Thursday, February 7, 2008

Alas Poor Rabbit, I Knew Him - Slightly

Yesterday while the woman was serving us breakfast, the dog was very busy with something on the lawn. As the woman made her way toward the house we heard her say "What the...oh no! Drop it, drop it, ewwwww!" The dog looked guilty and tried to hide the fact she had bloody fur sticking to the corners of her mouth. Whenever the dog is guilty, she actually smiles in a feeble attempt to ingratiate herself - the effect this time was positively macabre.

It was indeed my nervous friend - I think. Mind you he has a large extended family who all look the same, so maybe he will return. Something had murdered him during the night and the crows had dropped his remains on the lawn. By the time the dog found him, he was a shadow of his former self. As soon as the woman and dog went in the house, the crows retreived their prize and took it up in a tree to discuss ownership. An avian brawl broke out, with crows screaming and shoving and bits of rabbit falling to the ground. TJ of course had to rush over and paw and snort at the fallout, exclaiming "This here rabbut is ded." He has a genius for stating the obvious.

Doc and TJ spend hours wrestling or "rasslin" as they call it. TJ has his halter on for now so he can be caught more easily and Doc uses it to pick him up and shake him like a towel. Unfortunately TJ is easily overstimulated and becomes crazed with excitement. When Doc finally releases him, he disappears with a muffled thud under the snow but emerges, troll-like, and attacks Doc's lower legs with great glee. I try to stay hidden, but if he discovers me, he hurls himself upon me, trying out various illegal and painful wrestling holds (none of which have ever been seen in true sporting competition).

TJ's stall at the end of the aisle has two boards which form the fourth wall and he delighted in flipping them up and escaping. The humans then devised a clever system that locks them into place. Those worked for two nights and then he figured out how to pry them off. Then they devised a third system to lock the second system and he figured a way around that. They're planning another attempt to confine him and will install it on the weekend. For now he spends the night in the aisle, strutting around and saying "Hahaha, old stoopid donkey's in jail, mules rool, hahaha!" I'd throttle him, if I could just get out of my room.


robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, it sounds like your woman is getting just as aggravated at TJ as you are, what with the moving wall and all of that. Maybe you can convince DOC to use the old "Over the rainbow" hold to flip TJ over the fence, and the woman MAY ignore it....PROBLEM OVER !! Maybe not though, just a thought. Or maybe you can talk Iron Snout Molly and Doc into double teaming him....hmmmmmmm....possibilities!!
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Iron Snout Molly - how fitting! Thank goodness she can't get her hoofs on any lipstick - it would be like a nightmarish version of Joan Crawford. If she did find some lipstick, she'd just eat it anyway.

I have suggested your plan to the two horses and Molly is very much on-side but Doc actually seems to have a soft spot for the mini-mule-mauler...very strange.

Gale said...

Awwww, so sorry to hear about your rabbit friend and the crows' raucous struggle for possession of the remains -- nature can be cruel at times. I hope you can befriend one of Mr. Rabbit's offspring when spring arrives.

Perhaps you could teach TJ the "Birdie Alert" game. When a bird lands in your territory, you shout "Birdie Alert" and TJ will race over to chase the bird away. That would sure keep TJ well exercised AND out of your hair (literally). But, knowing you (as I think I do), you might be tempted to "cry wolf" just for the fun of it.

Uh oh, so TJ's making jail breaks! Smart little bugger underneath that cuteness, isn't he (apologies, but I do find him cute)? I doubt that your woman would consider locking him OUT of his stall where his evening hay is placed? He won't like that one bit, but he might soon learn that crime doesn't pay.