We were still tucking into our six o'clock hay feed at ten in the evening (Jamie is very generous with portions) when the door creaked open and a horrible croaky voice said "I'm back!" Yes, it was the woman returned from her roaming and she is incubating some sort of heaves called "a cold" to which humans are prone. It makes her already un-dulcet tones positively freakish.
Jack was ecstatic and called her over for a huge session of patting and hugging, the horses just asked for more food and I was able to use my patented Sheaffer freeze-out technique on her to excellent effect. I snorted and reeled back, while shrugging off the hand attempting to pat me. I gave every impression of never having seen her before and in fact of suspecting she was a serial donkey abuser. It makes her gratifyingly annoyed and hurt. After a while I let her stroke the end of my nose but continued to express my fears that she might be the reincarnation of Lizzie Borden, without the charm.
Except for the issue of muzzles, on which our views are diametrically opposed, Jamie is an excellent minder. He gives us everything we need and more and does a thorough job of chambermaiding our rooms. Before his current employment, he worked at a place with one hundred and thirty high-strung race horses, which the woman says is just about the right experience for dealing with four spoiled, calculating equines here. Typical of her tendency to massive exggeration.
Jack has been bitten by what he calls"the rasslin bug" and spends much time offering to put me in various complicated holds. This worried Jamie terribly until he realized it was Jack doing the instigating and not me. I am happy to indulge this cool-weather whim of Jack's and we spent many hours last week snorting and grunting and stirring up the dust like Roman gladiators. Jack emerges as fresh as paint but I usually go off under the trees for a restorative nap. I just don't know where he stores all that energy.
The humans' travels sound distinctly boring - they brought us not one gift nor did they see any donkeys on their travels. I really don't see the point in all that fuss and bother if all they do is drive around and eat and look at things. Next time I will go with them and will steer their travel plans in a more exciting direction. A tour of a carrot plant or a visit to another church event or a spin around one of those historic gardens they mentioned (I would love to sample some heritage plants). I was born to travel and they are thwarting my desires and ambitions. Typical.