Much as he irritates and torments me, I feel a certain responsibility to show TJ the do's and don'ts of living here. He came up here from Texas last summer and has no clue about the hidden dangers of winter.
This morning I was telling him that jumping up and down on the frozen surface of the water trough would eventually end in an icy drenching and he said "Lalalala, I can't hear you, I'm making too much noise. Hahahahah!" He continued his infantile kaboinging and eventually, seeing that I had made a point of turning away, he ran off to commit more vandalism.
One hard lesson I learned as a youngster was to never, ever, put your tongue on a metal surface on a cold winter's day. I was trying to explain this to TJ, who kept saying "Yeahyeahyeah, blahblahblah, you're not the boss of me ole furface." Whereupon, he rushed up to the metal gate and jammed his tongue against it. I must confess, I had mixed emotions. I couldn't resisit saying "I TOLD YOU SO" but seeing him struggling and whimpering, I felt a slight twinge of remorse. Doc came over and gave him a hard shove on the backside but that only caused him to howl louder. The woman appeared and made reassuring noises but when she tried to help him, he came unglued (except for his tongue) and threw himself backwards. We still have bits of tongue welded to the middle bar of the gate. Revolting.
He blames me entirely - of course. "Thish ish all yor fault" he said, "jusht you wait an shee, I will caush you lotsha pain." Wonderful. Now in addition to his hyperactivity he has a speech impediment. I can't wait for winter to end.