Saturday, February 7, 2009

Sign Of The Times

Finally, steps are being taken at Molly's winter barn to limit the amount and variety of food gifts from her multitude of admirers. She is utterly shameless and bats her long eyelashes and makes gutteral begging sounds and tosses her platinum forelock and foodstuffs magically appear and are thrust through the bars. It's utterly despicable.

The woman drew up a rudimentary sign advising Molly's admirers not to feed the portly pony pig and pinned it to her door. It has caused sadness and dismay amongst her following but seems to be doing the job. A male human who lives at the barn studied the sign and decided it could be upgraded to something more, ummm, professional looking. He did a stellar job and I had the woman photograph it for me. As usual, her lack of talent in the area of photography is plain to see, but will give you a general idea. I do not know of the human females Jenny Craig and Kirstie Alley, but appreciate their help in limiting Molly's calories.

On the home front, Sally is now spending most of her time playing very vigourously. She has thorougly destroyed her baler twine toys so the woman appeared with a hideous, bilious green toy called, according to the label, Marty Mouse. Marty was hung from the door handle by a piece of twine around his neck - gruesome but highly appealing to Sally. When the woman returned there was a green leg and bits of ragged green fabric scattered around the run-in. The rest of Marty had disappeared. After feeding us, the woman stepped into the run-in and there was a much reduced Marty, a mere shadow of his former self. Sally had put him in the doorway as a gift. The woman appeared to be speechless at the magnitude of Sally's generosity.

The lesser Marty is back in the noose looking like a green, multiple amputee, Sally is working at reducing him to nothing but threads. She is so full of the pure joy of being a young cat that she is leaping out from behind doors and threatening to swat our legs. Yesterday Jack had pretend amnesia and casually walked into the tack room. The woman ejected him immediately and Sally leapt from her bed and assisted by swatting his hind legs as he departed. It appears she is a cat who will brook no nonsense in her sphere of operations.

8 comments:

billie said...

Sheaffer, if Molly has managed to position herself as Jenny Craig's new spokespony, she will now get tons more attention than ever! And every oz. she loses will bring her that much more. What a savvy gal she is! Prepare yourself for the paparazzi!

Sally is obviously enjoying a second kittenhood! I'm so glad she has a wonderful home where she can live among such distinguished company and have the woman supply her with mice that don't leave those little pellets everywhere.

We did have a few gnats, but everyone here was nearly drunk with the warmth yesterday. They stood in the sun, meandered up and down the front field, and rolled many times. Rafer insists that he roll in every spot the horses roll in, so he was a very busy donkey.

Gale said...

Sheaffer, I do believe that Sally has come out of her shell and, given the demise of Marty Mouse, will soon be taking on larger prey. Cats under the influence of catnip should be handled with care!

Molly's new stall sign is great! Probably best not to let anyone tell her what it says, but I guess she'll soon figure out that it has something to do with begging and looking cute. You didn't teach her the head tilt trick, did you?

Here's a brief summary on our little rescue donkey, Amy. She was found in a herd of 16 donkeys that were surrendered to Animal Control (4 were found dead from starvation, one of which was Amy's mother). She came to live with us about 10 days ago, is getting special feed (which she likes), antibiotics, and ulcer medication (which she does not like). Amy can see and hear our other donkeys, but cannot be with them just yet, so she's lonely, of course. Walks in the yard are her favorite thing, and she leads quite well considering her lack of handling. If all goes well, she'll get her first vaccinations in another week and soon be able to join the others. She wears a blanket when it's cold and the other donkeys watch with intense curiousity (and a bit of jealousy) as she grazes in the yard. ("Yard time" is considered "throne time" here.) We're careful not to let the others see Amy getting carrot pieces; they wouldn't speak to me if they saw that!

All the survivors have been adopted, or so I've been told by Animal Control. There are so many unfortunate donkeys throughout the world. Go hug your woman! And tell Sally, Jack, Penny, and all your friends how lucky they are.

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
Amy has put on 12 lbs in the last week, and is looking better..at least she is looking foreward to the next day now..the 12 lbs was measured with a very inaccurate weight tape, but it looks about right to me anyway. I am so glad that Sally is starting to come around too....now you and Mr Jack will need to plan around the Woman AND the cat when planning a foray into the tack room....logistics..what FUN !!With your advanced intellect and Mr Jack's superior experience, it should be a great game and way to wile away the winter doldrums....have fun!!
Ms Molly is a GREAT Icon for Jenny Craig, but I hope that she does not get depressed with the lack of foodstuffs coming her way.
Have fun there guys..if you can't laugh, why bother????
Mr Gale

Buddy said...

Why can't I see the sign?

Glad to hear the Sally is doing so well and becoming more active. Mom feeds a couple of strays on the front porch and one if pregnant - guess we are gonna have kittens soon.

Please tell Molly I send my love!

Your fren,

Nachodonkey said...

Sheaffer, I myself saw the dreadful sign. Molly was quite interested in it and was trying very hard to read it upside down...or perhaps trying to eat it? I didn't have the heart to read it to her so I just gave her nose a rub and left it at that.

Apparently your woman saw pictures of Mr. Nacho and thinks he is a handsome donkey and quite likes the crescent moon on his forehead. As well as being quite cute, he is becoming very helpful. My daughter was trying to trim her horse Ti's feet but she couldn't get him to stand still. On further investigation she saw Nacho with lead rope in mouth booking it down the paddock. Ti is a hefty half, thoroughbred half percheron so budging him was no easy task.

Rumour has it that a birthday party is in the works??

Enjoy the nice weather. At the risk of being a pessimist, I think we are being set up for something big.

ponymaid said...

Billie, the woman is in a classic Catch 22 situation - whatever she does draws more attention to La Molly. Molly just looks smug. We have high hopes for Sally's rodent patrol talents, which she continues to hone on the ever-diminishing Marty Mouse. Rafer rolled in actual dirt? That lucky, lucky donkey. Someday I too will roll in dirt ...

Gale, the frightening thing is that Marty is catnip free. The mind boggles. And yes, I must modestly admit I taught Molly the fetching head tilt. She has improved it even further. We have found baby Amy's story heartbreaking. Four donkeys dead in a field and sixteen others starving? There are some very strange humans in this world. We are so glad to hear of Amy's progress - soon she will be a happy baby donkey tearing up the spring earth with the others. I am sending her some of my legendary patience. She must be strong and determined to have hung on til she got to your donkey haven. Please keep us updated.

Mr. Gale, 12 lbs. sounds very impressive for a starving baby donkey. The woman suggested I send Amy some of my excess lbs. and feels I could have her up to normal weight with just one donation. I would if I could. Sally is so chock-full of energy and the sheer joy of living that she is virtually flying around the barn. She extends constant invitations to Penny to play but Penny is turning her down so far. The woman has to drag twine around and wiggle bits of hay so Sally feels she has someone else onboard the play mobile. Ha. Good place for the woman.

Buddy, ask your woman to show you the sign. Molly feels that if you see just how dastardly it is, you will rush to her rescue. Are you preparing for your role as uncle to a new batch of felines? We equines are generally excellent at cat care. Just watch those pins in their feet.

Nacho, Molly would gladly devour the sign if she could reach it. She knows it has something to do with her restricted food intake. She is most displeased and almost "accidentally" pitched the woman off sideways today in the arena. "Oops", she said, "my bad, heeheehee". I sense a vendetta in the making. The woman says Nacho is strikingly handsome and appears keenly intelligent. Of course he is - that's how he hijacked a horse six times his size - it takes sheer force of will to do that. I'm sure he has many, many more surprises in store for you. I have heard whispered rumours about some birthday "do" for self but am not able to pry more information out of the woman - let me know what you hear. I'm a little worried about the flames on top of the cake thing but will wear safety goggles this year.

Nachodonkey said...

Sally sounds like a ton of fun. My children, when they were small of course, went "fishing" for kittens. A longe whip is dangled over their heads and wiggled around. Cats can't resist trying to catch the popper. Points given for each "catch". Great fun for all.

Sorry to let the cat out of the bag as it were about the party rumour. I have not heard any details but will keep you informed if I hear any more.

I once saw a very elegent event in the forest beside the pond. Several horse drawn carriages arrived to a wonderful picnic set up. Tables had been brought in with dazzling white table cloths. Champagne and long stemmed glasses were on top of the tables with a picnic basket at the side. I can only dream of what they contained. Perhaps your birthday could be celebrated in a similar fashion with local donkeys in attendance? I know of two who would love to come. Of course, care would have to be taken with candles...don't want to risk a forest fire!!!

Gale - I am at a loss for words. It is far beyond my understanding how people can be so callous. Please keep us posted on little Amy's progress.

ponymaid said...

Nacho, that is how I have always envisioned a civilized celebration. Not plastic forks and plates and unidentifiable "juice-like" drinks. I wonder if herself can make the connection...I have both ears to the ground to pick up any rumbling on the birthday/garden party front.