Wednesday, April 9, 2008


When we moved here several years ago one of the first things I did was to go down to the end of the paddock and inspect the house and buildings across the road. There are many buildings containing lots of machinery and mountains of potatoes. The house is a pleasant abode of some century and a half , with gardens and shrubs and the usual surroundings of a human dwelling. And then I noticed a miniscule fluttering of a curtain in a window. There was a glint of light flashing off a glass surface and then the curtain stopped moving.

This puzzled me for a long while and I spent days staring at that window in a fixed manner. Then one day a face revealed itself. It was very pale and the top was surmounted by what appeared to be bluish cotton wool. The eyes were another shade of blue, very bright, and the glint I had seen was from her enormous spectacles, which made her eyes seem even larger. It was my first full glimpse of Granny. We spent the following years perfecting our staring game. In fact, the humans would look out the window of their houses on either side of the road and say "Oh no, Granny and Sheaffer are staring again!" We were unstoppable.

Until this past January, when Granny was taken away to something called a "Home". She simply disappeared out of my life. It seems she had grown too frail to comfortably stay across the road and so she had moved. The curtains don't flutter anymore even though I check every day just to be sure.

Today I received wonderful news. I have been invited to the "Home" to have tea with Granny and her friends! I can't wait. I know I will bond immediately with this herd of elderly blue-haired humans. They're quiet, don't make sudden movements and are happy to simply sit and stare for long periods of time. I have found my soulmates.

As soon as the Grannies can be assembled on the lawn of the "Home", I will be transported there in my metal box on wheels (with a shovel and broom in case things get too exciting). Finally, I'm getting out into the world and meeting the right sort of people. I'm told they often don't eat all their lunch and I will be happy to help the dining room staff deal with the excess, although I've already received a stern lecture about begging. I never BEG, I simply ask for the tiniest morsels when my blood sugar falls - strictly medical. Anyway, I will make detailed observations and report back on my mission.


robert5721 said...

I will send you one of my MEDIC ALERT neac chains with a cadeusus on one side and the word "DIABETIC" on the other. I find that when i flash that sucker, people start shoving food into my really works great....say HI to granny for me, I bet she is a BLAST to talk to....have fun!!
Mr Gale

the7msn said...

Oh, Sheaffer! We SO want to be service burros and go to nursing homes and anywhere else they might let us visit to love on the grannies and grampas. We're still a little ways from being trained enough to do so but it is our goal. Can't wait to hear all about your visit!

billie said...

What a wonderful idea. I hope the visit goes very well!

Gale said...

Wonderful news that you and Granny will be reunited and can actually meet in donkey! She and her house-mates will be thrilled about this, I guarantee it, and I hope all goes well with the first visit.

As for assisting with the lunch cleanup, I'm sure if you do the slight head tilt routine, you'll get all the leftovers you desire. Who could resist that?

Soft pats and lots of quiet will have a lovely time and so will the grannies!

(Don't forget that senior citizens vote too!)

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, a magic chain that causes food to be immediately produced?? I can't believe I've been on this planet for nearly thirteen years and haven't heard of this new method of foraging.

I will be going to visit Granny when the weather is a bit warmer and they can assemble the herd on the lawn. Obviously they don't trust me inside yet, but that will change once I've displayed my grasp of formal behaviour. I can't wait.

maryhadagoat said...

hello. i have just got off the phone with my sisters beloved mother who by the way happens to be my 89 year old mother. and she said to go on this website for a look at the donkey as she has donkeys and would like another one to join the "cepy" as she likes to call it. if we get the donkey we promise to look after it and feed it apples and carrots and sweets (donkeys off course) oh and my sisters beloved father owns half a polomint ones for lidls. we live in four continents in every yrear we are now in holland ,europe which is a very flat land for donkeys to walk. thank you for your time. the donkey will feel happy. thank yuou