Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How to Retire a Donkey

My good friend Gale, who is also a long-time blog reader and donkey supporter, has sent me an extremely interesting film about a donkey retirement function in Russia. I will include it here so you may join me in celebrating the happy event.

As a long time member of a famous Russian ballet troupe, Monika the donkey, after 19 years of faithful service, at age 21 was deemed to have earned not only a comfortable retirement, but a truly fitting retirement party, worthy of a distinguished lady donkey moving graciously to dowager status. She was dressed in one of her stage costumes, including pink tutu, leg ribbons and a tiara and then led amongst her adoring public with her young replacement at her side. The young replacement looks suitably awe-struck and mindful of the importance of the occasion. Monika donkey is polite but firm with her throughout their walk together. The tutu will not be passed until the last moment.

They then adjourn to a banquet table, overflowing with all sorts of donkey hors d'oeuvres. Always a perfect lady and a consumate professional, Monika samples the delicacies without so much as a crumb on her tutu or a disarranged tiara. She then makes a final bow to her admirers, leaving not a dry eye in the house, I'm sure. And that, dear readers, is how one retires a donkey. With love and respect and gratitude for a job well done.

Jack's retirement was rather more of a near-death experience, brought on by years of neglect. He doesn't like to dwell on "them dark days" but he seemed rather wistful about the idea of a magnificent send-off into the senior years. He tells me that every day here is a party by his reckoning and we intend to keep it that way.

The magnificent Monika can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH6emSKRYFs

12 comments:

ハリソン said...
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Buddy said...

Oh my Sheaffer - that girly donkey had it going on. She sure looked beeutiful. I think that Jack needs a ceremony - plaid waist coat and top hat.

Your Fren,

billie said...

Wow - what a beautiful donkey ballerina she is!

I agree with Buddy. Jack needs his own ceremony, and YOU, Sheaffer, need to be the one planning it. (lord knows what The Woman would come up with - it would definitely involve vermifuge!)

ponymaid said...

Buddy, I know, I know, she's a most attractive older donkey lady and I find myself strangely smitten. I am most impressed by her air of aloof dignity and calm even in the face of the paparazzi dogging her every step. We must begin pondering a similar ceremony for Jack - I know he would love the waistcoat idea.

Billie, we must not mention a word of the proposed Jack retirement ceremony to Herself. She would turn it into a dreadful brouhahah, complete with garish costumes and inappropriate entertainment. Jack wants Flatt and Scruggs to provide the music but I have told him they are no longer fiddling amongst us.

billie said...

Sheaffer, perhaps The Woman could be involved merely as patroness, writing the checks for the various supplies needed and entertainment, all organized by Yourself.

I would hate to think you might have to dip into your own retirement fund to foot the bill. I imagine Doc would chip in, but somehow I envision Molly considering her contribution to be a new outfit and her attendance at the soiree.

Gale said...

Thank you, Sheaffer, for sharing this with your wonderful audience. It makes me smile each time I watch it.

Given their refined training, Monika and her replacement probably do have lovely table manners. I assure you, however, that the crew here would have broken fences to get to the goodies and then would have fought over the empty plate!

微笑每一天 said...
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ponymaid said...

Billie, Herself should never be allowed to operate in the capacity of event planner. The results are too horrifying. Molly is equally as horrifying in her role of party crasher (literally). Where is Emily Post when I need her most?

Gale, many thanks for sharing this wonderful film. I wonder if Monika would like to retire here with Jack and self - she's probably used to ridiculous amounts of snow and ice after a lifetime in Russia. I'm quite sure she wouldn't insist on trying out complicated rasslin moves on my person.

Gale said...

Hmmmm, probably no rasslin' involved, but you might end up wearing a pink tutu and ballet slippers.

ponymaid said...

Gale, how horribly, frighteningly insightful of you. I'm sure she's off looking for yards of tulle even as we speak. The only thing marginally worse would be finding myself stuffed into a leotard and looking like a portly Nureyev.

Does anyone know where the bizarre chinese comments are coming from and how I might rid my blog of them?

billie said...

Sheaffer, I am getting the Chinese comments too. The only way I can keep the spam off is to moderate comments, but many people use the word verification thing and that seems to work too!

ponymaid said...

Thank you Billie, we will search for the word verification thingummy