Friday, September 7, 2012

Itchy and Scratchy

Last week was the week of seasonal allergies for poor Wilson. His legs became stovepipes, he itched from head to foot and his muzzle broke out in an acne-like rash. He stopped eating (even compost) and said his stomach hurt. I suffered none of the same effects and carried on eating for both of us. It was the least I could do.
The veterinarian came, of course, and left the Woman with various things to give him. His legs were wrapped, his hay soaked and he was generally treated like an invalid. I don't approve of that sort of pandering but what can I do. He even got extra bedding so he could lie propped up with the fan wafting gentle currents over him. I mean, honestly. What if he suddenly had to live wild on the plains, foraging for himself and fighting off wolves? I suppose Herself would trudge after him, fan in hand, catering to his every whim and giving the unfortunate wolves a piece of her mind. He is feeling much better now but still wears what the male human calls his soccer socks at night. I should add that he didn't lose an ounce throughout the ordeal.
We were quite interested yesterday when a blue metal bin showed up and rattled noisily off the back of a vehicle. We were convinced it contained at least one equine and called out in various tones to ascertain if that were the case. Alas, there was no answer. The thing seems to be a rubbish container and of no use to us, although Wilson has expressed a desire to rummage through it. I was led over to it today so I could see for myself that it was indeed equine-free. If it had a roof it might make a nice donkey cottage or chalet where I could retreat to ruminate in peace. A donkey can dream.
Wilson's lessons were cancelled due to his poor health but should be back on track next week when he promises to continue training the trainer.

15 comments:

Dougie Donk said...

Poor Wilson! I do feel you could be a touch more sympathetic, especially as the woman probably administered to more of your needs while seeing to Wilson's.Every cloud, etc.

The donkey cottage looks fascinating. Could the woman perhaps be embarking on a clear-out in order to make room for another donkey to keep you company? Updates, please!

billie said...

Sheaffer, I am sorry to hear about Wilson and hope he gets rid of the itches very soon.

Like you, I am most intrigued with this blue cottage and its potential. The very blueness of it made me think first of Picasso and his Blue Period but then more cheerful thoughts burst forth - with your decorative attention I feel you could turn it into a perfectly beautiful French Country cottage, with all sorts of flowering lushness planted outside and some shutters placed strategically in a nice color that will mute that blue.

It could be your French Country retreat. I will be more than happy to send you my volumes of Proust and Colette so that you can entertain yourself out there.

I also see a beret (the very best wool, Dougie can help with this) and an easel with paints and canvas. I have a small cupboard that would be perfect for the back wall and it could be literally stuffed full with various treats and snacks.

Of course I realize as I type that The Woman will probably put her foot down and say NO to all these plans. Somehow we humans end up thwarting the best-laid plans of donkeys young and old. This weekend the big project on November Hill is installing a new strip of HorseGuard electric tape to keep certain inhabitants from going through the paddock fence, and a gate on the hay tent to prevent same certain inhabitants from moving in and making it a veritable 24/7 buffet.

I am steeling myself for the snubbing I will get once these things are done. How many days can I go without donkey hugs? We might just find out.

Meanwhile, you could pen your own Proustian tome. I feel it would be well received.

ponymaid said...

Dougie - D'you know, that's exactly what the Woman said?! Charity begins at home etc. - I find illness hard to comprehend, never having had so much as a sniffle. She says I'm tempting fate by saying so.

I am seeking an architect to help in the restoration of my, ummmm, apparently it's called a dumpster. I prefer to think of it a future chateau. It will have a guest suite and you are most welcome at any time! There will be central heating.

ponymaid said...

billie - The Woman called it Smurf Blue. I have no clue what she means. She also said it was my equivalent of "DeDaumier Smith's Blue Period", a tale by Salinger but again, the reference eludes me. Proust and Colette - now that makes more sense. I do like the idea of a French Chateau up here on the plains of the northland. You are most kind to offer a treat-storage unit. I will have it fully stocked in anticipation of guests. I will order a suitable beret from the fine hat makers used by Dougie's humans as the source for the magnificent firefighter's hat with which they gifted me. Ahhh yes, a chapeau for the chateau. In the face of oncoming winter, I feel a small stirring of hope.

I must admit, I don't care for the sound of the tape you mention. I can certainly forsee an unfortunate shunning in your near future...

billie said...

The lovely green gate was erected in the opening of the hay tent yesterday. Redford and Rafer Johnson came out of the barn upon its completion and Rafer stared at it and walked away. Redford marched right out there, stared it down from a few inches away, then took his nose and shoved it HARD. It did not turn out to be, as I think he hoped, a rickety installation. He then went to the posts and used his hoof to see if they could easily be unearthed. No, they were dug in deep and tamped down well. He walked away in pure donkey disgust.

I guess you will already know that I, watching from the dusty purple Adirondack chair with my glass of white wine, was well and truly snubbed by both donkeys. I hope they forgive me sooner rather than later!

Today is the tape event. Sigh.

I am excited to hear about the central heating. I had in my mind's eye a small woodstove for which you could easily gather wood from various places, including the door frames on the barn, and thus have a built-in excuse for your fine sculpturing. You could enlist Wilson's help in bringing small logs and such to the door of your chapeau.

You know, I feel this endeavor might finally summon the filmmakers to your doorstep. Much like the series A Year in Provence, or like the book about restoring the villa in Italy. They could follow your renovation. A Year With Sheaffer. Or Sheaffer's Chapeau. Various manufacturers and artisans will send samples for you to install, and I suspect the Stud Muffin company will send boxes and boxes of their products to fill your treat cupboard shelves. Winter does not have to be a blue period this year!

ponymaid said...

billie - Your place sounds absolutely wonderful, and except for the tape, a donkey paradise. I like your idea of a small woodstove for my chateau - snacks and fuel in one. "A Year In The Canadian Wilderness" - I am already brimming over with ideas for this tome. And an endless supply of Stud Muffins - well! A writer could have no better inspiration. Do you know if Capability Brown is still alive? I rather fancy a small garden with a folly for the short season that passes for summer here and I feel sure he would wish to design something.

Dougie Donk said...

I am SO excited at the thought of visiting that I even let the woman catch me first! Regrettably, she then said that "freight" costs are calculated on weight & she does not earn enough to send me.

I ask you - Freight? Moi? I am now in a sulk and will not come out of it until she feeds me a whole packet of Polo mints. I may be gone for some time....

ponymaid said...

Dougie - my spirits soared and then...were dashed by the whole freight issue. I can understand your shock and dismay - you do right to drive a hard bargain. I had visions of us, like the famous Ratty and Moley, snug in my heated chalet, hooves to the fire. But alas, it is not to be. How unfair.

Christine said...

Poor Wilson! Was there a particular issue that was diagnosed? I hope he improves quickly!

ponymaid said...

Christine - Thank you for your kind words, which I have passed on to the pony himself. He seems to have had an allergic reaction to - well we don't know what exactly. Possibly something in his flake of night-time hay. He was fine when he went to bed but looked like the Michelin Pony in the morning. He is back to his old self with only the slightest sign of puffiness in his legs on occasion. Fortunately, the muzzle rash has healed and the scabrous material fallen off - he looked like he had the Black Plague for awhile. The Woman got to see it in detail because when he isn't feeling well he glues his person to her with his nose shoved into her neck. She shuddered but carried on comforting him. He was too pathetic to turn away...

Buddy said...

OMG - where have I been?? Molly - my love - is gone to a new home? Well my heart is a breaking!!! I'm glad she has her own girl now but what about me?? I need to come back her more often as I see alot has happened.

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

Buddy - Where have you been??? You have been sorely missed, my friend. Molly is semi-retired, bossing around the western section of this large province. There has been a battle of wills with the young human but they seem to have reached a working agreement. Young human will hand over endless treats and Molly will haul her bareback around the corn field field for recreational purposes. We do miss her rather a lot.

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,

I hope Wilson has continued to improve and is no longer suffering from any allergic reactions. Has he resumed his "training the trainer" sessions? I would like to see him in action as I am very talented giving such lessons but am always willing to pick up a few pointers.

I think the bright blue bin would make an excellent chalet. According to my human there is a TV celebrity named Mike Holmes that can work wonders when it comes to renovating homes. If you could contact him he might even film the renos and you could be on TV.

My human and Our Girl Friday visited PrimRose Donkey Sanctuary last week. They got to visit with your old friend Jack. He is very old but is still going strong - bossing people around and just being a busy body. TJ (now know as Virgel) is still there. According to the news he is still as hard to get along with as ever. I know your life has been much easier since he left. There are lots of donkeys at the sanctuary looking for new homes so please spread the word.

Your Fan,

Willy

ponymaid said...

Willy - thank you, Wilson seems to be feeling quite himself again...He says he is planning on writing an article on trainer training so I will be sure to forward it to you. I heard rumblings that your humans were going to PrimRose. It sounds like a good time was had by all. Jack is now 47 and I am extremely chuffed to hear that he is still running the place with an iron hoof. Did he tour you around? That's his specialty - tours. And electrical work.

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