Friday, March 21, 2008

The Damnable "Cute" Factor

Another six weeks has trampled us underfoot and left us dazed and winter-weary in the snow. That means the return of our foot man. We had visitors so they came and stood quietly in the aisle while he went in to confront the mule-terrorist.

He's a very calm and quiet person who spent a lot of time reassuring TJ and speaking to him softly. TJ did all the usual moves, including climbing the walls. The foot man was able to snap the shank on his halter and TJ tried to knock him off his feet for awhile and slammed him into the wall as best he could but the man just kept on being calm. Eventually, he got TJ calm enough that he could pick up a front foot and he even dropped the shank so TJ can learn to "ground tie". I must reluctantly admit, TJ was much better than the last time, which was also his first time. TJ has asked me to let him tell his version of events and I suppose I must let him because I can't afford to have any more hair pulled out. It's a tissue of lies, of course. Be warned.

"A guy come over an clumb inna my room so I tole him ta beat it. I go snork,snork real loud an mak faces at him an when he touch me I go blam,boom,crash and throw him arond. He don rassle good so then I think, if I let him play on my foot, he ma go away. He go 'blahblahblah,TJ goodboy'. An then he clumb out. So I win anuther battul. TJ rool!!!!"

You see what I mean. I made the mistake of telling him about the Tooth Fairy and how if he hides the tooth Dr. Maggie took out, he might get a pleasant surprise under his bedding in the morning. He said "I hate ole fairy broads, I'm gonna jump her an tak all the surprises." It's the Santa Claus thing all over again.

I was last to have my feet done and was absolutely horrified to hear the man say TJ is at the top of his list of favourites because he is highly intelligent and is trying very hard! What?! I have been at the top of his list for years and years and now this?? I was so shocked that I nearly fell over sideways. I sighed deeply and lowered my head to the floor and the woman intervened and said "How could you say that in front of him??" and he hastily said I was still at the top but am now sharing the spot with TJ. The traitor. Something young and cute comes along and I'm demoted. I feel like a middle-aged executive wife, with TJ obviously playing the role of "Trophy Wife". I'm crushed by the very idea. Thank goodness the visitors gave me lots of attention - though they do blather on about TJ's incredible cuteness.


robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, what kinda good stuff was in your easter bucket? That looks to be a brand new spanking clean bucket right from the store, and must have some really good stuff in it, please let us all know just what kind of special treats a great donkey like yourself gets !!
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, by the way, you have a magnificent neck there buddy....lots of power in THAT bad boy!!
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, although the bucket didn't contain the complete boxed set of Mozart I had hoped for, it was indeed a brand new blue bucket and contained apples, carrots, peppermint snacks and a toy (which I will give to TJ). Oh, and a bow, which I dismantled.

I am so pleased that you recognize the generous proportions of my neck. My humans refer to it as a large fat deposit, so you can see how insensitive and inaccurate they can be. Can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak.