That's what the woman called us today. I've decided to take it as a compliment. We're quite tired tonight because we had an unusually busy day, but when there's supervising to be done, we are unstinting in our duties.
First a big truck backed down our driveway to fill up a large metal cylindrical holding tank with a gassy substance that heats the house. Pah, they could just back Doc up to the filler pipe after a day of grazing and have it full to bursting in minutes. The man stands there for awhile with a hose connected to the top and while he's standing there he tries to make friends with us. We like to vary our routine and sometimes rush to the fence and frisk him all over and ask to see what's in the hose. Today we used our other routine where we pretend he's a dangerous predator. We rummaged in the snow at a distance and snorted and gawked at him when he spoke to us. Most gratifying because it makes him very frustrated and he says "C'mon you guys, don't you remember me?" We roll our eyes and snort louder and when he's finished and is walking back to the truck we say "Wait come back, it was all a joke!" And then we gallop down the fenceline after the truck to show there are no hard feelings.
Then things got even more exciting. We had a thaw today (the humans refer to it as the calm before the atomic wedgie nature will spring on us tonight). I assume they mean the freezing rain. A road crew came along with all sorts of large machines and began doing things to the sides of the road. These machines make loud, gratifying beeping noises whenever they back up, which is often. We hung over the fence and tried to give the humans advice but they ignored us. They communicate solely by shouting to each other. Things like "Backupbackupbackup, WHOA Dougie, you're gonna put 'er in the ditch!" and "Put the boots to 'er Jimmy, you're losin' the a** end." Obviously some sort of code. Doc was very nearly green with envy because it's just the sort of career he dreams about. Then they saw TJ and said "What the hell is THAT?" I was just savouring the moment when they saw me and said "Lookit old Eeyore, hey Eeyore, you been puttin' away the 24's pretty good!" I gave them a withering stare and departed for the barn, their raucous laughter following me. I will ignore all future road crews and focus entirely on the gas man.
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8 comments:
Hi Sheaffer,
I just want to say how bad I felt for you when the roadcrew made those rude remarks about your waistline. My mom and I have often heard negative comments about our physical attributes and it really hurts our feelings. I don't think most people realize how sensitive donkeys are about their body images. Our human tells us to ignore such cruel remarks and just 'to love the skin we are in'. She said she had heard that phrase on TV. We have a camera in the barn for monitoring animals that are not feeling well but we do not have a TV. If next winter is as bad as this one I think I will request a TV for our suite so we can while away the hours watching the soaps etc. as the snow falls, the wind blows and the rain pours.
Your fan,
Willy
Shaeffer, it is obvious to me that the road crews don't make enough money to even go to school, thus the "Eyore" comments from a book their mothers read TO them (they are NOT smart enough to read)....someone THAT stupid has NO place trying to evaluate the equine form at all, never mind the eloquence of the evolved Donkey form!! write them off, and stick with the Gas man for sure. Maybe you can get TJ a job pulling their trucks and machines out of ditches, leaving HIM occupied while YOU can train the Gas man to bring you treats and tea in a nice thermos that you can share!! Gotta PLAN this stuff out so you are ready when the chance arrives....always be ready and able!!
Mr Gale
P S Hope the cosmic wedgie wasn't too bad. let us know....LOL....
My mom really likes the name Sidewalk Supervisor. She says that's what I am. Even though I'm a horse!
Stick with the Gas man. Road crews are just not as civilised as a fine Donkey as yourself. I think you look rather dashing!
Thank goodness for the support of my friends. I've been brooding about the barbed comments from that crew of road-rudies and hearing from my friends has cheered me up no end. Yesterday the others went down by the road because they were back but I stayed up by the barn.
They've got some nerve critiquing me. All of them look like they've put away a few too many 24's, which it turns out is some reference to beer. I will take Willy's advice to heart and love the well-rounded skin I'm in. Mr. Gale, I will work at bringing the gas man further on-side and encouraging him to share his lunch. And delightfulr, being called dashing is most soothing to my frayed self-image. I would make the trek down the paddock today if we weren't in the throes of another storm (obviously the atomic wedgie the humans feared).
It sure sounds as if the gas man has it all over the "road-rudies!" He would probably be more than willing to share his lunch with you, Sheaffer...perhaps you should try the head-tilt move the next time he pays a visit. It works here!
A few years ago we attended "Field Days of the Past," complete with ear-splitting tractor pulls, antique machinery, logging equipment, that kind of thing. I carefully dressed Muddy in his pack saddle and we took off to do some exploring among the many noisy but interesting exhibits. We made it across the bridge over a river (lots of deep breaths for that one) and spent some time wandering around the rodeo. Low and behold, one of the rodeo clowns turns to see us and begins to laugh uproariously at my Muddy boy dressed to the nines in his pack saddle. I simply said, "What are YOU laughing at? Just look at yourself in that silly costume!" Muddy and I then moved on to more appreciative bystanders, shared a snowcone, and returned to our metal box on wheels after negotiating the bridge (and many children's strollers) in reverse.
Oh, I almost forgot! Violet is a lovely feline (if that is possible). Our resident barn cat, Boots, has been caught napping on the bales of hay. When ousted from her bed, she has to be quick to make it through the donkey living room unscathed. Little wonder they have nine lives!
Shaeffer, that is a cute picture of your nemesis that just got up on the front page, but might I ask, what the H#$*& is wrong with his ears? it appears that he REALLY got short changed in the ears department....you might be an old furface, but at least you have MAGNIFICENT EARS, as any truly evolved equine should!! You might point that fact out to him the next time he gets mouthy with you....
Mr Gale
Gale, what Muddy experienced was the bigoted attitude that the unenlightened still exhibit. It's a sad day when a clown scoffs at a well turned out donkey. I find it most offensive and plan to deal with when I become leader of the Donkey Party.
As to TJ's ears, I point out their "short"comings at every opportunity. He just laughs like a machine gun and says "Them things on yer head look like big ole fur slippers!" It's never ending.
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