Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'm Hurt - Not Surprised - Just Hurt

Why, you ask? Just as my budding career as a naturalist was well launched, off go the humans to that cottage place where they saw what? - all sorts of nature, that's what. On her return the Woman babbled on and on about how I would have loved every minute of it. A cottage made entirely of wood - inside and out (imagine the snack possibilities!), an indoor fire burning device, a lake with no motorized watercraft and six hundred acres of nature in the raw. She is a cruel, cruel woman.

I suppose I should get the subject of THE HAT out of the way. It seems that although generally overcast, the sun made a brief appearance and, having left her headgear behind, the woman decided to craft her own out of the local vegetation. Frankly, I would have been mortified to have been seen with her in that outlandish head-salad. I would have been compelled to consume the whole thing and that would have led to "words". But I digress.

She showed me the photos she took and I must confess, the unhatched loon eggs are my favourite. I don't know why they didn't hatch but surely she could have brought them back for my collectibles shelf. They saw the parent loons and just missed seeing a whole rumble? riot?assembly? of otters. And a beaver. They viewed assorted vegetation, including pitcher plants, which I would have liked to try out as a flask. We're not speaking for now but I have allowed her to post her photos. I mean, why should you be deprived as well? And I need all of you to bear witness to her unmitigated cruelty.

Today she told me they are off to Chicago for the weekend. I'm waiting for my invitation. I have long wished to do the architectural tour and to ascertain for myself if it truly is the windy city. She may not like elevators but I embrace the idea of a vertically moving box that saves all that calorie burning. I know I would adapt to hotel living without hesitation. Jack says that if we are invited he will take the stairs.


billie said...

Sheaffer, I can so see you in a good hotel, riding up to your room, down to the restaurant, visiting briefly with admirers in the lobby... it is harder to imagine you in the city itself, with all the traffic and noise, but then I recall you are adept at driving and are doubtless unflustered by all the human contraptions that whiz about on city streets.

I had our car in the barnyard yesterday unloading some feed bags into the barn, and Rafer Johnson and Redford surrounded the car, then planted themselves right in front of it, blocking my teenaged son who was practicing his driving. They were unflappable.

I am sorry The Woman has already taken off again and now heading to Chicago! I don't know how she can tear herself away from you and Jack. (although I confess I am taking off myself this weekend, so I guess I can't say a word!!)

margaretharvey said...

Fabulous. Just be glad you weren't invited S, roughing it can be tough, especially when you live in the lap of luxury.

ponymaid said...

Billie, the very idea of living in an hotel and never having to go out warms me to the marrow. I believe they inevitably have potted plants in the lobby, which would allow me to graze whilst observing the fellow patrons. R&R are attempting to help your son hone his driving skills - he must let them embark in the vehicle as they see fit so they can advise him correctly.

ponymaid said...

Maggie, Maggie, is that you? Have you found me after all these years? Why, I remember you from the early days when you festooned our pony Daisy with pink bows - but we won't speak of that lapse in your usually exemplary behaviour...It's very nice to see you here and I hope you come by in person to see what a well-rounded donkey I have become.