Thank you for sending two of your humans over yesterday on a mission to improve our so-called lifestyle. You, and they, did your best but Herself is as immoveable as the Great Wall of China when it comes to our dreary, Dickensian, Gulag-like existence.
They walked us down the path, they brought us a whole tub of gummi worms (they thoughtfully brought the Woman flowers but she didn't even taste them). And then, in the most arrogant display of raw power yet, Herself forced our friend Jamie to assault Jack with the dreaded vermifuge while they looked on, distraught and helpless.
As soon as Jack was secured to a fence post, he twigged to the cruel deception and began rearing and body slamming Jamie into the fence. He pursed his lips and flicked the tube on the ground with his tongue. When it was done, he dragged Jamie down the lane in a fit of rage, adding in some impressive bucking and head tossing whilst continuing to body slam him. The guests offered gummi worms as solace and he spat them out with contempt.
Now, I have never minded the dreaded vermifuge and in fact have never even worn a halter for the event, but having seen Jack's violent display, when the woman came at me, as a show of solidarity I shied and backed up at tremendous speed. She pronounced it to be nonsense and before I could blink, I had swallowed the lot. I also spat out my gummi worm. Molly ate the rejected worms with no hesitation whatsoever and pronounced them delicious.
So, Willy, your efforts are appreciated and we very much hope your humans return often, but please don't hold out hope for improvements around here any time soon. She is forcing me to mention that we each got a few gummi worms in our hot dinners tonight but I mention it under duress. It was not any sort of thawing of the ice in her veins, I'm sure, just a moment of absentmindedness. The worm has not turned.