Well, that's what SHE says. SHE says I have a problem with "oral fixation" because I enjoy exploring the textures of anything mouth-sized.
I admit, there was that fine English leather bridle - it was exquisite on the palate. The soft, buttery feel, the essence of leathery goodness and the satisfying recoil off the back molars. My, how she carried on. Then there was the rubber currycomb and the wooden mounting block and the glove with the raised pattern and the book about horse ailments and the cord for the heater thing and the plush animal belonging to a small visitor...each unique and deeply enjoyable in it's own way.
The issue reared it's ugly head again (actually SHE, reared her ugly head again) when she had finished spinning Doc around on the long rope today and cast it aside on the ground. They rode off to practice their - whatever it is they do - so I naturally assumed she had no further use for the rope. I sidled over to assess the target - I mean to casually inspect the object. It was of cotton/leather construction and had a pleasingly pliable feel. In no time I had it clenched firmly between the back molars and was working away with a sawing motion. A feeling of complete and utter bliss swept over me.
SHEAFFERRRRRRR!!! It felt like a bomb had gone off in my ear. She glared down at me from her perch atop Doc. "Youmiserablelittlesneakyungratefuldonkeycriminal". I fled in terror, rope stuck firmly between my clenched teeth. I galloped around, trailing yards of rope until I finally remembered to unclench my teeth. Upon retrieval, it was discovered the rope had substantial - ahem - alterations, but had not been severed completely. She stormed off, muttering threats over which I am sure I could take legal action.
She is particularly peevish because she has purchased "toys" solely for our use and destruction. I simply do not care for them. They are either of an infantile nature or inferior design. The browbeating will continue, I know, but I will soldier on in pursuit of the finer things in life to masticate. As long as this remains a democratic nation, I shall exercise my right to chew freely.