Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Donkey Days of Summer

Finally, decent weather. The radio in my barn is calling it a heat wave but they are mistaken. It is simply civilized temperatures. I don't care how many eggs they fry on pavements, this is why I endure those endless months of frostbite and hypothermia.

I am slowly, carefully shedding the last of my winter coat. One cannot be too careful in these climes. Of course, Herself can't leave well enought alone but has to "help" me with the process. She uses a large toothed comb to rake through my hair and that I don't mind at all. Yesterday, however, she decided that wasn't enough but that I should have a bath! One with water.

She bribed me into the barn aisle with a tasty snack and then snuck up on me with a bucket of soapy water and a large sponge. She started at my hooves and I was galvanized into a sort of Highland Fling. Then she inched the thing up my leg and onto my side. Well! It was hideous and I understand full well how a near drowning feels. I took immediate action and bellowed for Molly. I spun in a circle, flinging foam in all directions - mainly on Herself. I reared and bolted up and down the aisle. What else could I do? I was under attack in my own home. Molly arrived in a cloud of dust and tried to open the door. Herself spat out bits of soap foam.

We worked out an uneasy truce where I will let her bathe my lower extremeties, for now, but forbid anything liquid to touch my upper person. She says we shall see. Odd, because that's exactly what I say. I think she should just go find some pavement, fry an egg and leave me alone.

10 comments:

Jiller said...

Sheaffer,
She was not trying to drowned you, she was trying to make you handsome. wink wink....All the guys are doing, think of it more as a wet brushing and you will get through it!

Dougie Donk said...

Oh my, I sympathise on the loss of your winter coat. My woman has taken to regularly assaulting me with an instrument of torture she calls a "stripping blade" if I had opposable thumbs, I'd be calling the Donkey Sanctuary to report her!

The only consolation is that we are having endless rain, with warm temperature. This mean she has not enforced blanket use, and I can replace my lost coat with layers of beautiful mud :))

ponymaid said...

Jiller - I fear I can never accept the whole concept of water bathing when there is so much tempting dust in which to roll. I must admit, though, I hadn't thought of the handsone element. I will look into that.

ponymaid said...

Dougie, endless rain sounds appalling - you are a brave donkey to endure that and the dreaded stripping blade of torture. You would love it here right now - roads are crumpling in the heat and so is the Woman. It makes for a more peaceful environment in the paddock.

billie said...

Sheaffer, that photo looks like potential donkey heaven in spite of the hauling of a wide load - all that alfalfa? Can you grab bits as you go?

I feel I need to say this: if The Woman is trying to bathe you, it's time to call Jack and bring him back to see what in the world is going on. You are much too gentlemanly.

Redford allowed his private area to be gently hosed after the brutal affront that was caused by the vet - but we used a clicker and gave him alfalfa pellets with each click. I am not sure Rafer would allow even that. Each time any horse lines up for hosing in this extreme summer heat, the donkeys go to their dust circles and roll wildly, proving to me that they need nothing but dry matter to keep them nice and clean.

How is Molly? I feel I haven't had nearly enough of your reportage of all things Sheaffer - it is SO GOOD to have your posts again.

ponymaid said...

Ah billie, alas there is no alfalfa for me. She has installed some sort of rein affair that prevents me from putting my head down to ground or grazing level. If only I had Jack here for moral support. I am amazed and frankly stunned that Redford will allow the watering of his personal area- I don`t believe I have tasted alfalfa pellets but they sound delightful. La Molly, as she is known around here, is enjoying rude good health but does not care for the ongoing heat. She perspires freely. I am so glad to be in touch with my friends and supporters - it is my only opportunity to share the shocking goings-on in my orbit.

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

Oh Shaeffer, I would be happy with some temperatures somewhere in the middle of freezing and roasting. Harry and Gunny will frolic in anything except rain, of course. I have never turned the hose on the boys but I've been considering it. I would like to clean Harry's back legs which always look soiled to me. But he is a suspicious young donkey and I have never attempted it for fear he would never forgive me. He is still remembering the day he lost two of his personal parts to the vet and that was 3 years ago.

ponymaid said...

Denise - I can assure you that we donkeys never, ever forget the assault on our most personal area with a scalpel and crimping device. A hose is nearly as bad. Herself claims she was trying to clean off some tree sap and Molly saliva but I have my doubts. Dust is the perfect medium for cleaning one's person but humans have so much trouble with the concept. I'm told that some of you subject yourself to cleaning with water on a daily basis. What utter madness!

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,
We are lucky here. Our human never subjects us to anything resembling a bath. A good grooming and then we are free to go and roll in the sand. Whether this is out of the goodness or her heart or just plain laziness I don't know but I am not going to complain.

It is so nice to have you back -keeping us up to date on all the happenings. Our human comes to the barn in better humour these days always with a story to tell.

Your fan,

Willy

ponymaid said...

Willy - never trust a human around a container of H2O larger than a thimble. Even then, they'll try to shoehorn you into the thimble for a quick scrub. I am glad to be back as well - I don't care for being put on mute mode. I have so much to say...