There are several small churches in our little town and on Sundays many local folk can be seen on their way there, dressed in what Jack calls their "Sunday go to meetin' clothes". We're not sure what they do there but years ago, at our first barn, Doc had his own encounter with religion.
The woman was away and had left us to graze on the several acres of grass in front of the house, making sure to close the gate behind her (drat). Being young lads, Doc and I did some mock stallion fighting, chewed some fencing and even managed to eat a bit of late fall grass. Then strangers appeared at the gate. We rushed to greet them. They were fiddling with the catch on the gate and we took them by surprise, causing one of the females to scream. This mysterious outburst caused Doc to become overwrought and he galloped around in tight circles next to the gate. The people looked highly agitated and left. Most perplexing - and disappointing.
The strangers appeared again the next week but this time our woman was in the barn. She came out to meet them and one of the strangers, who was clad in a collection of animal pelts sewn together, began speaking very earnestly and quickly and trying to give the woman two magazines that had to do with religion of some sort. The woman said no thank you but still the strangers stayed and talked and talked. Then Doc, who was at the top of the paddock, spotted them and came barreling down to welcome them, sliding to a stop just inches away from the gate and showering them in clods of mud . "eeeeeeekkkkkkk !" screamed the pelt-clad female, "It's HIM - it's that big horse again! We were here last week and he wouldn't let us in the gate." A complete lie; we very much wanted them to come in but they rebuffed our warm invitation. Doc snorted in her face, inspected the pelts closely with his tongue, which caused him to sneeze violently, and snatched the magazines from her hand. With that the stranger hiked up the fur pelts and the whole group beat a hasty retreat to their conveyance. Gravel flew and they were gone.
Doc was devastated. "I liked them dudes", he said "expecially that fur one - and she even thought I was a BIG horse. Those paper things was borin - I wonder what humans see in this religion stuff. It tastes like cr**" He sighed and trudged off. The woman sighed and trudged back to the barn and I sighed and trudged off because that's just my normal mode. The whole ordeal has caused Doc and self to swear off anything to do with religion. There's an old saying about staying clear of religion and politics but I must confess, I find politics too enthralling to ever consider withdrawing from that sphere. I'm quite happy to leave religion to the humans though.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Meds and Muzzles
Jack is back to his old self and says he's forgotten about "the incident" when he turned Smurf blue in the face. The woman is watching him like a hawk and is concocting all sorts of things in the blender device to get his meds into him. Jack can smell one molecule of antibiotic in four gallons of feed so it's proved a challenge for herself. When she isn't looking for a nano second he tries to slide it under the divider to my side of the stall but so far I haven't had time to so much as taste it before it's rudely snatched away and put back in with Jack.
Jack is very touched by the concern shown by his blog friends and would like to say " it's mighty kind and mos appreciated by a ole timer". It seems some of our blog friends are also enduring health issues such as getting their heads stuck in fences and their hoofs afflicted with the dreaded abcess. Good grief, it's a veritable season of plagues. The foot man caught a touch of thrush in Jack's right hind today and Jack wasn't too pleased by the odoriferous liquid that gets squirted on it. Molly's mud fever is almost gone but it seems the record breaking rain we've had is responsible for both ailments. I'm sticking to high ground.
I've included a photo of self in the unspeakable anti-grazing muzzle. The endless rain has produced a bumper crop of grass and this is their idea of a solution to what they call my ever-expanding waistline. What nonsense. They know perfectly it's my luxuriant winter coat coming in and not layers of what they term donkey cellulite. Philistines.
The potato harvest is underway now the fields are a bit drier and I will write a full report on this highlight of my summer. I might as well - there's nothing else to be done when wearing a muzzle.
Jack is very touched by the concern shown by his blog friends and would like to say " it's mighty kind and mos appreciated by a ole timer". It seems some of our blog friends are also enduring health issues such as getting their heads stuck in fences and their hoofs afflicted with the dreaded abcess. Good grief, it's a veritable season of plagues. The foot man caught a touch of thrush in Jack's right hind today and Jack wasn't too pleased by the odoriferous liquid that gets squirted on it. Molly's mud fever is almost gone but it seems the record breaking rain we've had is responsible for both ailments. I'm sticking to high ground.
I've included a photo of self in the unspeakable anti-grazing muzzle. The endless rain has produced a bumper crop of grass and this is their idea of a solution to what they call my ever-expanding waistline. What nonsense. They know perfectly it's my luxuriant winter coat coming in and not layers of what they term donkey cellulite. Philistines.
The potato harvest is underway now the fields are a bit drier and I will write a full report on this highlight of my summer. I might as well - there's nothing else to be done when wearing a muzzle.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Jack Scares The Bejeebers Out of Us All
Last evening was much as usual - line up in the run-in and complain that our dinners weren't appearing fast enough, encourage the woman to improve her feed mixing skills and generally agitate until she let us in our stalls. She calls it slopping the hogs but her sense of humour is notoriously crude. The sounds of contented munching ensued. She went off to do some lawn maintenance while we finished. Then Jack started choking and coughing and gasping and got himself and the rest of us in a right state. The woman reappeared and vaulted over the front of his stall and began massaging his throat. It moved the mass further down but he was still most distressed. She raced off to the house and returned with the male human and told Jack the vet was on her way.
The vet was a long way away and took some time to arrive. Meanwhile Jack would cough and drool and snort and then suddenly have a panic attack and throw himself around the stall, nearly falling down. The humans stood with him and stroked him and he did his best to merge his body into theirs. When the vet came she gave him a needle to make him sleepy and then - I kid you not - stuck a garden hose down his gullet and began pumping warm water into him! It seems nearly his whole dinner was stuck and he began to spout quantities of food in all directions, drenching both the woman and the vet and the general surroundings. The vet got him cleaned out and left various meds for him and said he couldn't have any food for the next day and then only a sloppy mash. Jack looked like a he'd been in a bar fight and was suffering a violent hangover. The woman sat with him till he was awake and then checked on him through the night.
This morning he was his usual cheerful self and couldn't believe he was being starved. We stayed in all day and I got hay in my stall but poor Jack had nothing. The woman has modified his already soupy dinner and brought a device to the barn that has glass jar on a metal thing. It makes a screeching noise and pulverizes everthing to smithereens. Jack was so hungry he drank his whole dinner, meds and all, without blinking. Doc said, "Whoa, that is so cool, I always wanted my own blender!" He spent the rest of the day humming a dreadful tune called 'Margaritaville". Molly looked in the tack room window while the woman was mixing Jack's dinner and tried to place an order but the woman shooed her away.
Jack shrugged off the whole incident saying, "Twern't hardly nothin, I just got a speck of food stuck in muh craw." He says he got into the habit of eating as fast as possible when food was scarce and now his teeth are nearly useless, it can cause problems. His already soggy food is now positively awash and in addition the vet suggested putting rocks in with his feed to slow him down. She also said he's in remarkably good shape for a donkey of any age, and both Jack and the woman are just beaming over that one. Other than that the woman looks like she's been trampled by migrating caribou, but that may have something to do with lack of sleep.
The vet was a long way away and took some time to arrive. Meanwhile Jack would cough and drool and snort and then suddenly have a panic attack and throw himself around the stall, nearly falling down. The humans stood with him and stroked him and he did his best to merge his body into theirs. When the vet came she gave him a needle to make him sleepy and then - I kid you not - stuck a garden hose down his gullet and began pumping warm water into him! It seems nearly his whole dinner was stuck and he began to spout quantities of food in all directions, drenching both the woman and the vet and the general surroundings. The vet got him cleaned out and left various meds for him and said he couldn't have any food for the next day and then only a sloppy mash. Jack looked like a he'd been in a bar fight and was suffering a violent hangover. The woman sat with him till he was awake and then checked on him through the night.
This morning he was his usual cheerful self and couldn't believe he was being starved. We stayed in all day and I got hay in my stall but poor Jack had nothing. The woman has modified his already soupy dinner and brought a device to the barn that has glass jar on a metal thing. It makes a screeching noise and pulverizes everthing to smithereens. Jack was so hungry he drank his whole dinner, meds and all, without blinking. Doc said, "Whoa, that is so cool, I always wanted my own blender!" He spent the rest of the day humming a dreadful tune called 'Margaritaville". Molly looked in the tack room window while the woman was mixing Jack's dinner and tried to place an order but the woman shooed her away.
Jack shrugged off the whole incident saying, "Twern't hardly nothin, I just got a speck of food stuck in muh craw." He says he got into the habit of eating as fast as possible when food was scarce and now his teeth are nearly useless, it can cause problems. His already soggy food is now positively awash and in addition the vet suggested putting rocks in with his feed to slow him down. She also said he's in remarkably good shape for a donkey of any age, and both Jack and the woman are just beaming over that one. Other than that the woman looks like she's been trampled by migrating caribou, but that may have something to do with lack of sleep.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Tree Incident of '08
Imagine our surprise when one morning last week we stepped out of the barn and discovered a section of fence draped in tree branches. We hastened over, followed closely by the woman saying "Wait, hold it, let me check it out first". Of course we ignored her and increased our pace. We arrived in a dead heat and discovered a huge tree had split down the middle, taking two others with it, leaving just the bottom rail of the fence standing. The woman burrowed inside the tent of branches and emerged to tell us that there was no way we could squeeze through. We'll just see about that, I thought to myself. We played along and wandered off into the paddock looking innocent.
When she had gone, we sidled back and Doc said "Keep a lookout. I'm goin in". He muscled his way inside and a chorus of snapping and popping emerged as he reconnoitered. "I dunno," he said, sounding like he was inside a cavern. "One of you little guys could prolly get through." As if on cue, the woman appeared on the horizon - much like the proverbial bad penny. She was counting "One, two, three...oh cr**", she said "where's Doc?!" We all froze, including Doc. She arrived, panting, and Doc chose that moment to explode out of the tree like a thing possessed, branches attached to various parts of his person. The woman did a very good impersonation of a gymnast doing a back handspring. There were dark looks and much glaring and two fence repair male humans showed up soon after.
We were sorry to lose our potential route to freedom but supervised the humans closely. They used a loud, hand-held device with a rotating chain. It made intriguing demonic sounds and created a shower of dust and wood chips. It was eerily reminiscent of TJ on one of his missions. In no time at all a new rail was installed and the old ones back in place. Disappointing, to say the least. Jack and I rolled in the wood chips but really, as of that moment, the corner holds no further interest for us.
When she had gone, we sidled back and Doc said "Keep a lookout. I'm goin in". He muscled his way inside and a chorus of snapping and popping emerged as he reconnoitered. "I dunno," he said, sounding like he was inside a cavern. "One of you little guys could prolly get through." As if on cue, the woman appeared on the horizon - much like the proverbial bad penny. She was counting "One, two, three...oh cr**", she said "where's Doc?!" We all froze, including Doc. She arrived, panting, and Doc chose that moment to explode out of the tree like a thing possessed, branches attached to various parts of his person. The woman did a very good impersonation of a gymnast doing a back handspring. There were dark looks and much glaring and two fence repair male humans showed up soon after.
We were sorry to lose our potential route to freedom but supervised the humans closely. They used a loud, hand-held device with a rotating chain. It made intriguing demonic sounds and created a shower of dust and wood chips. It was eerily reminiscent of TJ on one of his missions. In no time at all a new rail was installed and the old ones back in place. Disappointing, to say the least. Jack and I rolled in the wood chips but really, as of that moment, the corner holds no further interest for us.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Departure of An Equine Super Model
Well, the beauteous one hopped in her travelling box and is gone from our lives. Doc's broken-hearted bellow could be heard in upper New York state. The four females went for another forest tour this morning before she packed her tack box and I still remain puzzled by this overwhelming desire to commune with nature. They found an enormous dead toad on one trail and that is simply not my idea of a fun time in the woods. Yechhhh.
Things are back to their usual tranquil pace and that's probably best for everyone's nerves, especially Jack, who has been gazing at Annie non-stop since her arrival on Saturday. He's exhausted and maybe now he can stop trying to hold his stomach in. We had an ungodly downpour last night and poor Annie got stuck in it in the front paddock. We helped in her rescue by calling loudly while her human braved the elements to rescue her. Doc would not come in, even for his dinner, until she was safely in the run-in. Annie was so scared and cold we thought she would shake herself to death but she quickly revived and scarfed her dinner.
The humans are very pleased with the 25km ride they did with the other hundred pairs of horses and humans. They raised around twenty thousand dollars altogether and plan to do it again next year. All that walking - I wouldn't do it if you paid ME twenty thousand dollars. They didn't even have Sherpas to carry their lunches.
Things are back to their usual tranquil pace and that's probably best for everyone's nerves, especially Jack, who has been gazing at Annie non-stop since her arrival on Saturday. He's exhausted and maybe now he can stop trying to hold his stomach in. We had an ungodly downpour last night and poor Annie got stuck in it in the front paddock. We helped in her rescue by calling loudly while her human braved the elements to rescue her. Doc would not come in, even for his dinner, until she was safely in the run-in. Annie was so scared and cold we thought she would shake herself to death but she quickly revived and scarfed her dinner.
The humans are very pleased with the 25km ride they did with the other hundred pairs of horses and humans. They raised around twenty thousand dollars altogether and plan to do it again next year. All that walking - I wouldn't do it if you paid ME twenty thousand dollars. They didn't even have Sherpas to carry their lunches.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Beautiful Visitor
On Saturday afternoon a truck and metal box with a horse whinnying inside pulled into our driveway. A breathtakingly beautiful bay female horse sashayed out and said "I'm Annie and I'm here!" Doc flexed his muscles and bellowed at her "Hubbahubba, who's the hot mama??" Jack and I added our voices to the chorus and chaos ensued. Turns out Annie and her human were here to join our woman and Molly in a 25km ride to raise funds for some human vet clinic. Frankly, I can barely envision 2.5km but if they want to traipse around forests in the heat, let them have at it. I'm glad to stay home and keep an eye on things.
Annie is staying in the run-in at night which is most exciting, as she can peer over the door and make announcements when she feels the urge to say something. Doc is absolutely besotted and actually nipped Molly chasing her away - Molly was quite dejected, so now Annie is kept in the front half of the paddock during the day and Doc patrols up and down the fence. Peace reigns once more.
The four females completed their ride on Sunday and came back with ribbons and certificates and things and then off they went again to a bbq. Typical. Bring the hard-working horses home and go off to have fun. Yesterday the four went off to a forest again. Annie does not want to go home and is trying to convince her human that they need to stay here. She likes the attention from the three male equines and the companionship of Molly but especially likes everyone commenting on her great beauty. Jack said she was "a fine figure of a woman and easy on the eyes". She does make a nice pasture ornament.
Must rush, Annie is getting out of sight and the male chorus must call her back where we can gaze upon her. I think Molly will be glad when she goes home...
Annie is staying in the run-in at night which is most exciting, as she can peer over the door and make announcements when she feels the urge to say something. Doc is absolutely besotted and actually nipped Molly chasing her away - Molly was quite dejected, so now Annie is kept in the front half of the paddock during the day and Doc patrols up and down the fence. Peace reigns once more.
The four females completed their ride on Sunday and came back with ribbons and certificates and things and then off they went again to a bbq. Typical. Bring the hard-working horses home and go off to have fun. Yesterday the four went off to a forest again. Annie does not want to go home and is trying to convince her human that they need to stay here. She likes the attention from the three male equines and the companionship of Molly but especially likes everyone commenting on her great beauty. Jack said she was "a fine figure of a woman and easy on the eyes". She does make a nice pasture ornament.
Must rush, Annie is getting out of sight and the male chorus must call her back where we can gaze upon her. I think Molly will be glad when she goes home...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
TJ Update
Well, they finally did it. They got in their conveyance and went to see how dear little TJ is faring at the PrimRose Donkey Sanctuary. I'm not sure what posessed them or why they would want to re-enter the dangerous world of the mini-mule but then again they often do things that are a complete mystery to me. At least they didn't ask me to accompany them.
I will reconstruct the visit as best I can from the woman's babblings. When they arrived TJ was in a small paddock with four other donkeys, including Wilson. "OoooooTJ, it's me", said the woman. TJ squinted at her and barged his way through the group. He snatched a carrot and retreated to the far corner, cheeks bulging in chipmunk fashion. The others all received carrots and though TJ tried to purloin those carrots too, the others stood their ground. It would seem he has acquired at least the rudiments of basic herd manners and has the scars and scrapes to show for it. Wilson the two year old donkey got very excited and began putting TJ in headlocks and grabbing his hocks and yanking on his tail. At last, someone who can stoop to TJ's low level of social interaction and who operates at his high level of energy.
The humans had a lovely tour of the sanctuary and met all twenty or so donkey residents. The woman was particularly taken by an ancient, dignified and exteremely hirsute donkey called Amos so I have included a photo of him with his equally ancient white friend Brennan and a blind younger female donkey called Patsy whom they watch over like elderly guardians. A young upstart called Charlie began chasing Patsy and the two older gentlemen rushed (slowly) to her rescue and cut off the hoodlum, placing Patsy between them. Charlie was banished to another paddock - maybe TJ should be in there with him - kind of a donkey Alcatraz.
Jack and I were both concerned that the woman would return home with TJ strapped into the back seat but even she seems to realize that he is where he needs to be, in a group setting with lots of activity and Jack is where he needs to be, in a small group where things move along at a tranquil and orderly pace. "Upon my word", Jack said "if she hada returned home with that youngun in tow, I woulda needed a whole keg ev nerve tonic." Amen to that.
I will reconstruct the visit as best I can from the woman's babblings. When they arrived TJ was in a small paddock with four other donkeys, including Wilson. "OoooooTJ, it's me", said the woman. TJ squinted at her and barged his way through the group. He snatched a carrot and retreated to the far corner, cheeks bulging in chipmunk fashion. The others all received carrots and though TJ tried to purloin those carrots too, the others stood their ground. It would seem he has acquired at least the rudiments of basic herd manners and has the scars and scrapes to show for it. Wilson the two year old donkey got very excited and began putting TJ in headlocks and grabbing his hocks and yanking on his tail. At last, someone who can stoop to TJ's low level of social interaction and who operates at his high level of energy.
The humans had a lovely tour of the sanctuary and met all twenty or so donkey residents. The woman was particularly taken by an ancient, dignified and exteremely hirsute donkey called Amos so I have included a photo of him with his equally ancient white friend Brennan and a blind younger female donkey called Patsy whom they watch over like elderly guardians. A young upstart called Charlie began chasing Patsy and the two older gentlemen rushed (slowly) to her rescue and cut off the hoodlum, placing Patsy between them. Charlie was banished to another paddock - maybe TJ should be in there with him - kind of a donkey Alcatraz.
Jack and I were both concerned that the woman would return home with TJ strapped into the back seat but even she seems to realize that he is where he needs to be, in a group setting with lots of activity and Jack is where he needs to be, in a small group where things move along at a tranquil and orderly pace. "Upon my word", Jack said "if she hada returned home with that youngun in tow, I woulda needed a whole keg ev nerve tonic." Amen to that.
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