Monday, June 8, 2009

Criminal Activity at Our Barn

My writing machine has been repaired but I find it a tad jumpy since it's fit of the vapours or whatever it was it had. We had a wonderful typewriting machine that dated from before the second great war - the kind that requires massive amounts of force to print a letter on the page. It was a solid, no-nonsense machine that never broke down. Of course herself had to give it to one of the younger relatives as a family heirloom.

The crime spree began yesterday when all the mats in our run-in disappeared. The woman did a preliminary search but failed to turn up anything mat-like. She sighed and carried on with cleaning our rooms. After lunch she returned and discovered the electric water boiling device and the radio box with the voices in it had also disappeared. She began to become quite alarmed and wondered out loud if we had had burglers with a fixation on small appliances.

She questioned the male human but he claimed to be unaware of the strange goings-on. Back to the paddock she came, scratching her dishevelled coiffure. She began exploring further afield in the paddock and discovered the mats piled up against the fence, out of view. The water boiling device was discovered in the shrubbery and the box of voices was dangling from a low tree branch. Herself was utterly perplexed.

She trudged back to the barn to top up our bedding and to replace the devices on the tack room window sill. There was a rustling sound and there was Molly, pushing up the window so she could access the newly repositioned devices. "Ahaaa!" said the woman, "I should have known! " With that she slammed the window shut and engaged the locking mechanism. Of course we equines knew all about the mysterious crime spree but remained silent in a show of solidarity.

What the woman doesn't know is that Molly is so resentful of having the stinging wire cutting us off from the lushest grass that she has launched a campaign of sabotage against Herself. She plans to have the woman completely unhinged by midsummer. So far so good. The battle rages on, with Molly claiming to be proud of her new title of "Pony Kleptomaniac" or "Ponyiac" for short. You simply can't shame someone who is shameless. I await the next installment with greatest interest. Guerrilla warfare has a bright side after all.

15 comments:

robert5721 said...

sheaffer,
such goings on bode well for an interesting summer....PLEASE keep us informed of all the goings on there. Maybe Mr Jack can deploy some of his lock knowledge to open that window to assist Miss Molly's forays into criminality???? What a HOOT!!
keep it up!!
Mr Gale

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - my Molly sure is a smart one - besides being beautiful. I bet she needed the mats in the field and the music box so she could practice her cha cha cha!

Please give her my love!

XXOO

billie said...

LOL - the Poniac!

Molly is just too much. I think we should all chip in and send her on a summer holiday with Buddy!!

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, you raise an interesting point (and possibly window). Jack is so skilled in the art of locksmithing that if he were to join forces with Molly, we would exerience a sudden descent into pure anarchy. I will put the idea to him.

Buddy, the word the woman uses in regards to Molly's activities are "nefarious" and "conniving". Molly says you understand her perfectly - she was in fact trying to perfect her dance moves by assembling the mats next to the music box in the great outdoors where she would have more room to express her inner pony dancer.

Billie, the woman says how soon can you arrange to send Molly to Buddy's home state? She's willing to chip in as much as needed...

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer,
strongly encourage his participation in the Political Foray that will become the Donkey REVOLUTION of 2009.... the final VICTORY !!!!
Mr Gale

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - I would love for Miss Molly to spend the summer with me - she may never want to return - and I know you would miss her!

Love the Saber Toothed Sally pics - she is a very pretty kitkat.

XXOO

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, oh yes, the revolution is underway and I plan to reinstate many of those sensible medieval practices to keep the woman in line. Torquemada is much underated as an imaginative micro-manager of behaviour problems.

Buddy, I am strongly encouraging Molly to stay with you for the summer - she's quite interested in some den of iniquity called "Vegas" which I believe is within your home state. I assure you, a sojourn from her bossy ways would be welcome. Sally thanks you for your compliments - we find her to be very satisfactory on the feline front.

ponymaid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
billie said...

I've been thinking about travel options for Miss Molly to go to Nevada and stay with Buddy for the summer. Now I hear she wants to take a side-trip to Vegas?!

I'm thinking we may have to come up with a Molly: Vegas ShowGal act to bring in some cash so the woman won't blow the budget for the rest of you. Surely she could swing through and set Vegas on fire, then spend the rest of the summer with Buddy.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - Vegas is just an hour away - so Molly can play there and stay here. And remember - what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - LOL.

XXOO

ponymaid said...

Billie, Molly is all for a life on the boards, as Jack calls it. I hear Cirque De Soleil doesn't have animal members but maybe they could make an exception...The only problem is her lack of any sort of artistic talent - I suppose she could be part of some kleptomaniac-pickpocket act...she's also most accomplished at food consumption. And she loves anything shiny to wear.

Buddy, when Molly happens to Vegas, they won't want her to stay there under any circumstances, I'm afraid. Her campaign of harassment to force the woman to allow us to graze on the lush side of the stinging wire may just cause the woman to fork out the fare to your place. Poor Vegas, what has it ever done to deserve Molly?

billie said...

I may have found a job source for Molly - google Big Horse Productions and check it out!

I have a vision of her in the middle of the act, directing the big horses around. As big as they are, her attitude is BIGGER, you know? :)

ponymaid said...

A travelling troupe of very large equines - Billie, you have indeed found Molly's calling. She would love performing in front of large crowds and she always enjoys a road trip. I can guarantee she would be the smallest, bossiest member and also the one in the tightest stretchy costume, adorned with sparkles. The mind boggles and then simply collapses under the weight of the mental image.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - mom got the nicest thank you card from Sheila for my donation in honor of your birthday. It had pictures of her and the donkeys and a receipt and info on the sanctuary.

Nice people you know!

XXOO

ponymaid said...

Buddy, I'm glad you and your woman enjoyed Sheila's note and photos. It takes a special horse to send his allowance to needy donkeys nearly a continent away. It's amazing what can be done when we all pull together!