These are truly the halcyon days of spring. Sun, light breezes, new grass pusing up through the dirt and lots of time to loll around in our dust bowl, recovering from winter. Best of all, there are no flies yet but that will change soon enough. They make their appearance just as the last of the snow is slinking away from the shady spots.
The woman is once again climbing aboard Doc and Molly but sometimes, depending on their level of liveliness, she spins them around on the long rope first. She is so hobbit-like in stature that she uses a plastic box to ascend the lofty heights and she also uses it to conceal her hard-shell head covering while she is doing her horse spinning. Today she glanced left and right, and assuming there were no donkeys in the vicinity, she stashed the headgear in the box. Foolish woman, I spied her every move.
Soon she was busy chivvying Molly around in circles. I made a stealthy approach to the box and examined the head cover. It had the promising look of a food bowl but in fact is simply an empty vessel, much like her head. It did have an unpleasant musty hair smell so I carried it off by one of it's straps, meaning to drop it in a hole or possibly a manure pile. Too late, her shifty eyes spotted me.
"For the love of *&^%$% ", she screeched, "how old do you think you are, you bloody lunatic?" You see- when I say she's becoming positively addled, this is the sort of thing I mean. She knows perfectly well I'll be 14 on May 10th. She's the one planning the party and now she's forgotten my age?? She pursued me, towing Molly behind her like an unwilling barge. She finally threatened me with the long whip and I dropped the unattractive head covering. I withdrew in a dignified manner, leaving her to bemoan the slight scratches on the offending object.
Now on to the Doc news. Yesterday the foot man came and herself always has the camera ready just in case there are any memorable moments she feels should be inflicted on an unsuspecting public. She took a few shots of Sally playing with sticks in the sun and then put the camera on the windowsill while she picked up some litter. Silly baggage had left it in operational mode. Doc strolled over and pushed it around for a bit and then tried to pick it up. As he explored further, it made some clicking sounds which he found appealing but as he was walking off with it, she materialized out of nowhere and snatched it from him in an abrupt and frankly peevish manner. After a good cleaning, it seems the device is still operational but somehow Doc managed to capture some images. He SAYS they're images but we're not sure if they're complete random rubbish or the work of a brilliant artist who has discovered his medium. I'll let you be the judge.
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13 comments:
OMG, Sheaaffer, I cannot stop laughing long enough to type a response. As soon as my fingers begin to work again, I will reply!
Hay Sheaffer - I think Jack is an artist - the red - so bright - so beautiful - my mom said it would be nice stretched over a frame and hung on the wall - whatever that means.
XXOO
Gale, there is a certain tension between Doc and self. I have offered to be his manager and he's still thinking about it. My first action would be to rename his creations - for example the red piece would be "Etude en Rouge Numero Cinq". He says all those foreign words make him nervous and he wants to keep it simple. I would also rename him "The artist formerly know as Doc" and he says that just scares the &^%$%^ out of him. As you can see, he may not be ready for the world of galleries and one-horse art shows just yet. He may be more of an installation artist, and as it would give him a broader physical space in which to create, that could be a plus.
Buddy, the art work is Doc's but Jack also feels he has an artistic side. He paints his stall front with his gruel on a daily basis. Doc says he would be thrilled if you had your human stretch his "Red Thing" all over the wall.
I think Doc's work is reminiscent of Rothko, but with his own bold touch. I can't believe he isn't just leaping at the chance to have you manage his new career - I feel certain you would do it splendidly!
Perhaps the woman should set up paint and easels and let you all have an "art day." You could auction off the canvases afterward and buy all sorts of goodies with your earnings.
Sheaffer, please convey to Doc that I think his pictures are wonderful. I think that they should be entered in the Markham Fair this year!! I spoke to your woman a while ago about coming up and taking more pictures of you for the above event. It was strictly an oversight in not entering the picture of your noble nostril last year and having the picture of TJ's eye winning top award. I will endeavour to redeem myself at this year's showing.
Last night during our grooming session we were swarmed by the largest mosquitos I have ever seen. We have never had mosquitos until after black flies so I hope this isn't some mutant, very large strain! Our only compensation for enduring the ugly winter has been a relatively insect free period until the end of May. Global warming do you think?
Sheaffer,
You can inform the Docinator that the "RED THING" is now the wallpaper on my computer monitor..just looking at it makes me laugh, and that is good for my blood pressure.
The red thing I think is probably Doc's tongue, out of focus as it is too close to the camera to be in focus, but it IS STUNNING in its impact!
To you sir, congrads on purloining the helmet..your stealth and logistics are good as usual..also your detachment twoards the womans meanness over the whole thing. You would thing she might know that your scientific mind was simply investigating a new form of object to determine if donkey poop would adversely effect its surface..how selfish of her!
Keep it up guys!
Mr Gale
Okay, now that I'm no longer crippled from laughter, I am happy to learn that Doc is beginning to earn his keep, though it remains to be seen whether he'll be carrying a rider or becoming an abstract photographer.
Hopefully, the woman will never attempt any donkey spinning. If she does, you have my permission to drop the helmet into the manure pile or, better yet, do as Rambo once did with Mr Gale's coffee cup! But don't get caught!
Too bad YOU didn't get a hold of that camera...you could have recorded valuable evidence for future blackmail. You never know when that might be useful.
Oops - I guess I need glasses as I thought I was reading about Jack - it was Doc? I bet that red pic is of Miss Molly!!
XXOO
Billie, Doc is very taken with the idea of calling himself Doc Rothko - he thinks it makes him sound like an old-time outlaw. He would. I have requested an artist's smock, an easel and a beret and the woman just laughed at me. There is no allowance here for developing one's artistic self. Philistines.
Nachodonkey, you are most welcome anytime to photograph my nostril in it's many moods. I am very talented at nostril posing, if I do say so myself. We too have seen the enemy and it's name is mosquito. How we can have the remains of snow and insects at the same time is simply an an act of unmitigated evil on the part of the weather gods.
Mr. Gale, I informed Doc of your installation of his creation as "wallpaper" (in your front parlour, I presume?) and he is still looking very smug. We think it may be his left tonsil but it's hard to say with such an intimate portrait. It could just as easily be his right tonsil. I'm still trying to explain to the woman that I was simply safety-testing her head cover but she is accusing me of manipulating the truth. I might as well be living in Salem at the time of the witch burnings for all the respect I get around here.
Gale, we were a tad worried about living with a temperamental artist but by this afternoon Doc was back to branch wrestling and scratching his bottom on the fence, so his artistic foray may have been but a blip. The woman once tried to spin me on the long rope and I showed her that I had learned the technique simply by watching. I did a brisk walk, trot and canter in both directions and turned to face her. She was sufficiently stunned to have never tried that again. Gale, as usual, you are miles ahead of me in seeing possibilities. I will try to secure one of those recording cameras and simply let the woman hang herself with her own rope, so to speak.
Buddy, Molly of course claims that is a picture of her tongue with the sun setting in one corner. If you believe that I have a large bridge in the city of New York you may wish to purchase...
Sheaffer, I have a very amusing tale about your old friend Parker. The English Lady requested my help in leading her thoroughbred on the first excursion of the season into the forest.
Parker hates to see Tara go for a walk without him and head butted the gate in a vain attempt to accompany us. When we returned the English Lady dismounted and took her into the paddock. My horses and donkey came up on the other side of the fence to see what was going on so we were all standing around having a nice chat and enjoying the sun. Tara, still dressed in her saddle and bridle was apparently very much in season and much to our amazement we looked over to see Parker attached to her back end like a sheet of fly paper that was not coming off. Those little stumpy skinny legs and portly body were a sight to behold. To Dream the Impossible Dream!! No one told him he was tiny. What he lacks in stature he makes up for in determination. We had a wonderful laugh at his expense. He didn't notice that his love just gazed into the distance with a bored expression oblivious to the antics going on at the rear.
Nachodonkey,
"...and much to our amazement we looked over to see Parker attached to her back end like a sheet of fly paper that was not coming off."
This absolutely MADE my day. Thank you!
Oh Nachodonkey, you have seen the dark and seamy side of Parker donkey. He fancies himself very much the ladies' man and is what my granny would have called a "masher" and "lounge lizard" - without the lounge, of course. He is obsessed with the - ehmmm -earthier things in life. I'm glad his lady friend treats him as the gnat-like irritant he truly is.
Gale, this is the same donkey who, in a fit of jealousy, tried to murder a new-born horse. It's not at all surprising he's an equine pervert - I'll wager anything he has naughty pictures of lady horses all over his stall walls.
Gale, you just had to be there...ha ha ha!!!
Ponymaid, I was very surprised to see this part of his character as he has been our neighbour for years and never an inkling of impropriety. No lewd pictures in his stall at least none that were in plain sight. I am at a loss to describe the intense look of lust on his little face for his large dark eyed beauty....oh dear, I am laughing again. The English Lady kept trying to shoo him away but he was very persistent and dodged around her with ease. This display kept up for about twenty minutes. She, of course blamed poor Tara and called her a floozie!!
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