A Most Peculiar Visitor

This morning dawned cold and windy. That in itself is not noteworthy, because it has been cold and windy around here for the last eon or so, but today the woman decided it was time for Jack to don his new checkered sport coat. She has been dithering about the timing for this wardrobe upgrade. Jack has decided he will graciously accept this new covering because it allows him to navigate the entire paddock in comfort, without being harassed by the buffeting wind.

As someone who despises any sort of equine clothing, I assured him I will do my best to sabotage her efforts. I have begun on the tail cord and am happy to say I accomplished my mission in record time. Said tail cord is now a mere frozen strand of pathetic string. Jack says he's not sure he wants the whole thing demolished but I pointed out that the idiot woman had left the price tag on the front - which is the height of gaucherie. Jack said "I kinda like lettin' the world know I'm a valable donkey with a new suit a clothin".

With Jack in his new coat, price tag flapping in the wind, we made our way to the front of the paddock. You can't imagine what we saw on the side of the road, right next to our fence. There was a huge yellow metal diamond with a flat man on it. He appeared to be shovelling dirt but was obviously working in extreme slow motion because I didn't see him move all day, nor did he ever utter a peep. There were humans in the distance waving flags and stopping traffic and other humans digging up the side of the road but the flat, quiet man kept to himself. "I seen him before", said Jack, "he's allus on his own, never takes no lunch break or talks to nobody and he works real slow. He must be the boss cuz they carry him around an he jus leans on that shovel all day long, watchin' them others work." I'm obviously engaged in a staring match with a member of management.

With that Jack went back to the run-in for a snack. I settled in for the morning to see if the flat man would ever blink. I used classic guerilla warfare tactics to approach him without his seeing me, moving left and right and hiding in the shadow of the fence posts. The woman says fence posts only work as a hiding place if your stomach doesn't stick out on either side. Always harping on the negative. At one point Doc spotted him and galloped over, making loud trumpeting noises, Molly following in his wake. Doc challenged Flat Man to a rasslin match but gave up in disgust and came back to say "Dood just stands there all flat sayin' nothin' - I tole him I'd kick his butt only he don't seem to have one." Poor Doc, he's finally met someone with as many dimensions as himself and it's confusing him terribly.

I've given up spying on the flat stranger for today but I fervently hope he is back tomorrow. I'm growing quite fond of him - maybe he can move in with us. The woman says she needs him for the front of the barn to indicate that a lot of shoveling goes on inside, but it's not gravel being shoveled.