Thursday, October 23, 2008

Don't Worry, We're Doing Fine

The woman's heaves has turned into some sort of super-heaves and she has become a revolting sight. She coughs up unmentionable things and yesterday her eyes become protruberant and red and began oozing hideous yellow matter. She's been to a vet, so we think she's just sick but we have an exorcist on call just in case. Until she stops all that honking and snorting, we're keeping a safe distance.

I must admit, she does know how to prioritize. The one thing she has continued to do is to see to all our needs and our rooms are freshly made up as usual before she staggers back to her pallet. Today she thought we were still in the lush paddock but we had sidled back up behind the barn to sunbathe. When she wheezed off with the wheelbarrow, we saw she had left behind some interesting objects by the fence.

We know she has some something edible in her pockets because she keeps popping these small paper-wrapped discs into her mouth. Her jacket was hanging on the gate post so I trawled through her pockets and we began sampling. I had the wrappers off in no time so Jack wouldn't choke and we began our work. The first ones were quite pleasant, the same fruit flavour of one of our wormers, the second were positively revolting and tasted like something used to cure splints. We went back to the first type and finished those. Then we examined the small box that contains the thin paper squares she keeps holding to her nose and honking into. They taste of nothing in particular but are linked together in an intriguing chain. Pull on one and the next one magically appears. We took turns removing those until it looked like we had been caught in a snowstorm of immense flakes. Her bulgy red and yellow eyes appeared over the fence "Gahh whadareyoudoig " she rasped with what is left of her voice. "Geddout"! We got out as fast as we could, leaving her in a shambles of wrappers and white nose blowing papers.

Jack says that when humans blow into the white paper squares, they are actually blowing out their brains. He makes a good point. Her modest intellect has certainly ebbed since she has had this ailment. My great fear is that she will become a roarer and drive us all to distraction.

8 comments:

billie said...

Oh, the poor woman. I speak from experience that keeping the barn while sick is VERY difficult. Here's hoping she gets back to her normal self very soon!

Please tell Jack that the nose-blowing brain loss explains a lot about us humans.

It was so nice of you to come visit my blog today, Sheaffer! I have finally managed to get a new post done with photos of the eventful meeting of two young donkeys who I believe both aspire to the greatness you exemplify here.

Please come over and see them when you get a chance:

camera-obscura-billie@blogspot.com

I wish I knew how to make that into a link, but alas, I have done too much nose-blowing in my life! :)

billie said...

And whoops - that's not supposed to be like an email address with the @ - just a dot!

Perhaps young Redford will decide to study software engineering and he can take over the internet issues for me.

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
You and Mr Jack must inform the woman that if she had stayed home to provide you with hoers derves and treats instead of going off on an unnecessary "Vacation", she would not have gotten the heaves and would not need the papers to blow her brains out in! Tell her that a mild honey tea with a double shot of Jack Daniels in it would be great to share with you and Mr Jack, and might even make her feel better..smile....
Hang in there guys..
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
on afterthought, a bit of nice mint would also help the tea, the aroma might open her nose.
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

I wrote some more things on your blog yesterday but they evaporated into thin air. At least with parchment and quill you knew where you stood. You need to have those two heroic and handsome donkey heads cast as bronze sculptures - is Degas still in his horse phase? I was so pleased to see my portrait in Rafer's stall that the blood rushed to my head and I needed another of those cough discs. Your boys do you proud.

Mr. Gale, although my first allegiance is to Jack, I've been keeping an eye on HER from a safe distance. She is drinking those tea concoctions and also, unbelieveably, steaming her head like a Christmas Pudding. It hasn't helped her appearance one bit. Now she has a giant steamed head with no brains inside. Tut tut.

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
The question IS, DID SHE SHARE THE TONIC WITH YOU AND MR JACK?
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, she was very selfish. I think she may still be a bit miffed about us raiding her pockets and eating the anti-cough discs. No tonic for us.

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer and Mr Jack,
we will have to correct this TRAVESTY..I will send a bottle of Jack Daniels 101 your way as soon as I can devise a way to make sure that the the woman and man there don't purloin it for their own use....I may just need to ride dicey up there and we can all SHARE it together..
Mr Gale