Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Odds And Ends

We saw Sheila last week and of course she had a TJ update. I don't ask for these updates but the woman tells me anyway. TJ is quite happy with all the activity surrounding him and has settled in to the large group of donkeys. He still zooms everywhere like someone with his hair on fire but has accepted quite happily that certain behaviours will end up with his being pummeled.

Last week an elderly male human came to visit the sanctuary with his grand-offspring. This man has a permanently dour outlook and in fact has a cap that says "Grouch", a tee shirt that says "Grouch" and a metal plate on the front of his vehicle that says "Grouch". TJ examined him from a distance and decided he quite liked him. He became so enamoured of this Grouch entity that he began to shadow him wherever he and the miniature human went. Apparently the Grouch was equally smitten because he showed up the very next day with bags of apples and carrots for TJ and regrets that he couldn't stay to visit but promised he would be back just as soon as he could. He sounds like a perfect match for the tiny terror.

On the wardrobe front, my dreams of tall shiny headgear and flowing robes has been cruelly snuffed out. The woman came back today with a top hat for me to wear and she's now searching for an appropriate tie. I'm bitterly disappointed of course, but l do like the Victorian approach to formal dress. I hope she gets me some spats.

I have transcribed my entire sermon into Latin. I feel it is more appropriate for this foray into the ecclesiastical world. I know it is meant to be an informal occasion on the church lawn but I would like to raise the tone a bit. Besides, I'm sure the young humans especially will be entranced by three solid hours of deep thought presented in that most important of ancient languages. I'm quite confident they will never forget the afternoon. - it will remain seared in their memories for life.


the7msn said...

Shaeffer, you never cease to crack me up. Wish I could be there to attend your sermon. Please have the woman take pictures...lots of pictures.

billie said...

Latin! That is perfect. I hope the top hat and tie fit you well - I'm sure you will look handsome and dapper. The papal headgear was a wonderful idea but I suppose it might have been quite heavy and a burden to you during the 3-hour sermon.

robert5721 said...

You ARE using the old testament for this most important sermon, are you not? It translates smoothly into the Latin mode and Leviticus can be used to describe just what will happen to ANYONE who mistreats a Donkey! The tophat should do nicely, as the overt opulence of the papal headgear might turn some people off, and some of the little boogers might try to purloin the jewels.

I LOVE the pictures of Mr Jack, he looks really good compared to how he was when he got to the sanctuary..what does he think about your sermon?

We all want to see PICTURES of your latest triumph..Dicey and I will be there in spirit, as I fear that the border guards might take a dim view of us trying to cross it..oh well.
We hope that there will be TV cameras there so we can see it in full!
Mr Gale and Dicey

ponymaid said...

Thank you everyone, I so wish you could all be with me. It's unfortunate that we are having an election in Canada as well - all the media are caught up in that or I could have hoped for at least one moving picture camera. The woman has instructions to keep hitting the little button on her own camera.

My sermon will be highly donkey-centric and will threaten every biblical plague and pox on those who treat donkeys with disrespect. Mr. Gale, I will quote Leviticus freely - all the good bits about hell and damnation. Donkey abusers beware, the wrath of Sheaffer will descend upon you. Jack just huffs about all this and says his take on things theological is that they're better left unexplored. He says he'll leave all that "philosopherizin'" to me because it just makes his head hurt. I may let him try on the hat.

Buddy said...

Love the pics of Jack - he looks great - and is quite handsome for a elder donkey.

Your woman takes good care of you two!!

Dougie Donk said...

Shaeffer, I am not yet old enough to be familiar with Leviticus & my woman's atheist education has left her sadly devoid of awareness. She has now gone off to research & advise me of her findings in due course.

Thank you for your assistance in helping me direct her to useful sources of donkey knowledge.