Monday, November 26, 2007

It's Here

First of all, I want to stress that if my faithful reader GALE were running the world, she would bring order out of chaos and would never allow an alien creature, the likes of which appeared in our paddock today, anywhere near civilized equines. But of course she doesn't and the mad woman who runs this place appeared with said creature and told us to make it welcome.

It's a strange, 31inch tall thing called a mule and it has a voice that sounds like it's been gargling with gravel since birth. Only two years old, and has a vocabulary that would make a guttersnipe blush. It addressed me as "Yo, Grampa". Then it asked me if I wanted to rassle. Good God. Doc is absolutely smitten with the thing and acts as though he's just given birth. Molly mare hates it because she only arrived in June and feels it's a threat to the social order. I feel it's a threat to the entire civilized world. She and I stood under the trees and glared daggers at it while Doc simpered around. The dog made an effort to chase it but hastily exited at high speed with the mini demon hot on her heels.

Tonight the woman has made a bed for it in the aisle so it can settle in and none of us will hurt it. Pahhh! The thing could take on a street gang and come out with not a hair ruffled. She spent a long time talking to all of us and explaining it's life story. It came here from Texas in the summer and has had five homes in the last few months . It was on it's way to a meat auction so of course she felt it should come here...It has not been christened yet but I suggested Little Damien. It's terrified of people and the woman spent ages getting it calm enough that she could take it's halter off. Maybe she'll come to her senses and stick it out at the curb with the blue boxes. She says I'm jealous but in fact I'm just being the voice of reason.


Elfwood said...

It is just as I feared. The dreaded mini-mule Pistachio is equally unrefined - a veritable guttersnipe that is a danger to man and beast alike. I suggest that you arrange to drop Little Damien on the next truck back to Texas - there must be a purveyor of ducks or potatoes in the neighbourhood who could help you out.
Another option might be an offering to the other-abled wolf, who might appreciate a delectable dinner of mini-mule. All you need to do is casually leave a gate open... nature will take care of the rest.

Elfwood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gale said...

Sheaffer, I thank you for your compliment in today's entry. I feel like I'm now famous.

Thank your lucky stars that Little Damien is a sort of distant equine, at any rate. Now, my poor donkeys have had to deal with a young calf that occasionally manages to sneak into their pasture. Talk about horrified! They get so indignant (rightfully so, I might add) that I must immediately run and fix the fence where said little bovine broke through.

I'm willing to bet that if you give it just a little time, you might be able to buddy up with L.D. and get him on your side, teach him the correct (ahem, donkey) way of doing things, and perhaps he'll share some goodies with you. Sounds like the poor little fella has had a rough time and needs a friend. Of course, he's at a distinct disadvantage being only half donkey, so you'll always have the upper hoof, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

Poor you... I have to live with animals to...