Monday, April 6, 2009

Return of Herself

It's been a wonderful four days. Marianne has waited on us hand and hoof, indulging our every whim and dispensing apples and carrots freely. The male human came home in the evening and took up the torch, loading our stalls with hay. We were nicely settled in for a good sleep last night when we saw lights coming down the driveway. Minutes later the barn lights seared our retinas and a horribly familiar voice said "It's me, I'm back, did you miss me?" The other three said polite hellos but I reeled back and wouldn't let her lay a hand on me. "Do I know you? I said. " What are your intentions? Have you made an appointment? She rolled her eyes and left.

You are probably wondering what she brought us from the equine thingy and you probably already have a good idea. It took her forever to unload the bags of dewormers that she purchased. There may be no dewormers left in the entire United States of America. She got us one bag of miniscule horse treats which she doles out like the overseer in the workhouse/orphanage patronized by Oliver Twist. Molly and Doc got a new girth and reins and that's it. She's nearly bankrupted herself in her manic quest for dewormer. We feel she needs some professional help on that front.

Today the tall woman showed up with kind words and treats in her pockets and a worming syringe behind her back. Our woman thinks we won't notice if someone else is weilding the weapon. We noticed. I know there is no point in resisting when these women have made up their minds to do something and bravely swallowed my dose and gritted my teeth. Jack was furious and made sure he dragged the tall woman around the aisle before she cunningly slipped the syringe in the side of his mouth.

Dr. Maggie phoned this evening to check on him and we all have high hopes that the worm poison will do it's work and help Jack derive full benefit from his food once more. The woman is to collect more evidence from his toilet area in two weeks and present it to Dr. Maggie. Typical of the sort of gift herself deems appropriate.

On the brighter side, the woman took many photos while she was away, including some of Willie the mule who won an extreme trail challenge there last year, a mammoth mule called Bess and several handsome mini donkeys. These donkeys take part in mock chariot races, which sounds interesting but not quite something in which I would partake. I'm a stickler for historical accuracy and feel a plastic rubbish bin with the back cut out to create a chariot is unseemly. As are grown men wearing the brush part of a push-broom on their head. It amused the humans but I'm not surprised.

12 comments:

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - good to hear from you. I'm happy that you and Jack had a wonderful time while your woman was away. What is it with her and the dewormers??

Please don't tell Molly - but I think that Bess is a hottie - she sure is a pretty one - where does she live??

Loved the two little ones - very cute.

XXOO

Buddy said...

You are not alone Sheaffer - words fail me and my woman!

XXOO

CindyLouWho said...

O!M!G! I'm speechless!!

billie said...

Sheaffer, I cannot quite believe that "chariot." :0

I'm glad you got some relief from the diet and hopefully the dewormer went down pretty easy.

Ben said...

Sheaffer:
Thank Heavens your secretary human has returned. The silence was deafening, well actually, Jerry's bray is deafening. Nonetheless your words of wisdom were sorely missed by self. Clicker training goes well, the humans seem to have made a breakthrough and are making fine progress. The seem to have gotten the frequent grooming part as well. We have been inside the last few days as the weather was just barely fit for an equine. As such we had our freedom of the barn. I should say that we earned our keep in a most dedicated fashion, not a scrap of loose hay to be found on the floor. I fully intended to clean up the feed room as well but the lock was beyond my skills. Perhaps Jack could make a suggestion? The Dental Demons visited the barn yesterday with their assortment of evil engines of torture. Jerry and I secluded ourself in the far barn and escaped their attentions. Again I thank you for the warnings. Your sacrifice is not in vain. As for the driving, well, that's a revelation! No good can come from that. Especially after we saw the picture of the Charioteer. The Horror, oh my, the horror. There is talk here of upcoming worming. What is this fixation the humans have? If they succeed in wiping out the worms...who is next? Stay warm Good Fellow, apparently Winter is here to stay.
Ben

ponymaid said...

Buddy, the woman is possessed when it comes to dewormers. It has something to do with them being about five times cheaper in the USA, which allows her to buy plenty for us and the sanctuary. Honestly, a truckload of snacks would be preferred by all at the receiving end of the syringe. I have not told Molly of your romantic interest in Bess the gigantic mule - though frankly I find Bess much more attractive myself. Something to do with those noble ears. And I wish to go on record here as stating that I will never, ever, under any circumstances pull the woman around in a modified rubbish bin, no matter how well suited the vehicle is to the driver.

CindyLou, thank your lucky stars that your are a horse of substance and therefore would be unsuited to this travesty of a vehicle. If they ever venture to strap you to such a monstrosity, just back up and sit down and that will take care of that.

Billie, we have been thinking of you and hoping that times are not too difficult. A donkey pressed up against you on each side is always a comfort, as is feeding them an endless supply of snacks.

Ben my boy, you are making progress in leaps and bounds with your clicker training of the humans. Soon they will be grooming you at the first sound of a click. I'm interested in teaching the woman how to curtsey. Jack is planning on a locksmithing clinic for young donkeys, which you may wish to attend. He is legendary for his skill in deciphering the workings of virtually any lock or handle mechanism. My advice on those faux chariots is to never let one of those barrel things out of your sight lest the humans sneak up behind you and fasten your person to it. The horror indeed.

South Valley Girl said...

Sheaffer, I wanted to weigh in at this point and tell you how much I enjoy your posts. You have the most wonderful sense of humor (I particularly like your comments about Sally, your cat) (I admit to a weakness for felines), and are so very tolerant of the strange and puzzling antics of herself. How kind you are to her, how compassionate you are in the face of her weaknesses and obsessions.

I have a list of blogs I check every day, and I always save yours (i.e., the best) for last. You have a devoted fan in sunny Albuquerque, New Mexico. Best to Jack.

South Valley Girl said...

Sheaffer, I wanted to weigh in at this point and tell you how much I enjoy your posts. You have the most wonderful sense of humor (I particularly like your comments about Sally, your cat) (I admit to a weakness for felines), and are so very tolerant of the strange and puzzling antics of herself. How kind you are to her, how compassionate you are in the face of her weaknesses and obsessions.

I have a list of blogs I check every day, and I always save yours (i.e., the best) for last. You have a devoted fan in sunny Albuquerque, New Mexico. Best to Jack.

South Valley Girl said...

Sorry, didn't understand the Google message I got and posted twice.

ponymaid said...

South Valley Girl, how delightful to have you visit! And twice just means it's doubly good. I myself am a great fancier of cats and am very pleased to have Sally in residence. We spend quite a lot of time together and she likes to bat my whiskers. She also enjoys leaping out and pretending to bring me down by a hind leg, like an antelope (the woman says more like a small, portly buffalo). You see what I must put up with...

Buddy said...

South Valley Girl - you are within a days drive from me. Perhaps you could come and visit me - I am a handsome palomino - I love visitors. My mom and I live in Pahrump, Nevada.

XXOO

South Valley Girl said...

Oh Buddy, aren't you kind to invite me to visit. I think Nevada is more than a day's drive from Albuquerque, but still, it's a destination worth considering. And of course I would be assured of the most exalted company when I arrived...

And Sheaffer, I share the same kind of conflicted relationship with my feline, DaisyCat, as you have with yours. One moment she's curled up on me, purring sweetly, and the next minute I look up and see one baleful eye peering around the corner, planning unimaginable mayhem on my person. As strange as humans can be, I do think cats are stranger... but they ARE wonderful mousers, aren't they? Always handy in a barn, where there are more than enough indignities to go around without rodents, too.

Wishing you sunny skies and NO DEWORMING -

SVG