I have so much to tell you. Yesterday the woman's tall friend who will accompany me in the parade came over with her giant clippers and they proceeded to style my fur coat. I would just like to go on record as saying I stood patiently for two hours while they buzzed the device all over me and said things like "Whoops!" and "Oh, oh, I'm sure we can camouflage that." Not very reassuring, I can tell you. As they proceeded, the full extent of the TJ damage become evident and they were suitably appalled. This resulted in many treats and much guilt.
They have left my undercarriage, or everything below the Plimsoll line, au naturel. This gives the effect that I am wearing a grass skirt or a sporran or some sort of fur fringe. The woman got out the camera but it had a fit of weakness and must be revived before she can take my photo. When it is revived I will get her to take a likeness of me and see what you think. She feels it will give me more bug protection but I hope it doesn't make me look like Queen Victoria in a bustle and four layers of long skirts.
At noon today a box on wheels showed up and there was much angry banging and clanging coming from inside. I must confess, I felt some trepidation. Out stepped an elderly and somewhat dilapidated donkey gentleman. Once out he became quite calm and stood quietly taking everything in. He was led to the front paddock section and was allowed to view us across the electrified wire. He stared for a very long time and eventually said "Good day." Then he went off on his own for awhile.
TJ had been given a lovely little leather halter with brass fittings two weeks ago and he and Doc have been systematically destroying it. This morning Doc pulled it off and they "lost" it in the paddock. How convenient - just an hour before his "ride" showed up. The humans put Doc in his stall and TJ in his and they had an interesting time thrusting him back into his tatty blue nylon halter. They had backed the metal box up to the gate and once caught, TJ charged out and leapt into it. I was astounded. His parting words were "hey fosil, i'll be bak so you betta watch out." It's as if a fuzzy, brown, 200lb. weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Doc is bereft. He hid TJ under his tail and behind him when the humans wanted to catch him and was generally most distraught. For reasons unknown, he adopted TJ as his own and felt he was doing an excellent job raising him. HA! He was like the doting parent who watches their child set fire to the sofa, climb up the drapes and smash all the crystal and says "He's so creative." It is quite sad to see him so despondent but I'm sure he'll adjust.
Jack is in my half of the stall and I'm in TJ's because Jack is larger than we expected. He's quite fussy and upset but the woman gave him a lovely mushy dinner and he scarfed the lot. It seems that, like George Washington, he has four actual teeth and the rest are probably carved ivory or wood. He must be ancient because he asked me if I had participated in the Boer War. He makes me feel quite spry and youthful by comparison.
I'm making faces at him for now just to let him know I'm the "Big Kahuna" around here. He merely sighs and turns his back. I feel like a whole new donkey this evening.