Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'm Going to the Opera!

Yes! Finally, they seem to have recognized my unquenched thirst and desperate longing for a few hours staring at the splendor of classically trained singers in full operatic garb. My top hat is buffed and and my opera glasses gleaming. The opera in question is Madama Butterfly and of course I have already committed every note to memory. I may feel inclined to burst into song at the more dramatic bits.

I know I must be invited because I heard the woman saying that our friends from the Nation's Capital are coming and that "we" are all going as a group. Obviously, I am to be one of the party. Jack says he has his doubts and that he would only go if someone called Minnie Pearl of the Grand Ole Opry was singing. Never heard of the woman. He went on to say she was known for her straw hat with the price tag dangling off the front. Then he lapsed into one of his chuckling fits that always ends in a round of coughing. I'm afraid he's losing touch with the real world, poor old man. Doc wants to come as well, outfitted with his air horn and foam finger. I assured him he was not invited and that brawling in the seats is highly unlikely.

On another note (hehheh, pardon the small pun), the woman placed a bag of pellets in the aisle today and went off to dump the wheelbarrow. The bag was already open so I investigated further by tasting said pellets. Not bad at all and certainly better than the dreadful pellets we are served at dinner. She returned while I had my head in the bag and scared me half to death by bellowing my name and asking what I thought I was doing. She pried my jaws apart and whisked out the loose material. It seems these new pellets are some sort of bedding she is trying out - one which expands rapidly when exposed to water.

Jack found the situation hilarious and kept saying things like "Thar she blows!" and "Man the lifeboats!". I spent a day focussed intently on my inner workings and waiting for the rumblings to subside. Fortunately, the feeling of fullness has passed and I was able to manage both lunch and dinner.


billie said...

Sheaffer, we must have a full report on the opera.

I have to say, the account of pellet-eating incident has me once again perplexed. Why is PBS not banging on the barn door demanding to film the first episode of the Sheaffer series?

Until then, I am bound to sit here and read your tales aloud. I am quite good at impersonating Jack, if I do say so myself.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - the opera - are you kidding me? What is the opera? Sounds like tuxedo wearing event - to me - I'm all about the halter and lead rope and some Aerosmith or some Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, Garth Brooks. Are they gonna be in the opera??? If so I will high tail it to your place.

So whats this pellet thing - I have dirt and more dirt - no special bedding - I eat pellets with my hay - its good stuff and makes me strong and sexy.

Speaking of how is my Miss Molly?

Your Fren,

Dougie Donk said...

I'm glad to hear that the wood pellets are also available on your side of the Atlantic. Our woman has been using them for a year now, since the price of shavings went sky high.

They make for a nice soft bed, with the added advantage that when they are all fluffed up, they are nearly as satisfying to roll in as a good dust bath. Bad news is that they Do come in plastic bags - sorry!

Madame Butterfly! How wonderful! I have seen it on video & my sense of splendour was satisfied by Lieutenant Pinkerton, who was wonderfully garbed in military uniform with lots of brass. Don't want to give too much away, but make sure your woman has lots of tissues in her handbag - the ending is rather sad.

Dougie Donk said...

Oh, your comment about your woman prising your jaws apart reminded me to tell you that mine has discovered a form of torture WORSE than vermifuge! The Equine Dental Technician!

I pray that your woman does not discover this descendant of Torquemada. He arrived with a sack full of instruments and a metal contraption to hold one's jaws apart - it was terrifying! He then proceeded to intimitely examine my dentition and file some pieces off.

I tolerated this with as much dignity as a small donkey can muster, but I have committed his appearance to memory & will extract revenge when he next appears.....

On a positive note, my food did taste a little better last night ; but I am sure there is no correlation between this and my torture.

South Valley Girl said...

Well FINALLY - an activity worthy of a sophisticated donkey like yourself, Sheaffer. I confess, I often worry about the lack of cultural opportunities open to you, but it sounds like Herself has oftened a little and will now finally allow you access to quality entertainment.

I still have my grandmother's silk velvet opera cloak - like yourself, she was an opera fan; too bad I can't get it to you in time, I can just imagine how fetching it would look on you. Black with white lining, just the thing for an outing like this.

Ah well, we'll keep our fingers crossed that Herself will find you something suitably natty to wear.

Do tell us how it all went.


ponymaid said...

Billie, I won't sleep a wink tonight. The friends from Ottawa have arrived and assure me that I am included in the opera party. Funny you should mention PBS - the woman often mentions that she feels as if she is in some warped version of "Animal Farm" melded with the worst of slapstick. I would very much like to hear your impersonation of Jack.

Buddy, according to Jack the opera is "a buncha high class fat ladies singin so high they bust the glass work".I am not sure if the persons you mention will partake in the opera but I will keep an eye out for them. Keep eating those pellets - Molly still thinks you're "dreamy". Sigh.

I know, Dougie, I know. Everything these days seems to come in the dreaded plastic bags. I will pay especial attention to the Pinkerton character - I like uniforms with shiny things on them.
I am sorry to say we have suffered the indignities of dental examinations at the hands of the red haired veterinary women. I gave up the fight long ago and simply go limp and open my mouth but Jack gives them a good workout. They always leave here looking much pinker than when they arrived.

South Valley Girl - your grandmother had a silk and velvet opera cloak?! I am impressed beyond words and only wish fate had landed me on your doorstep instead of here in the hinterland with Herself and three seasons of winter. It's a cold, cruel world.