Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Strange and Unpleasant Visitor

Imagine our excitement yesterday when, as we were supervising the woman's paddock cleaning, a large brown box on wheels drove up and the side door flew open. The writing on the side said u p s - obviously some sort of code. There may be a counter-company somewhere called d o w n s, such are the mysterious ways of the world of commerce. Molly and I were delighted, assuming that a new equine friend waited inside. Molly galloped over through the mud, bellowing and gronking loudly. I followed at a more stately pace, making small huffing sounds of welcome.

A human, clad from head to toe in brown, leapt back onto the step of the vehicle. He somehow assumed that we had no braking ability and would crash through the fence, annihilating him in the process. The woman told him that we almost always got ourselves stopped in time. He sidled over, holding out a small cardboard box and a strange pad and pen device. Molly seized the side of the box and the woman had to wrestle it away from her. The woman used the pen-like device to scratch on the virtual pad and Molly seized that, the result being that the woman's signature came out looking like hieroglyphics.

I examined the brown-clad human's kneecaps through the fence. "Hey", he said, "is this some kinda donkey or goat thing? It has a weird shape." I was stunned. I didn't even know the creature and he was casting aspersions on my appearance and species?! Frankly, he was no conformation-winning specimen himself - toed-in, pig-eyed and a bad mover, amongst other flaws. Another of his plastic devices made ringing noises and Molly tried to grab that. As she gave him her classic Molly-lip-curl expression , he used it to take her photo "to show the guys back at the plant."

With that, he reinserted himself in the u p s conveyance and sped off. Such a disappointment on all levels. No new equine friend, no gifts for us, and a snarky stranger suddenly thrust into our sphere. How utterly typical. I wish we HAD crashed through the fence and trampled him underfoot.

11 comments:

billie said...

As you know, I am appalled by this kind of behavior on the part of humans and am terribly sorry you had to deal with this rude person!

Trampling would have been kind!

Dougie Donk said...

To focus on the positive side - this unappreciative specimen WAS delivering something .... perhaps it was a supply of Stud Muffins??

dogma said...

Oh Sheaffer, we feel we are failing you! We crossed all of our legs and wished mightly you would get another male companion. voila-- the male cat appeared ( kinda like a Harry Potter episode).So that wasn't quite right so we wished even harder and voila- the UPS fellow. Well, back to the drawing board for us. Like Dougei stated, hope the delivery wa something yummy for you!

ponymaid said...

billie, we are kindred spirits. I know you addressed this problem on your blog at virtually the same time. The lack of civility in the modern world is absolutely shocking. Really! I wouldn't walk into his home and begin firing off scathing personal comments, although the temptation would be great.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, sadly the parcel was from somewhere called "Steel City" and contained a hose clamp. I know this because the wretched creature announced it in his grating voice. Molly did give it a good shaking but she said it had a greasy, metallic smell that wasn't promising at all.

ponymaid said...

Dogma, I know! We are in Limbo here, waiting for someone or something to show up. There is much mumbling and whispered consultation but Herself is giving away nothing. I know our metal box on wheels will return from hibernation soon and I hope that is a sign of an impending arrival. I've been trying to talk to the local rabbits but they're too nervous to hold a proper conversation.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - how dare he speak about you that way - too bad he wasn't closer - you could have hoofed him good. Our UPS guy was here a little while ago - always calls mom Hon - geesh. He did bring my supplements - so I let it go - this time!

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

Buddy, this is quite confusing. Why would he call your woman "Hon"? To the best of my knowledge it means "Honourable" - so perhaps she is secretly a member of the British aristocracy? How exciting - she will certainly be attending the royal nuptials. Keep us posted. I can think of no other explanation.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - you are so funny. Mom's last name is Spencer and she was very upset she didn't go to Charles and Diana's wedding years ago - figured her invite got losted in the mail. But she is not honorable as in royal family. I think Hon - means Honey - Whinney whinney.

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

Buddy, how forward of a perfect stranger to use such an appellation with your woman! Good grief, what's next? Anarchy, that's what.

Fred 'n Ginger said...

Smokey's Famous!!
Sheaffer - must go to Equine Canada Recreation section to see your friend Smokey, courtesy of the Woman and the Fat Lady's friend, Maggie.
http://www.equinecanada.ca/recreation/index.php?option=com_content&view=section&id=3&Itemid=556&lang=en

Note - we are concerned about the absence of donkeys on this site. So what are we? Chopped liver? Equines unite!


p.s. I guess Anne's famous too...