Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Great Indoors

She has finally seen the light. I stayed in all day, with access to everywhere but the tack room (pity, it's the most interesting room). It was wonderful. I rolled in the shavings in both Doc's and Molly's stalls and used TJ's stall as a bathroom. HehHeh. It is still ungodly cold outside and the others come in with frost on their coats and eyelashes. With her huge blonde coat and massively hairy legs, Molly looks like one of the Valkyries in a Wagner opera. Stick horns on her head and she could clomp on stage at a moment's notice.

The woman replenished our feed supply today and at this time of year, it's quite a production getting it from the truck to the barn. The driveway from the house to the barn is unplowed, so she wrestles the bags onto a toboggan and drags it through the snow. We know very well what she's transporting and offer to help her as soon as she gets to the gate. She always says the same thing "Back off you bunch of hypocrites." Most ungracious.

Today, she was halfway from the gate to the barn when she suddenly began blowing and snorting like an old plow horse, bent so far over she was nearly parallel to the ground. When she paused and turned around, she discovered Molly had one hoof firmly planted on the back of the toboggan and had ripped open the corner of a bag. Such language! I added a few new words to my vocabulary. She continued, the bag leaking a trail of horse feed and all of us frantically cleaning it up. We're very environmentally aware and dislike any kind of littering.

This morning she brought a mug of tea out to the barn. Given that she knew I was inside, I thought it very rude that I didn't get my own mug. She had to go back to the house and hid the mug around a corner so I couldn't see it. Silly woman. I could see the steam rising into the air. I had been sampling some powder she puts on the stall floors to cut ammonia odour and thought I would see how it tasted with tea. The answer is: delicious. I drank the tea very carefully, alternating with mouthfuls of powder. It formed a sort of paste and I was just mouthing the last of it when she returned. "Oooooonoooo!" she said "Sheaffer, that's going to turn to cement in your stomach!" Gave me a bit of a turn, but she was wrong; I feel just fine, with only a slight heaviness in the mid-section. Next time maybe she'll be more thoughtful and I'll get my own mug of tea.

10 comments:

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - TEA? Was it hay tea or alfalfa tea? I can't believe you drank tea - sounds kinda sissylike to me - but - I have never had tea - maybe its manly tea!

ponymaid said...

Buddy, I'm putting you on my list of people to visit, especially in the winter months. I can't believe there is somewhere with sun and sand, where an equine can stand comfortably in the middle of a paddock without having his ears freeze-dried right on his head.

Yes, we Canadians are huge comsumers of hot tea - not the kind with ice cubes (brrr). It has to be made in a pot that has been heated first with hot water, that water is emptied and then in goes the tea and more hot water and then it's left to get nice and strong. We drink gallons of it in the winter. I think it's the only thing that makes the woman brave enough to leave the house. Mind you alfalfa tea sounds quite intriguing...

robert5721 said...

Shaeffer....you need your OWN mug for that delicious stuff....need to go look around for an appropriate one for you..molly must have been talking to dicey about the toboggan attack....their favorite activity for sure. I LOVE the Valkyire analogy.
keep warm and watch for the steam!!
Mr Gale

Buddy said...

Hay Sheaffer - you are welcome to visit anytime. Today it was in the 70's - tonight will be in the 20's - thats how it is before spring - but last week the high was 40 so its the weird time of year. RIght now the wind is blowing like a hurricane - mom lost her patio chairs - probably halfway to your barn by now - its not great at the moment - the air is filled with sand - should have my fly mask on - but it was too windy when mom came to put me in my stall - I was in the turnout all day - she got me in my stall just in time for the big winds - got some carrots and she left - hair flying in her face - it was pretty funny.

Stay warm!

montanasmama said...

Sheaffer, you weren't pulling the toboggen for the women because????

ponymaid said...

Good grief! Me? Pull a toboggan?? Much too undinified - but I WOULD like to try standing on it and being pulled - that looks quite exciting. No downhill, though.

Mr. Gale, she has promised to share her tea with me from now on. No one else, just me. She brews it so strong that a pebble could float on the top - TJ doesn't need that kind of caffeine stimulation...

Buddy, did you say SEVENTY degrees? In February? And lots of dust? You must live in heaven.

Gale said...

Sheaffer, I am speechless with laughter and I think this entry deserves an award.

You’re right about the litter problem. We have a few cows that eat their dinner in the donkeys’ favorite pen. Cows have lousy table manners and often spill some of their grain. Of course, the donkeys realize this and cannot wait to come in and vacuum up leftovers after the barbarian cows have been moooooved out of the pen. Yesterday two young calves came into the pen and spent a few minutes trying to kiss the donkeys through the gate. I wish I had gotten photos to share with you. The donkeys believe that cows are a complete waste of pasture.

Your experience with your woman’s mug of tea reminded me of our donkey Rambo’s adventure with Mr. Gale’s coffee mug. Perhaps Mr. Gale will share that story with you. But if you ever hope to get your own mug, don’t do what Rambo did! I’m still laughing over it.

ponymaid said...

Gale, you have me intrigued - please force Mr. Gale to share his Rambo/ coffee mug story. It sounds like just the tale for a cold winter's night.

TJ is still very traumatized by his spark-on-nose incident. Won't let the woman touch his head and has generally regressed to a level of high suspicion and jumpiness. We've all tried to reassure him, but he simply refuses to believe she is well-intentioned. His nervous system around people is much like that of my late long-eared brown friend.

I agree fully with your donkeys; cows are boorish barbarians with no table manners.

robert5721 said...

Shaeffer....AH, the Rambo coffee mug caper!! Rambo was sauntering about in the yard while we were out working in the barn, and he knocked my most favorite coffee mug off of the yard table trying to get a sip of what was in it....he must not have thought much of the taste, because he turned 180 degrees EXACTLY, and dropped a load of Rambo Pudding right on the handle of the mug....I swear to god, he must have a Nordon Bombsight attached to his rear end, cause it was dead center on the handle of the mug. Many trestd later we have made friends again, but I will NEVER forget his transgression.
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

That was supposed to be "Many TREATS later...." Oh well....