Thursday, July 23, 2009

She Just Won't STAY Fired

Honestly, what is wrong with the woman? Here we were having a perfectly grand time with Marianne when who should show up like a tax bill but Herself with Molly in tow. Was I not clear enough when I dismissed her? I will simply stare through her until I can fashion a new scheme to deal with her irresponsibility.

Molly is so full of herself we could tie a string to her, let her float aloft and sell advertising space on her gigantic inflated head. You'd think she'd scaled Kilamanjaro single-hoofedly, carrying a load of bricks - in reality it was worse - she had to carry the woman. I mean, really, it was only the Adirondacks. She's still blathering on about her two new boyfriends and her BFF (???), Annie.

We boys had a mainly restful time, punctuated by Doc screaming Molly's name out on an hourly basis. Might as well live with Stanley Kowalski. Marianne is not stingy with the hay and assured the woman we are the most sociable group for whom she has ever chambermaided. The woman calls us a group of micro-managing social directors. A perfect example of why we prefer Marianne.

When Molly hopped out of the trailer, we three boys began a chorus of greetings that could be heard in Manhattan. We snuffled her all over and she did indeed smell like someone who had just returned from several sweaty days in the mountains. Doc could not contain himself and performed a happy dance that consisted of running in circles whilst leaping in the air like a spring lamb. He then herded Molly out to pasture as if she'd never been here before. Molly just looks like the world-weary traveller -if she chewed gum, she'd be popping it. She slept so deeply last night that her snores rattled the windows.

The woman did corner me and skritch my ears and make disgusting kissing noises on my nose in an effort to get some sort of detente underway. If she goes so far as to employ carrots as a peace offering my resolve will be severely tested.


Buddy said...

WHAT? Molly has TWO new boyfriends - how did this happen?

Well I think carrots and gummy worms will help mend the fence between you and your woman - yes your woman - she did come back - so that means something - doesn't it??

Please tell Molly I'm a bit miffed at her!

Your Fren,

Finn the Wonder Pony said...

She needs to bring out the gummy worms, carrots, and Mints to regain your affections. OTOH, at least she didn't try to enlist you to carry the camping equipment and/or rations up the mountains. I still think you need to get an electric gate installed so you can lock her out and keep Marianne the next time Herself goes off galavanting about the countryside.

South Valley Girl said...

Shaeffer, we can only hope that Herself's time away has taught her the true worth of donkeys. I'm sure Molly's shenanigans on the trail have left her with a greater appreciation of your sterling qualities.

And yes, carrots are DEFINITELY in order. Truckloads of them.

In solidarity


billie said...

Sheaffer, you have made my day. I couldn't help but laugh at the image of Molly floating in the sky with advertising emblazoned on her Very Large Head. :0

Here's to many reconciliatory treats and goodies. Surely as the woman types these missives in she gleans some clue as to what it will take to regain your affection?!

I hope Molly comes back down to earth and realizes she is about to lose a very fine boyfriend in Buddy if she cannot control herself while out and about. You have, of course, warned us all about her fickle affection.

Team R&R send their regards - they are slick as seals having finally shed out all evidence that we even HAD a winter, and Redford gets bossier by the day. Rafer Johnson stole a tube of hoof ointment so that I wouldn't run out before I got to him, gripping it carefully in his teeth so that I could not muscle it away.

Life is easier with donkeys b/c they let me know every moment what's what. I never have to guess. :)

ponymaid said...

Buddy, the fickle nature of mares knows no bounds. Doc is watching Molly like the proverbial hawk and goodness knows, he has a large enough visual to keep him focused when he's grazing behind her. The woman continues to fawn over me and I'm content to let her as long as it is accompanied by food bribes. I told Molly you were aghast at her flirty antics with the other boys and she just bumped me aside and ate the patch of grass I was working on.

CindyLouWho, I'm very fearful that Herself will be taken with the idea of my being a Sherpa donkey and forcing me to trek after her and Molly carrying everything including a tea pot and stove. She'd do it, you know. She's still channeling her inner Scrooge and doling out the worms and mints in miserly portions.

South Valley Girl, she talks a good line but I'm not convinced she's entirely sincere. Jack says he's too old to remain aloof for long and he has been accepting all patting and treats without hesitation. He told me, "Give it up boy, yer wastin' yer time. Ya can't take the humin outta them no matter how hard ya try." He's got a point, I suppose.

Billie, I'm so glad to see you here. I went to your blog and the sign said closed til autumn. Phew. I need all my friends to rally round in my time of crisis. As to Molly, I envision her as one of those biblical plagues, like boils or grasshoppers, that are sent to try one's soul. She decided to wash my neck yesterday as a sign of affection and it's taken me hours to remove the green, sticky residue. Redford sounds full to the brim with the essential life-force these days. I understand summer camp can be helpful in diminishing some of that energy. Just as long as he's not given matches and an axe. It seems to me that the very earnest Rafer my be pondering a medical career. Dr. Rafer Johnson - it does have a ring to it, doesn't it?

billie said...

Sheaffer, I have put an update on my blog - which explains some of what is going on over here.

No matter what, though, I cannot stop visiting my favorite blogs online, so never fear, I will be keeping track of life in your kingdom. Which reminds me - I feel the need for a Jack update!

ponymaid said...

Billie, good heavens, I had no idea you were having such difficulties with your internal engineering and bearing structures. And for so long. I was shocked to hear you fell downstairs but the outcome seems to be promising. Strangely, the woman and Molly have the same mis-alignment (or whatever it's called)as each other. I think they're both warped, to be honest. I am most relieved to hear you will be dropping in on a regular basis to lend your support in my ongoing struggle.

billie said...

Sheaffer, I have not been in pain for more than a week or so twice during the past two years - and now - but the misalignment has apparently been there for awhile.

How fascinating to find another pair of horse/rider mirrors. :) I went out a couple of days ago to tell Keil Bay that we share yet another thing, and he made his googoo eyes and looked very sympathetic.

Stay strong, Sheaffer. One day something will shift in the woman's head and she will forget she's got you on a diet.

May the Muffins (stud, of course) be with you!

Buddy said...

Oh Billie - you are a riot - you have my mom ROFLHAO.

Sheaffer - I am THROUGH with Molly. I just can't stand her with other boys. Doc I can deal with as he is a bit wacky - but new ones - I'm done.

My mom loves the pics of the trail ride - especially the one of Smokey and Tucker - is it? Nice photography she says - whatever that is.

Your fren,

ponymaid said...

Billie, I'm afraid the Stud Muffin force-field is very low around here but I appreciate your encouragement. Someday I will eat twelve in a row and experience Nirvanah (the woman says it's spelled "colic"). She's highly unspiritual.

Buddy, Molly actually seems somewhat preturbed by the news of your breakup. I think it's good for her pony ego to be taken down a peg or two. You can see more photos on my picasa site if you like. Just ignore the ones of her.

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - great pics - Molly Who?

Hope things are better with you and your woman!

BumbleVee said...

Sheaffer!! you beat me to the punch and saw the donkeys before I got around to letting you know I had some special pics on my posting! That's what I get for being a slowpoke!

Yes, I had a great day visiting the donkeys while I was out in B.C.

I was telling my sister about you and how I had become interested in mini donkeys...and she said...hey, I have a friend who has a herd of donkeys....... ... I said... "say no more" and off we drove. They were all so friendly and just like you they loved a pet and a scritch.... ohhh....I would love to have one, but sadly the neighbours might complain.... and I think there are probably by-laws against having them in the city.....

Thanks for coming to visit them all on my blog.....

I'm heading back out there in a week...but, probably won't go bothering the nice lady again... I'll have to just entertain myself with my sisters two horses and 5 cats this time...

It is so hot and dry out there that forest fires are burning in several areas very near to the farming community...and everybody is on high is a stressful time for animal owners.... nobody sleeps much because they have to be ready for anything at anytime... I wish they would get some rain....

ponymaid said...

BumbleVee, surely, surely your neighbours wouldn't mind one very small donkey in your yard...? Said donkey could do the rounds of the area, fostering good-will toward those of us with long ears and large intellects. They simply don't know what a serious gap exists in their relations with the wonderful world of donkeys.

Our weather has been absolutely miserable. It has broken records for being cold and rainy and shows no signs of giving up. I think I have moss growing on my hooves. I may have to pack up and come to stay in your yard for a bit. I have suggested a canoe for our paddock but nothing has appeared so far.

Smokey33 said...

Hey Sheaffer... FYI, Molly was a sooper trooper out there in the mountains. Slopping through the rivers, hiking up the mountains and generally cleaning the trail of hanging branches while she moved through the paths like it was a Wendy's drive thru. I could hear her breathing from four horse lengths away. I myself had a new leader on board and was restricted to behaving most of the time. Tucker toted our regular leader and behaved as if he was leading the Queen around herself.. just to show off for Annie. Although she is a looker. The accomadations in the mountains are a bit small as Tucker and I managed to shred various body parts through the nights as we tried various wrestling positions over the fence. But you know how it is... I am used to being injured to some degree. Wish I had more of that stuff they call bubble wrap. Take is easy on the Mollster.. she is one of the better ones! Miss you too buddy.

billie said...

Sheaffer, I have the most lovely visual of you and Rafer Johnson in a logan green canoe, with baskets of carrots and stud muffins, and kits outfitted with an assortment of tools to explore the watery world from the safety of the dry boat.

Nearly as fast I had the alternative image of Jack and Redford in either a white water raft or a speedboat set on high, churning the waters and making waves.

Gale said...

All I can think of as I read this, Sheaffer, is that you should be careful not to criticize Molly and the woman too harshly or else you might find yourself going on future mountain hikes as the pack animal!!! I know you like getting out and about, but that is not how I envision a donkey of your caliber traveling.

Buddy, face it, Molly is fickle and you deserve better. 'Tis better to have loved and lost.....blah, blah, blah. The right mare for you is out there somewhere. I once knew a human version of Molly who went by the name of Heaven Lee....need I say more?

ponymaid said...

Smokey! You poor soul - you had to camp out with Molly? I always suspected her of being part Yak or one of those ATVs so I'm not surprised she did well in a hilly environment. She does breathe rather heavily, doesn't she? Maybe she suffers from adenoids. I hear you and Tucker had some wonderful wrestling matches over the fence with consequent blood letting. Your scar collection must be most impressive by now. Please come for a visit soon.

Billie, I would be perfectly at home in a dark green canoe with Rafer and the proper acoutrements for donkey gentlemen paddlers. Somehow I also picture TJ at the controls of that speedboat with Redford in it. I must now banish that mental image or suffer nightmares.

Gale, Molly is nothing if not fickle. She is going on that annual ride to battle cancer next week (weather permitting) and will no doubt come home and announce more additions to her "boyfriend" collection. Heaven Lee sounds rather exotic - did she work entertaining the public in some capacity?