Saturday, February 16, 2008

Shamefully Neglected Donkey

I would like it to be known that I am not receiving my full quota of attention from the woman. What with planning the rescue of another donkey and the time she devotes to TJ, I am simply not getting enough of what is currently called "face time". I don't like it.

Today was actually sunny and we were able to warm up somewhat in front of the barn. The snow is so deep that we stay in that area, which is more navigable for short legs, but which allows TJ easier access for tormenting me. I got him in a scruff-of-the-neck hold this morning and he squealed like an angry pig. Ironic, as he is constantly using that hold on me and I remain stoically silent.

The snow is so deep in the fields that our resident wolf has been using the farm lane behind the barn for commuting. He's been with us for a few years and makes his home in the wooded valley at one end of our property. I am generally extremely anti-canine but he and I have agreed to ignore each other (I have the same arrangement with the house canine). He is very large and has a huge coat and bushy tail. His footprints are the same size as the woman's, she takes a size 6 but I don't know what that is in wolf.

He's extremely preoccupied - with what we don't know - and trots along, oblivious to his surroundings. Molly and the woman have surprised him several times while out riding. When he finally notices them, he gasps with surprise and does an excellent side-pass before tearing off into the woods. The humans have also surprised him when walking our own canine and she woofs at him and then hides behind the humans' legs. I can empathize with him as he seems to be a contemplative, reclusive bachelor who wants to be left to his own thoughts.

We don't have a photo of him as he moves too fast but the woman is putting a photo of our own canine on here. Like TJ, she is also a rescue case. She was a young single mother of six who was abandoned in Ohio in the middle of winter. A kind lady took her in, found homes for her offspring and taught her things like how to climb stairs (she hadn't lived inside before). My humans offered her a home and here she is two years later. Of course, SHE gets to live in the house...I'll say no more on that front as emotions run high (well, mine do - the humans won't even discuss it). Her name is Penny and her ancestry is a complete mystery. I suspect she crawled out of a canine spare parts bin.


DelightfulR said...

Hi Sheaffer.
My mom's been reading for a while and she really enjoys your wit and charm!
How incredible to have a resident wolf. I'd be scared. But i'm a horse. I like to be scared. Sometimes I have a bear, but he never gets to close!
Too bad about all your snow. Our snow has finally left and today it was even sunny!

ponymaid said...

Hullo there delightfulr, I'm glad you could join our expanding family of horses - we have Smokey and Buddy and maybe some others on my blog who haven't "gone public" yet.

My two horse friends here also like to pretend to be scared of things, especially when it's cold and windy. Frankly, I don't quite understand burning calories unnecessarily, but they find it highly invigourating.

We have a bear in the same wooded valley that the wolf inhabits. It's a busy spot owing to several springs that pop up year round. The woman says it's like Manhattan without people. Our bear is quite shy,too, which is good because his foot prints are certainly large. There are also lots of deer and various other animals. Our canine is very jumpy when we walk in there.

Please tell us how you got rid of your snow - is there something special I can do to make it melt?

robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, just eat LOTS of bean burritos....the snow may not melt but TJ will leave you alone!!....LOL....
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

It's one of those global warming things they talk about, but it must be hogwash when it is that cold at night!!
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, Rambo is obviously a highly trained guerilla donkey - that level of bombing accuracy can only be attained after arduous practice. To hit only the handle of a mug is the height of professionalism. On the other hand, TJ is only capable of very inaccurate and messy carpet bombing. There's A LOT of collateral damage.

I may try out that burrito idea - though the woman might be suspicious if I ask her to make repeated trips to Taco Bell for vast quantities of bean-based foods. Knowing TJ, he would find the repercussions hilarious and try to out do me.

Uncle Ed said...

Happy Family Day to you Sheaffer,

I hope all is well with you and your extended family even the black "sheep" (mule) TJ.

Sorry I haven't blogged you earlier but I have been in secret negotiations with Edwards and he has assured me (as much as you can trust a politicians word) that he is going to throw his support behind you Sheaffer. He says that he would be proud to support the dark equine candidate. After all he says it is the donkey party! That means that there are only two more hurdles to cross before we can claim victory.

Upon my return I have read your recent blogs and noticed you have a wolf. A very much misunderstood creature. Is it a lone wolf or are there more of its kind out there? There is a trick you can teach Doc and Molly to get them to be less afraid of the lone wolf (not a pack). Tell them to face the wolf and charge. This confuses the wolf and he will run away. I also works for dogs, coyotes and coy-dogs. We taught this trick to our horse Dakota too well. He now chases any canine and once even took the tip of a tail off one. We never had any more problem after that.

I have got to go now, see what I can do about getting Clinton on your side.

Uncle Ed

ponymaid said...

Thank you for your ongoing support, Uncle Ed. I can see you're doing an excellent job of building momentum for my campaign. Is Edwards the one with the perfectly sculpted hair? I hope he can be trusted...

Our wolf appears to be a one-off. He may have a social disorder that prevents him from mixing well with other wolves. I much prefer him to TJ, truth be told, and would trust him before the demon mule any day.

I'm most interested in Dakota's canine tail removal adventure - I hope you kept it and had it mounted? I've come close but have never had that level of success.

Finn the Wonder Pony said...

Oh, Poor Sheaffer!
I feel your pain! I too suffer from neglect. I am a wondrous white Percheron Mare. My human is a nice lady, and used to shower ALL the attention on me. Then, a few years ago, she got the bright idea of giving me a baby. Then the baby got all the attention. Finally shipped her off to school, I was getting fawned on again, and my human decided I was lonely. So I got a pony for Christmas. He's okay, but he gets far too much of the attention.
Here's my solution... any time the woman is around, go to her and proffer the part of your body you wish rubbed, scratched, kissed or fondled. She may try to shoo you away but don't let her; take one step away to get her to relax, then sidepass right back to her like a magnet until she gives in.
You have my sympathy that you're about to become "uncle" to yet another rescue... at least this time it's a donkey so it might be easier for you to civilize. The quicker you can teach the new one good manners, the faster things will get back to normal. Bonus, if the humans see you educating the new one, you may get extra points for that!

Gale said...

All this talk of wolves and bears makes me quite nervous, but then I get edgy when I see raccoon tracks in the mud.

Face Time -- every donkey’s favorite thing (right up there with treats and brushing) -- I suggest you consider adding this to the Donkeys’ Bill of Rights. When this document is published, it should be framed and hung in every barn, don’t you think?

Penny looks like a pleasant canine, with beautiful markings…she’s even wearing a bib! Lucky for her that your human came along to provide a nice home. I bet Penny gets a LOT of face time. If only there were some way for you to gain access to the house…I tried this as a youngster with my little donkey, but he did not want to leave the house…it was in the very hot summertime, so I imagine the air-conditioned living room accounted for his reluctance to return outdoors. Sheaffer, if you think the tack room is interesting, just imagine all the goodies in the house…you’d be busy for weeks!

ponymaid said...

Pam, I'm a tad worried about your comment regarding babies - you don't think I could suddenly find myself giving birth do you? I'm not sure of the steps involved, but when we had a horse infant here, it just appeared in a stall one morning. I wouldn't want to find myself a single parent...I employ your method of focusing human attention on myself but that damnable mule trumps me in the "ahhhh" department every time.

Gale, did you really eject a miniscule donkey into the searing heat of the day? Next time you must make him comfortable on a plush bed and offer him endless mint juleps with ice. It's the least you can do...

Finn the Wonder Pony said...

No, Sheaffer,

I don't think you could suddenly find yourself giving birth. There was MUCH commotion and hubbub for a whole year beforehand. And, you kind of have to agree to it. She caught me in a weak moment. So just say NO and you'll be fine.

Unfortunately, that doesn't work for the rescues the woman seems to like to bring home. Since the next one is a donkey, get to it the minute it comes in the yard and recruit it to fight along side you against the evil mule. When the woman sees you being so nice to the newbie, she will shower you with love and treats for being such a good sport. That's what has happened with my new pony, which arrived on a van; so much easier and faster than the other way!