Thursday, March 31, 2011

I'm Exhausted

We haven't had a minute's peace lately. Herself is on a ridiculous spring cleaning binge and is frantically raking and sweeping and hauling and generally shoving us out of the way every two minutes so she can clean under our feet. She refers to this annual ritual as "Cleaning the Augean Stables". Both cats, the dog and Molly and I are supervising every move, but is she grateful? Hah! She merely glares and asks why it is that one species out of five is doing all the work. When we try to help she "throws a connipshun" (Jack's words) and tells us not to chew on implement handles. Penny skulked off and ate something disgusting that she found in the ditch and Sally fell out of a tree chasing a beige, striped rodent but other than that things are rather quiet today. Jack has become the Renaissance donkey at the sanctuary, lending a hoof in all matters and acquiring all sorts of useful skill sets. He has helped the electrical man so diligently that he is making him a certificate that reads "Jack of All Trades". We have been promised photographic evidence of the presentation. Jack got his blue winter coat off yesterday and had himself such a vigourous roll in the dust that he looked like a dervish flipping from side to side. Then he went off to instigate some rasslin with the much younger Simon and O'Sullivan.

22 comments:

AutumnSkyRanch said...

Oh my goodness, Sheaffer. I'm sorry you are exhausted, but cleaning one's abode is very important as it also cleanses the mind of cobwebs and dust at the same time. Perhaps it's not the same for donkeys, I'm not sure. I know Harry and Gunny also supervise when their pen is cleaned of wet straw, hay and such. Then the chicken inspectors come in and rearrange the straw while cleaning out all the bugs. Chicken inspectors are very helpful on a farm. Would you like to have some chickens to help you? They can also ride on your back and pick bugs or seeds out of your hair. Very useful little critters! Something for you to consider.

Calm, Forward, Straight said...

It is a darn shame that your offers of assistance have been rebuffed Sheaffer. And that the spring cleaning has provided mild irritation rather than much needed diversion.

I am anxiously awaiting photos of Jack's (well deserved) certificate. Apparently he has landed himself somewhere that a donkey's helpful efforts on behalf of humans are appreciated. I suppose you will have to live vicariously through Jack in this department... good on him!

billie said...

Sheaffer, that one lone patch of snow is very encouraging that perhaps? maybe? spring is FINALLY on its way to you. We here had a reversal of fortune and all our sweet sunshine took a hike. Rafer and Redford have been pouting for several days now, as there is no dust in existence with all the cold, wet rain we have had.

This morning I had a client in the tack room and both donkeys crowded in, demanding to be part of the session. Rafer isn't used to sharing his role of co-therapist so it was a bit of a touchy time until I managed to move us all to the barn aisle where everyone could have some "space."

Even the feline cowboy, Dickens E. Wickens, has turned into a grumpy gus. He has been ranging from hay pile to hay pile, insisting that the equines move off their hay at his command. Those who don't get a big smack on the muzzle. (did he take a clinic with Pat Parelli when I wasn't looking?)

We are all awaiting tomorrow when it looks like the sun will return and hopefully dry things out around here!

Tell The Woman she must allow you to assist - a bored donkey mind is a dangerous thing! Best to give you lots of freedom to help and take charge, I say..

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - 85 degrees and sunny here today - with more like weather coming for the weekend! Lots of dirt to roll in and its nice and warm - oh Sheaffer - you better get down here - the weather is just equine perfect!

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

AutumnSkyRanch, I would love to have some of these chicken creatures in my sphere of operations. They sound delightful. They could help with the cleaning and, as you say, perhaps occasionally perch on my back and do personal grooming. The woman rather rudely says there's room up there for several chickens and their entire extended families.

ponymaid said...

Calm,Forward,Straight, it's nice to see that some humans recognize a genuine effort at helpfulness. At least Jack is receiving the recognition he deserves for toiling selflessly from sun-up til sun-down. I wonder though, once he has his electricals and goat management certification if he will still have time to take visitors through. I may have to go over to help him.

ponymaid said...

billie, I simply don't understand how the sun can be shining, the robins singing and there can still be patches of ice that appear to be fossilized. There should not be something the size and consistency of the Columbia Ice Field in my paddock in April. I had no idea Rafer was taking such an interest in therapy. I think you're safe to take an extended leave-of-absence whilst leaving all in his capable hoofs. Now Dickens...perhaps he's a tad too paws-on with his aversion therapy...I will continue to help out here, as unappreciated as I am, simply because (and you are absolutely correct) an idle donkey mind is a terrible thing.

Dougie Donk said...

Sheaffer, you should be eternally grateful that your woman's attentions are restricted to the fixtures & fittings.

We are also seing the first (long overdue) signs of spring & my woman has resorted to clipping all the remaining winter coats from my companions and the PULLING out their thick winter manes!!!!

She says they all look "very smart" & ready for the competition season. We think it is an injustice & I am just grateful that as a humble donkey, I merit nothing more than a good brushing every day

ponymaid said...

Buddy, we're getting there, but not hastily, I assure you. Today I had a nap in the sand area and although it was rather chilly on the fundament it was nice toasting my top side in the sun.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, the overhaul and spiffing up of your horse friends sounds rather alarming. Thank your lucky stars you don't have to endure the grooming machinations of your woman. Tell us, in which sorts of things do your horse friends compete? I thought possibly spelling bees and Molly thinks weight lifting...

Buddy said...

Oh Sheaffer - 92 degrees here today - I still have alot of my winter coat and I was sweating like a pig today - what happened to my spring??

Your Fren,

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
you and sir jack must learn to keep a large object in between yourselves and the woman thing, like a barn or the ups truck etc .. that way you could grab the box or whatever came into view first and have at it without interference from the woman thing ..
ask sir jack about proper prior planning.. LOL ..
keep it up ..
Your buddy and compatriot in ctime,
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
that was supposed to be CRIME .. bad keyboarding skills .. UGH ..
Mr Gale

Dougie Donk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dougie Donk said...

"Dougie.... Tell us, in which sorts of things do your horse friends compete? I thought possibly spelling bees and Molly thinks weight lifting..."

A spelling bee would be FAR too intellectual for Dennis; who likes to think he is back on the racecourse while leaping cross-country fences at great speed.In all other activities, he just works at being a pest!

As a benevolent leader, Flynn willingly participates in whatever the woman asks of him (cross-country, dressage, showjumping & hacking.) He does try to expend minimum effort; so weightlifting would be out.

Tammy could do both of your suggested activities; but as an elderly lady, she restricts herself to an occassional veteran showing class, where she can impart her wisdom to younger equines. But largely, she just stays home & educates me - I am very lucky.

ponymaid said...

Buddy, I just hope your spring is on it's way here...

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale!! Where have you been? We've missed your wit and wisdom. You see, your good advice is already coming into play - I kept something between myself and the Woman all day. She's very suspicious and keeps asking me what I'm hiding. Jack is now the CEO of the sanctuary and answers to no one - when you reach his age you can fashion your world as you wish without fear of repercussions.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, this all sounds like rather a lot of exercise. Over hill and dale and back again...is there no bus they can take? Very wise of you to remain put and watch the to-ing and fro-ing with a somewhat suspicious eye. Tammy sounds rather like Jack but with less need for constant busyness - I suspect she never offers to rassle you...

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,

I too, am exhausted but for different reasons. In my last post I said that I would be reporting from the Donkey Sanctuary where we would be staying until Bert, my mom was feeling better. Since arriving I have been helping out with the aged and special needs donkeys. That is a difficult and tiring job. My mom had to go to the Vet College to be looked after so I was left alone without her for the first time ever in all my 11 years. I am also exhausted from worrying about her health. It turns out she had a stone in her bladder which the vets zapped and then removed the pieces one at a time. I gather it was quite a painful procedure but my mom was well behaved throughout the ordeal. She is a very private donkey and doesn't like people messing with her personal parts but "what is a girl to do???" I can hardly wait for her to come back to the sanctuary to recover and then we can go home. I am homesick and miss my giant warmblood friend.

Your Fan,

Willy

ponymaid said...

Willy, this is, on the whole, very good news. I can't even contemplate what smashing an internal stone must feel like - like being run over by the metal box on wheels, I imagine. I know your stint at the sanctuary has been difficult but you must remember how stoical and comforting you have been in your role as a medical man. Your esteemed mother will no doubt be back to her usual charming self in no time and then you will be home, relating your many adventures to your large horse friend. Ply yourself with Stud Muffins to keep up your strength.

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
Can I ask you and Sir Jack to let me know as soon as your friends book is available in the snack format? I REALLY want to get one for my two grandchildren, but I am NOT going to get them a Kindle thing that will just break right in the middle of reading this GREAT book..
PLEASE let me know!!
Mr Gale
P> S> I am glad your new tactic is working, see, you now have the edge on the woman thing, she might begin to give you stud muffins just to be able to keep you in sight more.... would that not be GREAT?? Keep on truckin BUD..

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, billie has promised to let us know when her book comes out in the edible version. I feel sure it will be pleasantly filling with just the right balance of flavours on the palate.