Freezer Geezer

That's what the woman has taken to calling me. She stole it from some televised presentation. I must admit, it's very much the way I feel these days. She drags me down the lane to retreive the mail and that's the extent of my movement until she lets us back in our rooms.

I believe spring must be stirring somewhere because the night time noise levels from the wildlife have reached deafening proportions. The coyotes convene nightly right behind our driveshed. I wouldn't mind a five minute outburst but they go on and on, working themselves into a state of delerium. Sometimes the woman races out of the house in her night attire and shrieks at them while hurling chunks of ice in their general direction. It works very well and they slink off to party elsewhere. I'm not sure who's more shrill and grating on the nerves, but I rather think it's the woman.

Now the enormous owl has returned to add his two cents worth to the din. He only says one thing "Whooooooo, whoooooo, whooooo?" You'd think by now he'd have figured out the name of who or whatever it is he's seeking. On moonlit nights he casts a shadow like that of a flying dinosaur. All this acreage and he has to sit in the one big tree in front of the barn and talk to himself for at least an hour. The woman thinks he has something to do with the disappearance of my shy friend. Of course TJ is just itching to get outside and "kick some butt" as he so boorishly puts it. Hmmm. I wonder if an owl can carry a mini mule far, far away from here? We can only wait and hope. I must ecourage TJ to take a midnight constitutional.

I am awaiting news of my standing in the race for the leadership of the donkey party. I am quite willing to don a turban if that will motivate the voters. No matter what, I can't see myself in a pant suit like that of the Clinton woman. Too frightening.