A Reprieve - For Now

It would seem that Jason Owens, the donkey-roping magnate, has bowed to overwhelming pressure and called off the championship of donkey roping to be held today in Van Horn, Texas. Not because he has changed his mind about the ethical or moral nature of the event but because so much attention has been drawn to the planned roping that local authorities decided to shut it down, on this occasion anyway. Owens himself, as well as Larry Simpson, editor of the Van Horn Advocate, are of the mind that a slew of meddling animal rights activists have infringed on Owens right to do as he wishes with the donkeys he claims to have rescued from slaughter. Owens rationale and touching tale of saving herds of wild donkeys is as full of holes as swiss cheese.

As a self-proclaimed showman and event organizer, surely Mr. Owens can replace this travesty with something else. I suggest he and Mr. Simpson and any of their cronies who wish to help out, hire some of those donkey costumes available at select stores. Once in the suit, they could have fake horns placed on their heads and be given a head start out of the roping chute, with the aid of a cattle prod, if necessary. Mr. Owens assures us that the real donkeys undergo only 31 seconds of stress per roping so the humans shouldn't be too bothered by being yanked off their feet by a lasso and stretched out on the ground as the audience cheers wildly.

Although a firm believer in the traditional quill and quire, I must admit that this world-wide web business can be quite useful in rallying support for a cause like this. We must remain vigilant, however, these donkeys are not out of danger yet.