Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Jack Revisits His Youth

My friend Willy has promised me that his humans are hard at work building an ark for Jack and self and we very nearly needed it yesterday. I say we had a hurricane/monsoon/tropical snow storm but the woman says I am exaggerating, if only slightly. Jack and I stayed in and listened to the wind trying to pry the roof off and the rain machine-gunning the windows. Doc and Molly stayed in the run-in until three o'clock, when they decided they'd had enough and came inside. The only plus is that a lot of large, old branches are lying around the paddock and they make for excellent snack and woodworking material .

Jack's energy level has been escalating by leaps and bounds since his ingestion of the dreaded vermifuge and today he reverted to a sprightly age four and a half. He credits his new vigour to the bucket of alfalfa cubes he eats daily. Whatever it is, he very nearly ran me into a state of vertigo just before dinner. He ambushed me from behind a shrub, saying "Ahah, ya yaller varmint, I'm gonna run ya clear outta town!" he proceeded to make a flying leap onto my back. I grabbed his front leg, he seized me by the neck, I shook his hock vigourously - well, you get the idea. Then he proceeded to gallop around the trees and fallen branches at approximately mach three. He jumped in the air, he spun around, he kicked up his heels. Then he broke into an extended trot, nose in the air and head turning from side to side while his tail performed helicopter motions of it's own accord. Penny tried to join in, going so far as to retrieve her rubber hot dog, squeaking it as she followed in our wake. I'm still recovering but Jack says it was just a warm-up. I wonder what's in those alfalfa cubes...

I should mention that Jack absolutely and positively refuses to eat the cubes if they are the least bit damp so the woman has had to improvise. She got a large metal mallet and, after wrapping the cubes in a grain bag, smashes them to smithereens. Then she shakes them into Jack's bucket and breaks up the rest by hand. We are all somewhat paranoid about him getting choke so I have strongly encouraged this impersonation of a troll mining for gold nuggets with a hammer. Jack hangs over his stall-front, sounding like a fog horn gone mad and demanding that she swing the hammer with greater energy. She insists on humming a tuneless version of "The Anvil Chorus" or worse, "I've been Working on the Railroad". Fortunately, Jack is usually able to drown her out. What with the pounding and humming and braying, I might as well live in the Tower of Babel.


Buddy said...

I think he has spring fever - even though you are having a storm! Spring makes us all do weird things. I will just take off running and bucking when no one is around - the neighbor ratted me out to mom.


Ben said...

Hi Sheaffer
We had the nasty storm here as well. Fortunately the Colleen woman came out and rescued us from the deluge. We spent a quiet day hard at work cleaning up the bits of hay around the barn. The man has been obsessed with my feet of late and keeps trying to pick them up. The nerve..has he no sense of privacy. Today he was relentless and I decided it was time to put him in his place. I took off down the aisle at a brisk trot, and as he was holding my halter, dragged him along sliding on his bootsoles.
I must have put a scare into him for all he could do for many minutes was shake and cry out "Kowabunga, surf's up". Perhaps this is some sort of Prayer or chant for protection. I expect that I will be treated with more dignity henceforth. Jerry says to tell you that Doc's Photo Essay reminds him of Karsh in his younger days. I tend to agree, for once. On another note I am dispatching the Emi lady and the 2 barn people to meet with your woman next week. They are to make themselves and all their resources available for planning your Birthday celebration. I do look forward to meeting you.

billie said...

We are having similar antics here, but without the alfalfa cubes! I'm glad to hear that Jack is feeling better, and sending you some virtual ear plugs so that perhaps you can get some peace at mealtimes!

Today we're having very blustery wind, so blustery that I went out to ride and abandoned the idea entirely, because I have a feeling Keil Bay would go airborne and I might go even further up than he does!

This spring seems a bit wild to me in comparison with recent years.

ponymaid said...

Buddy, definitely a case of old donkey spring fever. He's still cavorting around today. Granny from across the road used to rat me out, as you say, but she has been gone for a year. We still miss her blue hair and four pound eyeglasses.

Ben, you obviously have the tremendous donkey work ethic. Jack and I are seasoned aisle cleaners too. I have delved deeply into my collection of tomes on the subject of linguistics and the term "kowabunga, surf's up" is conspicuously absent. I have stumbled across something in the ancient Persian but though it uses the word "kow" there is no "abunga" suffix. It seems to mean "your tent is on fire and your camel is smouldering". I also hear rumours that my party is growing into the social event of the season. Let me know what you overhear about their schemes. I would like a Stud Muffin cake, in case they ask.

Billie, I am grateful for the earplugs, virtual though they are. Just as well you and Keil Bay stayed in; the wind here was enough to twist a donkey's ears into knots. Insanity, I tell you.

Dougie Donk said...

I'm glad to report that Spring has also sprung here in Scotland. We have the beginnings of green stuff & the woman has finally divested us of our winter rainwear. At last, I get to indulge in proper dustbaths suitable for our noble breed!

My ex-racehorse companion reports that there are vicious horse-eating trolls residing under the bridge which the woman makes him cross when out for a hack. Please ask Jack if he would like a few to assist in his food preparation?

Buddy said...

Dearest Sheaffer - it is me, Sally, Buddy's mom. I was reading your last post at work (a no no) and I burst out laughing at the persian translation - so then I had to explain to my co-worker that Buddy is commnicating with a donkey named Sheaffer (yes they think i am insane) - once I got that out of my mouth - I had to read that part of your post - well I was crying I was laughing so hard - my co worker was laughing as well but I think more at me laughing than at what I was reading to her - once I got a hold of myself - she enjoyed the persian translation as well. I think i will not be reading your posts until i get home.

Love you sweet boy, Jack, Doc and my daughterinlaw - Miss Molly and and Miss Sally!


ponymaid said...

Dougie, it's good to hear from you. Doc was back in his rainwear on Monday for the "weather event" but is nude again as of yesterday. Molly comes with built-in Haflinger weather-proofing systems. Yes, please send over a pod of trolls (or whatever it is they travel in). I'm sure the woman would appreciate the help from some close relatives. We have a troll living under the footbridge here but for some reason I'm the only one who can see him.

Sally, the ancient Persian is a tricky language indeed. Flaming camels crop up with some regularity so I felt safe in interpreting the phrase to mean that. I'm afraid those without equines - or animals of some sort - in their lives sometimes have trouble with the concept of a donkey with a lot to say. In fact, even Jack says he can't believe the amount of "speechifying" one short (I prefer the term abbreviated) donkey can come up with. Your neice, the other Sally, is doing so splendidly that the woman says she will never get the piles of debris raked up, what with all the help Sally is offering. Molly is, as always, extremely Mollyish. Please say hello to the "dreamy golden hottie" - Molly's words, not mine.