Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Latest Outrage Chez Nous

After a three day winter gale last week left us nearly expired from exposure (even in the run-in), the weather has turned somewhat milder. Unfortunately, that three days was crucial to our comfort in more than one way.

When the weather outside is frightful, Herself takes a small degree of pity on us and puts our hay in three piles on the mats in the run-in. What happens then is that Doc decides Molly's pile is somehow superior and chases her away, she chases Jack and self away from our pile and we move on to Doc's, whereupon the whole process begins anew. This causes the hay to be lavishly strewn throughout the entire run-in. Once this happens, we four equids find it quite unpalatable - what with the foot odour, mud particles and other debris now mixed in with our meal. We then begin a chorus at the barn door which goes something like, "Woman, we need more food, this tastes funny, fresh hay please, we need it right now, did we mention this tastes funny etc.".

The outcome was inevitable, I suppose... One day she glared at us and said, "I know how to stop this nonsense." Oh? Starvation is now nonsense? Anyway, back she came with the male human, each of them carting these strange black metal barred affairs. They proceeded, with our close supervision, to fasten these things to the walls of the run-in. The contraptions looked quite artistic and we admired them in detail. Then...oh moment of horror. Cackling in a crazed fashion, Herself began inserting our hay in there. Yes! These odious objects are hay dispensers!

We hate the blasted things. In fact, we boycotted them until we were faint from hunger - at least fifteen minutes, if not longer. We stamped and called to her but her heart remained stony cold. Doc then tried to wrench the things from the walls but to no avail.

So dear readers, that is the sorry state of affairs at our place. We are forced to pull one meagre mouthful of hay at a time from between the prison bars. Can you believe it? At this time of celebration and festive feasting, we are relegated to working like slaves for our pittance. She bought us one of those huge striped peppermint canes as a peace offering and smashed it up, mixing it into our hot meal. Tasty, but not enough to make amends for putting our hay in wall prisons.

10 comments:

billie said...

Sheaffer, I shudder to reveal that we often use small mesh hay nets at our barn... :0

If you think it's tough getting hay out of the hay prison bars, you would keel over at the sight of the small mesh!

The one good thing is that the hay lasts WAY longer for all concerned.

That said, the nephews have had total access to the even bigger round bale (hay grower ran out of the smaller ones) - that's close to 1 ton of hay. They seem quite content, as does Salina.

The poor geldings must wait for me to peel theirs off and serve it to them in the field.

nvsally said...

Hay Sheaffer - Hay PRisons - oh my gosh - good thing I don't have anything to attach one to or I would have one. I have a big food barrel and I throw hay everywhere but in the barrel - its great fun until I pee on it - why do I do that you ask? Too lazy to walk away I guess.

Your Fren,

Buddy

Dougie Donk said...

I totally empathise with your outrage. My woman bought a huge prison for the big bale in the field, which is so vast that a wee bloke like me can't reach it!

Were it not for my tall friend Flynn, who kindly pulls off big sections for me, I would be reduced to picking up scraps from the ground. Scenes from "Oliver" come to mind.

South Valley Girl said...

Good morning Sheaffer:

I could hardly believe my eyes when I checked in this morning - poor starving Donkeys having to wrestle their food from some demonic contraption??? This is reprehensible, really - how can your human be so heartless? Surely it's clear to her that a refined, woefully underfed personage such as yourself needs constant nourishment, and NOT another obstacle preventing you from getting to your already meager diet. I can just imagine you tottering around the barn, so weak you can barely manage to pull a mouthful of hay out of that barred monstrosity. It breaks my heart to think of the hardship you endure so bravely every day.

It appears as if your human has more sympathy for Cats, though - Sally is certainly looking robust. Is her picture somehow compressed on my monitor, or has she recently gotten rather... filled out, as it were? Perhaps there's been an influx of Mice in the barn recently? It's good to know that SOMEONE is getting a decent meal at your place - cold comfort for you, though. You have all my sympathy.

I'll be on Winter Break as of this Friday, and not back in the office (and the internet) until the 4th of January, but I will monitor this situation until I sign off, in hopes that someone intervenes and takes pity on you and your companions.

In solidarity,

Christina / SVG

ponymaid said...

Billie, she tried those hair net - or is it hay net - affairs on us and we donkeys chewed out the bottom, creating a wonderful avalanche of hay. I felt quite dizzy when you mentioned a one ton bale of hay. I wonder if I could have one delivered without her noticing...

Buddy, a food barrel sounds rather appealing, except I could forsee Her Awfulness comparing my figure to said barrel. Jack also uses the spilt hay as a bathroom facility, much to the woman's chagrin. He says it's much more convenient in this weather.

Dougie, their conniving knows no bounds. We are able to reach up and pull small mouthfuls from the bottom of the hay prison and we clean up what falls to the floor, but your situation makes me quite worried. I would feel easier in my mind if you had a small step ladder.

Christina, you have it exactly! I'm tottering around, weak from hunger. Not, as SHE would have it, waddling around like an overstuffed footstool. She needs glasses - well, better ones anyway.
Sally has indeed grown in all directions. She is considerably heavier than the four pounds she weighed last year on arrival here. Sally has overcome her past traumas and has become quite calm and affectionate. She demands that the woman pick her up for a patting/purr session every morning and the woman says her lower spine is beginning to collapse under the weight of holding all that cat. Herself also says Sally is taking on my body shape. What nonsense.

CindyLouWho said...

Oh Sheaffer! This will NOT do! Doesn't the woman know it is very bad for equines to crane their necks around in those positions?! You will all need chiropractors in no time! Not to mention the dust that gets into one's nose when one does manage to free a bite of hay from the prison... and all the dust falling on you and Jack from the others. I applaud your wits in opening the hay bags. I never mastered that, but my daughter Pnut has been known to empty a hay bag just to see the hay on the ground where it should be.

We are in the throes of arctic air just now, with wind chills on the negative side of zero - farenheit!!! My woman is making us stay in our rooms even tho we would like to go out and stretch our legs for a wile. She says it's because I've been sick... a few days ago my ankles swelled up really bad and my feet got very hot and painful. I'm starting to feel better, but She says I mustn't walk around on hard ground. (sigh!) Just 11 more days until we leave for Heaven, I mean Florida. I so wish you could come with us... the whole place is one giant sandbox, with grass over it in most places. When you roll, you get nice warm sand in your hair. Aaaahhh...

nvsally said...

Oh CindyLouWho - can I come to Florida with you? Its been a bit chilly here - but before mom adopted me she lived in Florida and I have always wanted to go there. Please!

Your Fren,

Buddy

CindyLouWho said...

Buddy, you are most welcome to come with us, as is everyone here! I would love nothing more than to arrive Chez Gloria with a contingent of equines and humans.

As to peeing/pooping on the hay... how else is one to convince the tiny-brained humans that the hay has gotten stale?! If one only walks on it, the humans tell us that we can't have any more until we finish what we've got... well a good poop or pee finishes it up just fine.

Oh, Sheaffer, Sally looks like she has doubled her size. Can this possibly be the small ball of fur who came to you last year? The little boy cats have turned out marvelously as well. Our Puma was quite slight and sickly when he came to us. The humans now say they need back braces to pick him up. Cats' growth genes must kick into overdrive when they are rescued...

ponymaid said...

CindyLou, fortunately the dreaded hay prisons seem to be an extreme bad weather back-up system. When there is sideways rain and snow or other awfulness, we are fed from those. The last two days have been somewhat sunny so we have had our hay outside on the fresh snow. MUCH preferable. We still mix it around lavishly but in such a large space it's hard to achieve the same results. Your ankles sound very painful indeed. I wish I could send you something to fix them. Florida sounds like the best solution, especially lying around with sand in your hair, cropping at stray bits of grass.

nvsally, all of us in the Florida sun, drinking fruit concoctions with tiny umbrellas and critiquing the foibles of our hopeless humans. Yes, that would do very nicely.

CindyLou, Sally is a changed feline, as are the two throw-away kitties from the ditch. Sally now has a cat cave affair for the winter, in which her electric pad is installed. She has grown so round she nearly fills it in all directions. She comes out occasionally for pats, snacks and the odd play session and other than that she looks like the Cheshire cat sitting in her igloo.

South Valley Girl said...

Dear Sheaffer:

I was so glad to hear that the hay prison is used only during bad weather - not that you don't have enough of that to go around up there, but at least it isn't year round. Apparently your human does occasionally take pity on you, which is to her credit.

I'm also very glad to hear that Sally has come out of her shell and become a happy, loving member of the family. The traumas these poor little throw-away babies go through in their early years eventually do fade, thank heavens, and it's good to hear that she's found a forever home with Donkeys who love and appreciate her.

I'm about to leave for Winter Break, so I'll wish you and your entire crew a healthy, happy, and stress-free holiday season, and will check back in with you after the New Year.

With much love

Christina / SVG