You may remember that at my last year's party I was forced to wear a tiara, though the woman protested mightily that it was really a small crown. Prevarication, of course, but I knew the truth. This year I insisted on a proper crown - gold, with rubies and emeralds.
It has arrived and on Sunday she and her crafty friend Brenda appeared in the paddock to fit the thing properly. Now, I'm not a jeweller by trade but frankly this object looks suspicious to me. Herself assured me it was pure gold with rare gems but I have my doubts. For one thing, it shouldn't be quite so floppy and for another I think those gems are fakes. AND, would a real crown have something called velcro fastenings? I think not. She wouldn't let me examine it closely so it's hard to say.
It has been whisked off to Brenda's workshop to be made a smaller size and I just wonder, can real crowns be sewn and stapled into shape? I think not. As with last year, I have invited the Queen to drop in for tea if she's in the area on the day and if she does, I'm rubbing this faux crown off on a shrub as soon as her carriage hoves into view.
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18 comments:
Hay Sheaffer - who's beautiful bottom is that in the photo with you lounging in the grass?
So a crown - well I have never seen a donkey wearing a real crown - make sure your woman takes lots of pics!
Your fren,
Sheaffer, this brings to mind something my son said just yesterday about Keil Bay. He said Keil Bay needed a crown since he is The King, and I said no, Keil Bay's Kingness is in his noble face and demeanor.
As is yours!
The crown is mere a symbol devised by men to make up for the lack of nobility in themselves.
Horses and donkeys need nothing of the sort.
Just my very humble opinion, mind you. Spoken as a woman who was just out in the barn scrubbing stall doors (those wet tubs I serve make a huge mess - one I might never truly get a handle on!) while 6 equines ate hay and watched my efforts.
Sheaffer
Wild goings on indeed! I understand the cross you bear, these humans are so random and unreliable. Trying to get them to put words on the ether is nigh to impossible. The shame..we get the wisdom and intelligence..they get the opposable thumb. It has been a whirlwind o f activity here. Emi lady is having all sorts of work done so that the venue is perfect for the day. We managed to escape our paddock last we so that we could tour the grass..I mean grounds. All will be in readiness. We even had small jets buzzing the barn today, perhaps there will be an Air Show in your honour? The barn man came running out of the barn screaming something about "incoming".. shortly thereafter we heard him mumble something about the G20 conference. Speaking of which, have you prepared your speech for the world leaders? I should expect that they are meeting close by, so that they may consult with one as wise as you. I agree with Billie, you require no crown or robes of state. We are somewhat concerned that the barn man may try and colour our manes again. Oh the humiliation. See you in a feww short days.
Regards
Ben
Buddy, indeed that imposing Golden Hind is attached to La Molly herself. She likes to get in touch with her maternal side and stand guard over me whilst I doze in the paddock. Unfortunately she doesn't chase birds...
The woman promises many crown photos on the day.
Billie, my sentiments exactly! And I'll probably have crown-line on my forehead for weeks to come. The woman complains about our wet tubs and the ensuing mess but we feel it is a compliment to her tack room cooking skills if we spread it around liberally.
Ben, I hear that it is all hub and bub at your place. Much excitement here too, the woman is running about, looking confused and carting auction items too and fro, babbling about bake sales and birthday cakes and asking herself where she left her list of things to do. I bore up as best I could with two crazed women jibbering and thrusting garish faux crowns on my head but the stress is beginning to take it's toll. Escape as often as you can and don't look back - something may be gaining on you.
Sheaffer, do you or any of your donkey friends have a weight measurement formula for miniature donkeys?
I am fine-tuning some diet things and trying to hone in on actual poundage, as close as I can get. I have one for the horses that uses height, length, and girth to get what seems to be a very decent estimate of weight. Anyone know of a similar calculation for miniature donkeys?
Billie, after Herself had a wonderful time telling me that measuring my weight would involve aerial mapping and calculation of land mass, she discovered a site called www.minature-donkey-assoc.com that shows a Pythagorean drawing of how to estimate a donkey's weight. We are very secretive about our personal information so you may find it to be a red herring.
Billie, you need to add /worming.htm to that dog's breakfast of an address she gave you.
Hay Sheaffer - life has been not good here lately. Mom just mailed off a card and a letter.
Please know we are on the edge of our seats to what your next adventure may bring.
Your fren,
Buddy, your message made my heart jump. I hope things are not too bad...we think of you often. Please take care of yourselves.
Thank you Sheaffer, and sending you very good thoughts, Buddy!
Billie, the helpful and clever young human who is running the silent auction found this link for you -
(http://www.link.vet.ed.ac.uk/ctvm/Research/DAPR/Training%20Publications/Donkey%20001/Donkeys02.pdf).
Thank you!! I was horrified by the body score condition photos for one and two - to see a donkey that thin is just not right. Sigh. But we are not dealing with that issue here, hence the need for fine-tuning diets, ahem.
Billie - and one more from that delightful young woman. I looked at the photos of those poor, thin donkeys and had to lie down to recover. (http://drupal.thedonkeysanctuary.org.uk/files/donkeys/Nomogram.pdf),
Thank you again - I knew I would find a wealth of knowledge here!
Hay Sheaffer - mom got us a dog - not a big dog as I hopped for - a west highland terrier - he is very cute and runs around my paddock as if it was his. It is nice to have a fren - I do wish he was more that 2 hands high - but he is a friend and a very well behaved fren,
Mom wil email your woman pictures so you can see my new fren.
Your fren,
Billie, you`re very welcome indeed!
Buddy, your own dog! Two hands sounds rather small but I hear these terriers are large personalities in small packages. I`m sure you`ll be able to instruct him in all sorts of useful things. Carrot retrieval, burying tubes of vile vermifuge and so on. Do you think your woman will let you in the house now that he has arrived - I mean, if he`s living in there it seems only fair.
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