Saturday, May 7, 2011

The VET Was Here Today

Yes, the "vitinrey" himself, that needle-packing, mouth probing, finger poking busybody. I should have known when we were dragged back in at 9am that nothing good would follow. I adopted a policy of trying to blend into the back wall of my room but unfortunately in addition to being an officious busybody he's also quite observant.

Chester went first, and being new to this operation, he didn't recognize the mad medical man for what he truly is. The veterinarian lavished him with praise and offered him a handful of treats. Next thing he had his hand is Chester's mouth, announced a veritable mountain range of sharp peaks on many of his teeth and pointed out some baby teeth that are still loitering about in there. Chester is not five years old, but four it seems. The appointment for filing will take place in a week's time.

Molly went next and her full figure drew a warning about the perils of overeating. She blew a raspberry in the vet's direction and rolled her eyes. She didn't even notice when he stuck the needles in her muscular neck. She gulped down the treats offered and lumbered back to her stall where she searched her bedding in vain for hay wisps.

That left only adrenaline surged, my nerves jangled and every sense told me that the next few minutes would be tense indeed. I reared slightly a couple of times to indicate my willingness to set passive resistence aside, I snorted and stamped a foot and then I buried my head in the back corner. "Now, now," said the madman and offered me a treat. I snatched the treat and went back into ostrich mode. He patted my neck and paid me outlandish compliments and next thing it was all over and he was handing me more treats. To my amazement I survived unscathed but I'm still trying to figure out what sleight-of-hand was used. I must brood on this further. At least Molly and I don't need our teeth done this year.

I'm pleased to report that although Jack was attacked with the dreaded vermifuge he gave better than he got. It took three people to hold him and I hear they are still in recovery after he towed them around like so many rubber dinghys. Jack is fine fettle but highly indignant and is still muttering about "maniacks what attak a frale old man with poisin".


billie said...

Sheaffer, I thought I left a comment earlier but perhaps I am dreaming!

Thank goodness your vet business is taken care of for the year and you can go back to life as usual. Jack seems to thrive on the vitnery tug of war sessions - do you think he secretly enjoys dragging them around?

We met the new horse across the lane and also his four goat pals who live with him. Quite the herd! I also discovered that two farms down the lane might be on the market soon so I think The Woman should consider purchasing one as a southern retreat for you. No more winter cold and endless ice and snow! Just hop on the box and drive down to your paradise here. When our bugs come out, you can head north to your haven there.

See? It is all sorted. I can see your name on the postbox already!!

ponymaid said...

billie, Jack always emerges victorious and triumphant from "vitinrey" adventure so I imagine there is some level of satisfaction on his part. I plan to sell my belongings - do you think the faux-metal trophy from my parade appearance could be sold through Sothebys? The proceeds will be used to place an offer on the place near you. I've had quite enough of this winter nonsense.

Buddy said...

I left a comment too and its gone - and as I'm getting older I forgot what it was - I know it how to do with Molly - oh Molly my love - when I think of you I forget everything else.

Your confused fren,

ponymaid said...

Buddy, I wonder where to comments are going? Somewhere into the ether...Molly is simpering at the very thought of her golden boyfriend. Sigh.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - tell Miss Molly I'm almost all shedded out - soon a new picture just for her.

On another note - I'm mad as a hatter! Saturday mom went to Red Rock Canyon and went horseback riding without ME! Said she couldn't - had to ride a stable horse or a boarded horse - well I never. She went on and on about the ride - how beautiful it was - saw all the cacti in bloom - whatever they are - and lots of wildflowers. She even rode a PALOMINO MARE! How could she?

Still in a snit - your fren,