

Gale said...

Fabulous photos! You look positively wonderful, quite svelte with your recent haircut. And there's a spring in your step!

Clearly, this is what you are meant to do...thrill the crowds, meet and greet, and show the world how great donkeys are.

Once again, Sheaffer, you have earned our admiration and won our hearts!

robert5721 said...

well, so much for the term sanctuary....right? You look superb in your jersey, but I have a few questions for you. first, who is the tall woman who would not demand that the bananna waitresses bring you a meal? HOW INCONSIDERATE! What team was your jersey from? Did you invite your new buddies over to give the DOC a run for his money? By the way, I must say you have trained the tall woman well, as she is holding the shafts perfectly and walking the required safe distance behind you in the picture....good go there pal!! I want to see pictures of all of your great adventures this summer....more L8r.
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

billie, it was I who, at the tender age of two, taught the humans to drive. I seem to have been born with the knowledge imprinted in my DNA and had perfected stop, go, walk, trot, left, right and back-up by day two. I especially like those cone courses with tennis balls balanced on the cones and would like to point out that any displaced tennis balls are inevitably driver error. Rafer will teach you to drive in no time.

Mr. Gale - I too was shocked at the selfish attitude of the Banana Cafe waitress women. Being fawned over is all well and good, but a pint of lager would have been nice as I was toiling up a hill towing the tall woman. Tsk. Some people.

The sports jersey has a bit of a story...The tall woman appeared with it last week and held it up for the woman to see. The woman said "Ummm, errr, do you think we should use that number and team name in a family parade?" The tall woman said "Why, what's wrong with 63?" Then she turned it around and fell into a laughing fit that nearly choked her. Apparantly the number is considered quite naughty and the name was - shall we say, inappropriate - so they cut out the area with that on and I had the number 63 on my topside. They are utterly baffling sometimes. The woman did tell the policeman that I was too embarrassed to wear a Leaf's jersey this year and he not only agreed but commended me on my good judgement. I am quite a fan of all things leafy, so they had no right speaking on my behalf.

robert5721 said...

It is REALLY GREAT to hear that your relationship with Jack is going so well. Now you can get back to your Presidential Campaign with another confidante and ally on the team.
Mr Gale

Janet Roper said...

Sheaffer, what great pics and great telling of your story! I am enjoying your blog very much, and look forward to reading about your escapades in the future.

ponymaid said...

Mr. Ga;r, I hadn't thought of that - Jack could be the ultimate senior advisor. After all, he seems to have personal knowledge of most of the last century.

Janet, I am most grateful to know you're enjoying my donkey musings - do you yourself have a donkey in your life? If not, I know where you can get a very lively mini-mule...

the7msn said...

Hey, Shaeffer, we're lovin' the head gear you're wearing, but still wondering about the jersey. Looks like the Bruins to us, or perhaps an old Penguins model? We SO want to be in a parade, and our mom can't wait til we teach her how to drive.
Your pals,
George and Alan

CindyLouWho said...

Sheaffer, You look marvelous in your parade outfit! I'm glad your life is as it should be now: surrounded by adoring fans and support teams. It's terrific that your new companion is doing well and giving you the respect and admiration you so richly deserve! Now you just need to teach the woman or the tall woman to peel grapes for you.
We await your tales of a much quieter homelife and the wild goings on at the sanctuary...

ponymaid said...

George and Alan, humans can be a tad trying when you're teaching them driving skills, but remain patient and explain things in a very simple way. She will eventually learn. Then you can exhibit her in a parade. The jersey is from an unknown team, though the front was rather naughty, so they cut that out. The male wanted me to have a Montreal Canadiens jersey but there wasn't one to be found in this bastion of Leafs fans.

Cindylouwho - I have tried my best to indicate my grape needs and still I'm fed grapes with skin on. You may need to speak to them firmly.