Thursday, September 29, 2011
Important Political Announcement
Please visit my friend billie's blog at http://camera-obscura-billie.blogspot.com/ to read the details. A change is afoot my friends and not a moment too soon.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Here I Am!
And I can assure you, it's been quite a struggle getting Herself firmly planted at the keyboard for more than five seconds. I've been following her about for a month, insisting that I have much to say, that my readers must miss me, that the universe is NOT unfolding as it should and what does she answer? She stares at me absentmindedly, looking very much like an even more distracted version of the White Rabbit, and says "yes, yes, I'm getting to it..." So this morning I stood gently but firmly on her left foot, until she agreed to apply herself.
It has been a long, hot and therefore good summer. Molly's ankle is doing very well although her slimming powder seems to have had no effect so far on her generous figure. Chester has moved in with a human called Shannon who has the same energy level as he does and who thinks he is utterly wonderful. Best of all, he now lives at the trainer's place and so sees him every day too. Molly is relieved that he is not here to pinch her bottom on a regular basis. We miss him but he definitely needed a broader canvas on which to paint his daily life. We are shopping for a replacement door for our run-in, to be installed before winter...
I have several incidents of near-abuse to report - I feel this should be in the public record. Whilst filling my drinking vessel one evening, the Woman became so distracted by a large insect that was removing approx. a quarter pound of flesh from her upper arm that she quite suddenly and violently sprayed me directly in the face with a stream of cold water! I have always despised those hose things and now have decided to never allow myself to be within a ten foot radius of one ever again.
Another evening, she forgot entirely to put my bed back together. This came about because she rummages in my room daily, removing any offensive substances, including wet spots. While engaged in this she babbles on and on about the dangers of ammonia and the importance of cleanliness. She then peers nearsightedly at the remaining damp spots on the mat and prodeeds to cover them with a beige powder which apparently exists with the sole purpose of battling the dreaded ammonia foe. I indulge her by listening with half an ear. On one particularly hot day this summer, she became so addled with the heat that she forgot entirely to put my bed back together! The result? I spent the night huddled at the side of my room, surrounded by piles of clean bedding and powdery bare spots on the mat, an uneasy, uncomfortable occupant of my own space. When she came to release us early the next morning, she immediately saw her mistake and apologized profusely but it was too late. I cannot and will not forgive this sort of incompetence.
There are many, many other lesser incidents -who leaves their riding head gear in the aisle in the dusk where a donkey naturally assumes it is a violent predator and knocks over an electric fan in an effort to escape? And who leaves a saddle cloth on the front of a donkey's stall where it can fall on his head when he is eating, making him think he is being taken captive by a band of kidnappers? Well. You take my point, I'm sure.
Thank goodness for my friends, whom I have dearly missed this past month. Jack even wrote to Herself demanding my voice be restored. And Billie (human to Redford and Rafer Donkey) published a link to an all-Haflinger display so Molly and Buddy could see quite literally tons and tons of golden horse flesh. I sincerely hope Herself has been shamed into womaning the keyboard once again.
It has been a long, hot and therefore good summer. Molly's ankle is doing very well although her slimming powder seems to have had no effect so far on her generous figure. Chester has moved in with a human called Shannon who has the same energy level as he does and who thinks he is utterly wonderful. Best of all, he now lives at the trainer's place and so sees him every day too. Molly is relieved that he is not here to pinch her bottom on a regular basis. We miss him but he definitely needed a broader canvas on which to paint his daily life. We are shopping for a replacement door for our run-in, to be installed before winter...
I have several incidents of near-abuse to report - I feel this should be in the public record. Whilst filling my drinking vessel one evening, the Woman became so distracted by a large insect that was removing approx. a quarter pound of flesh from her upper arm that she quite suddenly and violently sprayed me directly in the face with a stream of cold water! I have always despised those hose things and now have decided to never allow myself to be within a ten foot radius of one ever again.
Another evening, she forgot entirely to put my bed back together. This came about because she rummages in my room daily, removing any offensive substances, including wet spots. While engaged in this she babbles on and on about the dangers of ammonia and the importance of cleanliness. She then peers nearsightedly at the remaining damp spots on the mat and prodeeds to cover them with a beige powder which apparently exists with the sole purpose of battling the dreaded ammonia foe. I indulge her by listening with half an ear. On one particularly hot day this summer, she became so addled with the heat that she forgot entirely to put my bed back together! The result? I spent the night huddled at the side of my room, surrounded by piles of clean bedding and powdery bare spots on the mat, an uneasy, uncomfortable occupant of my own space. When she came to release us early the next morning, she immediately saw her mistake and apologized profusely but it was too late. I cannot and will not forgive this sort of incompetence.
There are many, many other lesser incidents -who leaves their riding head gear in the aisle in the dusk where a donkey naturally assumes it is a violent predator and knocks over an electric fan in an effort to escape? And who leaves a saddle cloth on the front of a donkey's stall where it can fall on his head when he is eating, making him think he is being taken captive by a band of kidnappers? Well. You take my point, I'm sure.
Thank goodness for my friends, whom I have dearly missed this past month. Jack even wrote to Herself demanding my voice be restored. And Billie (human to Redford and Rafer Donkey) published a link to an all-Haflinger display so Molly and Buddy could see quite literally tons and tons of golden horse flesh. I sincerely hope Herself has been shamed into womaning the keyboard once again.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
It's True - Good Help is Hard To Find
I must apologize for my prolonged absence, which is in fact no fault of mine but of the sub-standard level of "help" available to me. These days, whenever I way lay the Woman and announce that I have something to say, she replies "not now, Sheaffer, I have to mow the grass, weed the garden, run off to some lawn fete, visit with friends, do some "real" writing, harrow the sandy ring etc. etc. ad infinitum. One of these days (maybe after grass season) I will squeeze through the fence and simply disappear. I wonder how long it will take her to notice I'm gone. No doubt until she needs someone to blame for every little misunderstanding ( how was I to know her unattractive riding helmet wasn't a food bowl when I accidentally dribbled some puddle water in it?).
Molly's ankle seems much improved and they went off to the forest the other day and no doubt made tremendous nuisances of themselves. Molly came back very smug and bragged about the legions of admirers she met, her wallow in the pond and the rare vegetation she inhaled. So far her slimming powder has made no difference whatsoever but she inhales that as well. It's all grist to her mill.
Chester continues to "renovate" the place on an ongoing basis. He remains remarkably cheerful about any damage he inflicts on himself in the process. Yesterday he grabbed the handle of a cleaning implement, misjudged the weight, and whacked himself smartly on the side of the head. It bothered him not one whit. He went on to immediately become entangled in a long strip of fly paper, wash both front feet in the water trough and purloin a cannister of fly spray, which very nearly exploded in his face when he squeezed it. His favourite word is "cool!". I find the younger generation quite alarming.
The days are growing noticeably shorter and as a result my new winter coat is growing noticeably longer. One can't be too careful. The worst is yet to come.
Molly's ankle seems much improved and they went off to the forest the other day and no doubt made tremendous nuisances of themselves. Molly came back very smug and bragged about the legions of admirers she met, her wallow in the pond and the rare vegetation she inhaled. So far her slimming powder has made no difference whatsoever but she inhales that as well. It's all grist to her mill.
Chester continues to "renovate" the place on an ongoing basis. He remains remarkably cheerful about any damage he inflicts on himself in the process. Yesterday he grabbed the handle of a cleaning implement, misjudged the weight, and whacked himself smartly on the side of the head. It bothered him not one whit. He went on to immediately become entangled in a long strip of fly paper, wash both front feet in the water trough and purloin a cannister of fly spray, which very nearly exploded in his face when he squeezed it. His favourite word is "cool!". I find the younger generation quite alarming.
The days are growing noticeably shorter and as a result my new winter coat is growing noticeably longer. One can't be too careful. The worst is yet to come.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Criminal Activity
I want to assure my readers that I was in no way involved with any of the following shady goings-on. My record remains unblemished but the same cannot be said for the young Haflinger element around here. The swath of destruction continues to expand daily.
Although it makes him equal parts sticky and smelly, the heat has not affected Chester's energy level in the least. When the woman foolishly decided to change our routine so we were outside during the night time, Chester's energy level expanded even further. He spent the first night galloping around, snorting and splattering the barn with mud. The second night he spent digging under the trees - unearthing buried treasure he calls it - and the third night he outdid himself and tore the door off the run-in. I have included photographic evidence. After three nights we were switched back to our usual routine.
Molly's ankle is much better but still has a bit of a stammer when she trots, so she is not going to the trail riding get-together next week at my friend Smokey's establishment. She is furious. I know that somehow I will pay for this. Wait until she finds out she has to go on some sort of slimming drug meant for thyroid cases. Her test results are at the low end of normal and the vet has decided to help her along with a weight loss stimulator. This does not bode well.
I continue to pursue a balanced approach to the growing/shedding of winter hair. I always err on the side of caution - I do not, as some suggest, look like a balding buffalo lap robe. I include a photo of self so you can see exactly what I mean.
Although it makes him equal parts sticky and smelly, the heat has not affected Chester's energy level in the least. When the woman foolishly decided to change our routine so we were outside during the night time, Chester's energy level expanded even further. He spent the first night galloping around, snorting and splattering the barn with mud. The second night he spent digging under the trees - unearthing buried treasure he calls it - and the third night he outdid himself and tore the door off the run-in. I have included photographic evidence. After three nights we were switched back to our usual routine.
Molly's ankle is much better but still has a bit of a stammer when she trots, so she is not going to the trail riding get-together next week at my friend Smokey's establishment. She is furious. I know that somehow I will pay for this. Wait until she finds out she has to go on some sort of slimming drug meant for thyroid cases. Her test results are at the low end of normal and the vet has decided to help her along with a weight loss stimulator. This does not bode well.
I continue to pursue a balanced approach to the growing/shedding of winter hair. I always err on the side of caution - I do not, as some suggest, look like a balding buffalo lap robe. I include a photo of self so you can see exactly what I mean.
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Fan Man
It hardly seems possible but yesterday the temperature broke a heat record. It seems it soared to over one hundred degrees, virtually eliminating the possiblilty that it may snow in the next day or so. This is fine with me. I don't care for the accompanying insects, which make a meal of my legs, but what can you do.
The Haflingers are so damp with perspiration they look black much of the time. To that end the woman has installed fans in front of their rooms. Molly is an old hand at the fan routine and stands, lower lip drooping, forelock blowing in the breeze. She is still wearing an ice boot in the evenings and she quite enjoys it.
And then there is Chester. He likes the whole fan idea but regards it as an interactive toy. He moved his pile of hay in front of it so he could enjoy the breeze and then had the brilliant idea of inserting some long strands of hay directly into the machine. The results pleased him immensely. The fan said "braaaap", particles of hay flew everywhere and the woman leapt into action. She moved the fan further back and gave him a lecture on the dangers of electrical devices. She had no sooner turned around than he was bouncing his Jolly Ball, which was tied to the front of his room with a rope, off the front of the fan. The woman removed the ball. Chester had to content himself with allowing the breeze to blow under his upper lip, which he extends upwards, letting his eyes roll back in his head. He has likewise discovered the great joy of turning his posterior to the fan, elevating his tail, and letting the breeze waft over his unmentionables. That boy is a heathen at heart.
Owing to the firey furnace in which we find ourselves, we have been moved to an altered schedule. The last two evenings, we have been brought in, the horses bathed, iced, fanned etc. and then put back out when it is dark. I was so shocked that initially I refused to countenance the change and had to be wheeled outdoors like a trolley. Chester was so excited that he ran around in the dark yelling and Molly just grunted and went off to graze.
The Haflingers are so damp with perspiration they look black much of the time. To that end the woman has installed fans in front of their rooms. Molly is an old hand at the fan routine and stands, lower lip drooping, forelock blowing in the breeze. She is still wearing an ice boot in the evenings and she quite enjoys it.
And then there is Chester. He likes the whole fan idea but regards it as an interactive toy. He moved his pile of hay in front of it so he could enjoy the breeze and then had the brilliant idea of inserting some long strands of hay directly into the machine. The results pleased him immensely. The fan said "braaaap", particles of hay flew everywhere and the woman leapt into action. She moved the fan further back and gave him a lecture on the dangers of electrical devices. She had no sooner turned around than he was bouncing his Jolly Ball, which was tied to the front of his room with a rope, off the front of the fan. The woman removed the ball. Chester had to content himself with allowing the breeze to blow under his upper lip, which he extends upwards, letting his eyes roll back in his head. He has likewise discovered the great joy of turning his posterior to the fan, elevating his tail, and letting the breeze waft over his unmentionables. That boy is a heathen at heart.
Owing to the firey furnace in which we find ourselves, we have been moved to an altered schedule. The last two evenings, we have been brought in, the horses bathed, iced, fanned etc. and then put back out when it is dark. I was so shocked that initially I refused to countenance the change and had to be wheeled outdoors like a trolley. Chester was so excited that he ran around in the dark yelling and Molly just grunted and went off to graze.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Hot, Humid, Heavenly
Yes. That describes the weather right now but frankly, I seem to be the only one appreciating it. I have shed half my winter coat, will shed the rest by month's end and will immediately begin growing next year's covering. All around me are wilting but I can be found in the sand ring, soaking up the blistering goodness.
Violet caught a striped tree rodent and set it free in the house. As a result my sunbathing has been disturbed by muffled shrieks and dull thumps for the last three days. Violet says they just don't appreciate the generosity of the gift and refuses to do anything about it. Penny has offered to rout it but the humans say the structural damage would probably be unfixable.
Molly is suffering from washerwoman's ankle and is having the next while off while she takes meds and has her leg soaked. My word she's a tough nut - she had twelve needles in her ankle region and didn't even flinch. Then she had to stand on wooden blocks while they photographed the area. She is taking beef-flavoured meds (apparently the canine version is the same as the equine but one tenth the cost). The medical woman was astonished that Molly inhaled the tablet with great gusto, smacked her lips and grunted out a request for more.
Chester is horribly smug as his lessons are progressing steadily and he receives lavish praise . He is very jealous of the ice boot and stole it off the front of Molly's room when the Woman draped it there. It was retrieved intact, but somewhat frayed. He also wants his ankle photographed but so far has been denied.
Violet caught a striped tree rodent and set it free in the house. As a result my sunbathing has been disturbed by muffled shrieks and dull thumps for the last three days. Violet says they just don't appreciate the generosity of the gift and refuses to do anything about it. Penny has offered to rout it but the humans say the structural damage would probably be unfixable.
Molly is suffering from washerwoman's ankle and is having the next while off while she takes meds and has her leg soaked. My word she's a tough nut - she had twelve needles in her ankle region and didn't even flinch. Then she had to stand on wooden blocks while they photographed the area. She is taking beef-flavoured meds (apparently the canine version is the same as the equine but one tenth the cost). The medical woman was astonished that Molly inhaled the tablet with great gusto, smacked her lips and grunted out a request for more.
Chester is horribly smug as his lessons are progressing steadily and he receives lavish praise . He is very jealous of the ice boot and stole it off the front of Molly's room when the Woman draped it there. It was retrieved intact, but somewhat frayed. He also wants his ankle photographed but so far has been denied.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Jack Rules The Roost
I am pleased to report that Herself finally got over to visit Jack and Company but not pleased that her hostess gift was a bag of vermifuge. Honestly, how embarrassing. Most people would think of a bag of apples or carrots as being a fitting gift but no, my representative takes parasite poison. All I can say is good luck trying to get any of it into Jack.
Jack of course remembered the humans from here and greeted them politely. Then he remembered his busy schedule and tossed the Woman aside so he could get on with things. They met his two lady friends, Molly and Maggie Donkey and they renewed acquaintance with Simon and O'Sullivan and many of the other permanent residents. Poor O'Sullivan isn't doing well and was resting with his head on a pillow provided by Sheila. Russell is feeling his forty six years and for the first time in his life is walking like an old man.
TJ (Virgil) and his mule friend Finnegan fill the role of resident hooligans very well and range far and wide, pestering, thieving and generally causing chaos. The Woman still avers that TJ is the cutest thing on four legs but if she could look inside she would see the black soul of a tiny pirate/brigand.
All is well here. Chester is progressing with his lessons but continues to exhibit a streak of youthful exuberance that is sometimes alarming. This morning he grabbed the hose out of our water trough as it was filling and nearly drowned himself before realizing he needed to drop the thing for the drowning to cease. He ran off to the corner, snorting, dripping and looking puzzled and hurt. Then he approached the trough from another direction and tried to drink with his lips extended as far as possible. Herself says he may need something called a straw with a bend in it. Pshaw. What nonsense. Let the boy sink or swim, I say.
My harness fitter is making extensions for the waist portion of my new outfit. Once those arrive I will be able to progress in a stately fashion through the newly-cut hay fields. I need to be ready in case royalty drops in - some of the younger ones are in the area visiting and after Dennis's brush with them, who knows what could happen.
Jack of course remembered the humans from here and greeted them politely. Then he remembered his busy schedule and tossed the Woman aside so he could get on with things. They met his two lady friends, Molly and Maggie Donkey and they renewed acquaintance with Simon and O'Sullivan and many of the other permanent residents. Poor O'Sullivan isn't doing well and was resting with his head on a pillow provided by Sheila. Russell is feeling his forty six years and for the first time in his life is walking like an old man.
TJ (Virgil) and his mule friend Finnegan fill the role of resident hooligans very well and range far and wide, pestering, thieving and generally causing chaos. The Woman still avers that TJ is the cutest thing on four legs but if she could look inside she would see the black soul of a tiny pirate/brigand.
All is well here. Chester is progressing with his lessons but continues to exhibit a streak of youthful exuberance that is sometimes alarming. This morning he grabbed the hose out of our water trough as it was filling and nearly drowned himself before realizing he needed to drop the thing for the drowning to cease. He ran off to the corner, snorting, dripping and looking puzzled and hurt. Then he approached the trough from another direction and tried to drink with his lips extended as far as possible. Herself says he may need something called a straw with a bend in it. Pshaw. What nonsense. Let the boy sink or swim, I say.
My harness fitter is making extensions for the waist portion of my new outfit. Once those arrive I will be able to progress in a stately fashion through the newly-cut hay fields. I need to be ready in case royalty drops in - some of the younger ones are in the area visiting and after Dennis's brush with them, who knows what could happen.
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