Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Just a Few Things to Note...

The theme around the barn this week has been hairstyles. For reasons I cannot fully explain, we have all suddenly taken a keen interest in modifying our appearances. With no opposable thumbs and no access to the better type of hair styling product, we have had to make do with nature's offerings.

Doc started us off by sticking his head in a burr bush and rotating it in a brisk circular motion. His forelock stood up in a conical fashion, the burrs worked in so thoroughly and tightly that the corners of his eyes were pulled up. Then, he worked some more burrs into his mane so that it stood up in points. Satisfied with his handiwork, he showed the results to us and then went off to impress the woman. She sighed and looked heavenward and then fetched the mane comb and spray bottle of hair detangler. Just as well, since Doc's scalp was beginning to itch fiercely and he was developing a migraine headache.

"La Molly" went next and focused on a leaf and twig bound together by mud theme. She felt she looked like a super model but in fact she strongly resembled a compost heap in both appearance and odour. The only one who dared voice that opinion was the woman who used every tool in the grooming box to get the worst of it off.

Jack went for an damp manure/ sand theme and emerged from a vigourous roll with the aura of a mud wrestler gone mad. He smelled even worse than Molly and had to dry out before the woman would approach close enough to begin the removal process. He was incensed that she misunderstood his hard work and said "huh, she don't even kno this heres a ancient health and beyooty treamint." He vows to repeat his "treatment" as soon as the elements allow.

As for myself, my new hairstyle was somewhat inadvertent. I was eating my hay as Jack worked on his gruel and somehow his bucket holder slid over against the partition. I thought I felt something soggy and warm landing on my person but only later realized it was patches of gruel. Jack offered to clean it off, though I fear his motive was fueled more by not wanting to waste any dinner rather than a desire for cleanliness. His cleanup consisted of washing it backwards against the lie of my coat, so that when the woman returned later, my hair was standing on end, held in place by a hard paste of saliva and gruel. Out came the grooming box...

Sally's new look is a secret to the woman but not to us. One of us is washing her from head to foot during the night, leaving her fur so fluffed up that she looks like a feline puffball. Sally is always back in her bed and the four of us standing innocently at the back of our rooms when the woman arrives, so the mystery continues to baffle her. She doesn't need to know everything.

11 comments:

billie said...

Donkey subterfuge - I love it!

Around here we humans offer our thumbs and assist with hairstyles of the rich and famous.

Keil Bay makes a quite fine Elvis if you roll his forelock under just so.

Cody is Rod Steward with very little effort on our parts.

Apache Moon's forelock twists up nicely into a unicorn horn.

The donkeys and Salina do not have forelocks - Salina has a tiny tiny one that for whatever reason never has grown in the four years she has lived here. They tend to go for the hay hat look.

Although yesterday dear daughter had brown oak leaves that she was sticking into the donkeys' puffs so they resembled reindeer.

We are easily amused!

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - another exciting time at your place. I did laugh myself silly. Myself - I have had my blankie on the last three nights and mom is furious with me for getting it dirty. How does one lay down in poof dirt and not get the blankie dirty - humans!

Are there pics of everyone in their new do's??? I would love to see them. Who is the little midget visiting??? Is she related to the woman??

Love the new pic of Molly - she is smiling at me - I just know it.

Your Fren,

South Valley Girl said...

Greetings from the sunny southwest, Sheaffer, and good morning to all your colleagues.

I was very pleased to see The Woman attending to your grooming with uncharacteristic earnestness - the least she can do in light of the recent ursine debacle. There's nothing like a new "do" to perk up the spirits.

Mutual grooming is a central part of many social groups - I'm an anthropologist, and have studied these things, and I can assure you that The Woman's grooming efforts are part of her attempt to fit in with, and be accepted by, the larger group there in your barn. I hope you'll relent a little and allow her to continue her campaign to win back your trust. She does occasionally prove herself to be useful, particularly in activities requiring opposable thumbs.

Once you've decided that she's suffered enough and have forgiven her for the shock she gave you the other night, you might consider grooming her back, as it were - as a symbol of your acceptance. Look at the good it's done Sally! Surely The Woman would benefit from some slurping and nibbling - maybe even a roll in the dust with Jack. These activities can be an important part of the group dynamic - sort of like the Donkey version of trust falls.

I'll be on vacation all next week and unable to keep up with the activities around the barn (more's the pity), but I'll be thinking of all of you as I celebrate Thanksgiving with my social group here in New Mexico. In the meantime, be well and happy.

Christina / SVG

CindyLouWho said...

Sheaffer,

LOVE the Micro Humans! They have the sweetest smell, so innocent! They are my favorite kind, and they are amazed, but mostly not intimidated, at my size.

I haven't done a hairstyle lately, although the Pony is doing a good bit with the burrs. My favorite is to get buttercups all stuck in my halter and forelock... Hence my long-standing nickname, The Delicate Flower and Buttercup... Pnut prefers hats made of Spanish Moss in Florida...

You keep that woman busy so she doesn't get any of those Big Ideas about Going Places! Try a break-out next week; this time of year there could be weaknesses in the fence that Herself hasn't seen... Last week Finn and I found a place where a deer had busted through the (electric tape) fence at night when it was not on. We snuck quietly through the fence and grazed in a lush new field for an hour or two before the woman realized we were too close to the Pond. TeeHee... Now she's afraid to leave the place 'cause it's Hunting Season! lol

Bouncy Dog said...

Hi Sheaffer,
Thought I'd just bounce on in to say it looks like you and the rest of your equine family are doing a fine job with those cute little Micro-Humans. You've got the right idea. Get them properly indoctrinated while they're sensibly sized and they'll be your best friends for life.

I've got three Micros of my own I'm working on. With the help of Ben & Jerry, and my horse Dante, not to forget the lovely Barn Cat Lavender (whom I would love to chase but know I mustn't) I daresay their training is coming along very nicely indeed ... Animal Lovers every one.

Keep up the good work.

Your friend and admirer,
Presto

ponymaid said...

Billie, you are not in the same base category as Herself - she would never lend us her thumbs. We are very taken with your descriptions of "dos". Especially your offspring's brilliant idea of weaving oak leaves into the donkeys forehead puffs. Festive and yet understated.

Buddy, humans are obsessed with keeping us, and any clothing they manage to shoe horn us into, clean. They buy us these outfits and then moan on and on about dirt. Pay no mind and enjoy the dust - my belief is that they secretly enjoy complaining. Herself did not get photos, except of Doc making that ridiculous face whilst sporting the mini unicorn horn of burrs. Someone with a seven strand comb-over is foolish to take risks with hair embellishments. The abbreviated human is the grand offspring of a friend of the woman's - the human to Nacho donkey who attended my party. It would seem to be female, a long yearling and although a sort of palomino colour, was clad in a pink over shell. It came with an older sibling, also female, and they comported themselves admirably. The older one speaks quite well but the micro version commuinicates mainly through hand gestures and approximations of word sounds. She refers to Penny as "voof voof" so perhaps she is making an attempt at speaking Dutch. I'm glad you enjoyed Molly's photo - you are made of sterner stuff than the rest of us -it gave us quite a fright.

Christina SVG, how you understand me! Your career in the field of anthropology explains your uncanny reading of Herself's anthropoid ape behaviours (I confess, I've always found her to have a certain simian cast of countenance). We do not solicit her grooming and yet she foists herself upon us. I fear you must be right in deducing that she wishes to become one of our herd. We do occasionally attempt to groom her disheveled person but she complains of soggy garments and sticky hair. There's no pleasing someone who doesn't know where they belong in the social order. I wish you the very best of holidays in the warm south west...donkeyless it's true, but at least not frostbitten. The woman is attempting to post a link sent to her by Fred and Ginger - it features law enforcement and a cat.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8366386.stm


CLW I hear rumours that Her Awfulness may be planning to descend on your residence next week - my advice is to run fast, run far. She's not content to have eaten every pie in this nation at our own Thanksgiving, she has to cross the border and inhale your provisions. Keep that break in the fence open and do a runner when you see her looming on the horizon. I do apologize but she's a law unto herself.

Buddy said...

OMG that video was hilarious!

I missed Doc's pic yesterday - he is singing another country song and this time its about the burrs.

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

Bouncy Dog, my experience with the micro-humans is very limited but Jack has met hundreds. He says that if trained from infancy they can be quite pleasant and can even be taught to share their food. Sounds like you and your colleagues are breaking your Micros in with a firm but fair paw/hoof.

Buddy, glad to hear you enjoyed the incredibly helpful and persistent Officer Cat hard at work. There is another short film on the same site, just at the side, of a cat in England who takes the bus every day. What an ideal life - and he has the surrounding humans so beautifully trained to assist him. Some of us are just born leaders - and adventurers.

Buddy said...

Hay All - if I don't have time tomorrow I wanted to wish all a very Happy Thanksgiving and a very Happy Thursday for the canadian peeples/equines. I'm hoping for extra carrots for dinner!

Love to all my frens,

ponymaid said...

Buddy, did you receive your Thanksgiving carrots? And pie? Oh wait, Herself is in your country and therefore there is no more pie...I hope your day was a happy one nevertheless.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - yes I got my Thanksgiving Carrots and they were great! No pie - but lots of carrots.

Your fren,