Thursday, January 31, 2008

Foot Care Day

Six weeks of winter has crept by, signaling the return of our foot man, an event I very much enjoy. The woman has been nearly paralyzed with worry about how TJ would take this return. This is quite tiresome as it means she isn't properly focused on my wants and needs.

Shortly before his arrival, she gave TJ some sort of powder to help him relax and put us all in our stalls to with some hay. Although it made TJ somewhat more relaxed (ie. brought him down to warp speed) he was quite alert when the foot man walked in the barn. I have known this foot man all my life and I know he has the patience of Job and the strength of ten, so I was interested to see the outcome of their second meeting. He stroked TJ everywhere and even when TJ threw himself on the ground and in the air, the man just kept reassuring him, until finally TJ gave him a foot. I was quite annoyed with all the fuss and broke into full voice a few times but was told quite rudely by the woman to "button it". TJ had all four feet done and by that time he and the foot man were both quite winded and rather warm. The silly woman has given herself a migraine worrying about the whole thing. Pahh! TJ must learn that I am the central figure in this barn and his histrionics will not change that.

Speaking of nonsense, the weather is being utterly ridiculous. Yesterday we had violent winds - the dog had her mini-horse blanket on and the wind blew up the back of it and carried her down the driveway sideways. She looked like a small sailboat, tacking against the gale. Tomorrow we are to have a monstrous snow storm. Deep snow bogs me down and allows TJ to extract what remains of my winter coat. Mr. Gale has recommended something called WHOA!, a spray-on product that acts as mule repellant. I have instructed the woman to go out and search for it immediately. I have hopes of someday finding a product that will sound a large air horn the second TJ makes contact with my person - maybe it could also coat him with mace or pepper spray. Knowing TJ, he drinks the stuff for breakfast and comes back for seconds.

5 comments:

robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, this whole blog needs to be published in a book (Hardbound) version! I KNOW I could sell a few hundred copies of it at the Old Dominion Draft Horse and Donkey shows and meetings! Blogs are great for updated often info, but if TJ hits the wrong button....POOF.... it would be GONE....WHAT A WASTE of GREAT MATERIAL !!!! It would be a bestseller for sure....Tell your Woman that I will subsidize the project....Your latest is absolutely hysterical, I could not read the whole thing at one time because I was laughing so hard my sides hurt....kinda like a TJ attack....You have an absolute talent for describing these situations, and THAT should be in a book for posterity....
THINK ABOUT IT !!!!
Mr Gale
PS. You won't need the foghorn if you get the WHOA....TJ's scream will be louder than any foghorn I have ever heard, I assure you!!

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, you are too, too kind. I so appreciate your support of my scribblings. The woman has been pursuing the publisher angle with nothing to show for it so far. She spoke to BJ at The Brayer magazine but hasn't heard back. She also spoke to a magazine publisher here in Ontario who has promised us some leads. I suppose the last resort is self-publishing, but alas, we are both without experience in that area - and I do have a tendency to absent-mindedly snack my way through piles of paper. She also wants to have tee shirts made up with my likeness on them and featuring one of my pearls of wisdom underneath. I can assure you, you and Gale will be the first recipients. The tee shirts will, of course, only come in dark grey.

robert5721 said...

If your Woman wants to post me her address, I can send you one of the FAMOUS DICEY FANCLUB T shirts that we did up last year....Dicey has quite a following now, and prople ask "Is DICEY here?" at the opening of the Equine Extravaganza and other events she has frequented.On the front it says Dicey Fan Club, with a picture of Dicey running at you,with "Who IS Dicey" under the photo, On the back is a picture of her elegant rump running away from you, with "A NICE ASS" emblazoned above it. She did let us put our farm name and contact information below the portrait quality photo.... this T Shirt was a REAL: hit with all of the kids at the shows, but I am not too sure about the parents....OH WELL....
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

A tee shirt?! For me?! I'm quite overcome with emotion. To have a wearable portrait of the lovely Dicey visible at all times is simply incredible. I will have the woman post you my address and will wait anxiously by the mail box at the end of my driveway. You really are too kind.

Gale said...

Sheaffer, I just don't know what to say. Everytime I look at this post, I can't stop laughing long enough to type anything. I can honestly picture the entire hoof trimming episode, as well as the poor little sailboat doggie; please don't tell the dog that I'm laughing at her expense.

Mr. Gale asks me over and over again what I'm laughing about and all I have to say is "button it."