What an eventful week this has been. The woman says she'll be glad to see the back of it and that the only law-abiding barn resident is Jack. Jack gets so worried when something out of the ordinary happens that the woman has to spend lots of time cleaning up the explosive digestive results - some of which coat the walls. Jack gets quite annoyed with us and says "Jest quit yer tarryhootin around - I know cases where parties got shipped fer lesser crimes." I think he means what TJ calls "a date with the meet man". Nonsense. The most the woman does is gnash her teeth and call us assorted names. In fact, she is putty in our hooves. Jack can't quite believe it, so he stays on his best behaviour at all times.
This week the humans went off to a concert in "the city". Some outlandish orchestra called ZedZed Top - I assume that's what she meant, though she pronounced it ZeeZee Top. They followed what I take to be a law firm of singing attorneys called Brooks and Dunn. Never heard of the lot of them. A horse minder came at seven and put us in our rooms where the woman had left our dinners, the pellet portion covered with tea towels to discourage flies. All went well till about ten o'clock when the woman usually gives us our nightime hay. Molly became restless and discovered that the minder had neglected to put the clip on her door lock.
What followed was a spate of looting and pillaging that rivalled Ghengis Khan on one of his busier days. Molly made for the tack room and began wrestling the feed bin with the locking handles. She ended up ripping the top off with her teeth but was disappointed that it held only the vitamin and mineral concoction. She knocked over a gallon of Flax seed oil and and wrenched the top off Jack's senior feed. Fortunately there was only a bit left in the bottom. She ground the spilled pellets and oil into a gummy mass and added to the gloop with copious amounts of pony drool. Then the bag of Stable Boy powder was upended into the mess. We could hear her coughing and stomping in there but couldn't see her for the cloud of dust. She says that's when she became disoriented, owing to the lurching and sneezing, which caused her to accidently descend through the rubber tile floor, creating large craters in the dirt underneath. Then our electric fan fell into a hole and got stomped. Then half a bucket of soapy water got spilled and the unopened fly paper strips fell into that. Then she crashed into the cabinet with all the linaments and meds and cleaning products in it...There was more -but you get the picture.
Then the woman came in. She looked quite surprised to see Molly's door wide open and at first thought someone had stolen her for some unfathomable reason. I mean, we're not talking Secretariat here, though Molly would thump me for saying that. Then a pink, filth-encrusted nose appeared around the corner of the tack room door. Molly tried to tiptoe to her room but given that the woman was standing next to her and that Molly was a moving cloud of white dust , the plan failed miserably. The woman clutched her head and tried to assess the damage but fell into a hole in the floor. She babbled for awhile about the folly of owning something with a pony brain and then tried to calculate how much Molly had eaten. Not enough to make her sick apparently, as she produced two huge piles of manure as soon as she got into her room.
Meanwhile, Jack had gotten himself into a terrible state. He was calling loudly to the woman to tell her this wasn't his idea AT ALL. He tried to jump over the front of the stall into her arms and wouldn't touch his hay till she has comforted him for a good while. He had gotten himself hot and sticky with worry so she towelled him till he was dry and he stopped twitching and looking like someone on too much caffeine. He was still rattled the next morning.
Molly was not repentent in the least. When the woman spoke to her sternly about the damage she had caused and the potential for harm to her digestion, Molly simply curled her nostrils and turned into the corner. I did notice that she was particularly fawning with the woman for the next day or so. Molly knows very well she committed a huge crime but given a chance, she says she would do it all over again. She says she would just plan better next time now she has scouted the territory.
The cleanup continues and a new floor has been ordered. The humans are going away for the weekend, presumably to recover.