Thursday, April 3, 2008

Spring Fever

First of all, thank you to the lurkers who have declared themselves readers of my scribblings and thank you to old friends for your comments and helpful hints on mule control. I surmise the counter device we installed at the top of the blog is controlled by an elf-like creature who pulls a lever every time someone checks my blog. I've thought long and hard about it and can see no other way this constant tally could be kept. Yes, definitely elves. As payment for their trouble, they put small messages under the counter. The messages are a mystery to me - the first one says "Father and Daughter Wedding Songs" or something like that. There is only one piece of music suitable for weddings and that is Handel's Wedding March. There might be some sedate footwork to the strains of a chamber orchestra afterwards but nothing as unseemly as the singing of popular songs. Oh well, humour them we must, or the elf will stop counting.

Today was a rarity - the weather was perfect. This has caused TJ to become completely unhinged. He began racing around the paddock today, making "rrrrrooooooommmm" sounds and running till he was soaking wet. He only stopped when he couldn't get air into his lungs and stood there gasping and panting like an old lawn tractor. The woman goes slightly mad as well, and throws open all the doors and windows in the barn and begins sweeping and scrubbing and dusting like someone possessed. She opened the doors at both ends of the barn, the west end doors also being the back of TJ's temporary room. The other long side of his room is two boards which she undoes on one side to let him out, leaving the other ends in their holders.

TJ was on one of his galloping tours when he spotted the open doors. He tore into the barn and didn't see the woman as she was in my room cleaning. There were two bags of opened bedding in the aisle, with the scissors lying on top. TJ grabbed the handles of the scissors and ran off. Well! We heard "Eeeeeeeeee, noooooooo, TJ" and she emerged hot on his heels. "TeeeeeeJay, Teeeeee,Jay", she panted, "Stop him, he's running with scissors!" As if one of us were going to try to stop a lunatic running at us with the pointy end of a cutting device.

We other three equines joined in the chase, followed closely by the dog who was barking her fool head off. We did a few circuits of the paddock and TJ finally dropped his prize. The woman rummaged around short-sightedly in the mud and had a terrible time finding them. Meanwhile, we tore through the barn, snorting and bucking, tails held up like broomsticks - well, not my tail, but the others. We found the boards at the front of TJ's room an excellent excuse for some cross-country jumping.

The woman was still out there scissor-hunting and we had free run of the barn. And that's how we all got in trouble. Doc stomped into the tack room and tore apart the bag of peppermint snacks. He was so overwrought at his find that he accidently releived himself right on the spot!
Molly was annoyed that he wouldn't let her in with him, so she systematically oveturned all the freshly cleaned and filled water buckets standing in the aisle. TJ crept in under Doc's tail and pulled down a basket with many items from the shelf - none were food, but some did get trampled. I was a (mostly) innocent bystander.

The woman returned, very red and sweaty from her laps around the barn. 'GET OUT", she bellowed, "YOU SNEAKY, UNGRATEFUL, #^%#*&^%$#!" I've checked and most of the words aren't in the dictionary. Doc gets panicky when he's found out in a crime and he trashed a few more things in his hurry to back out of the tack room. "And YOU", she said, glaring at me, "Don't give me that hurt look, your breath reeks of mints." I beat a hasty retreat.

No insomnia for me tonight, all that excitement and exercise has left me exhausted.


robert5721 said...

Shaeffer, might I ask, if you were innocent (mostly) in the mayhem in the tack room, why did your breath smell like peppermints so strongly? You. sir, are a true politician....can you define your definition of the term "mostly"? I am glad that all of you got the chance to enjoy the great day, and what the heck, no one got hurt or anything..
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

I am also glad that you never inhaled......did you????
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, truly, I am innocent (mostly). It just seemed wrong to leave peppermints littered around the aisle where someone could trip over them. I was being environmentally aware.

Regarding the inhaling - well, just the slightest inward breath, maybe. So relaxing and clears the head wonderfully. Strictly medicinal use, you understand.

montanasmama said...

Just wanted you to know I check your blog everyday! Still working on my new house so haven't had much time to post but I haven't forgotten about teaching you to play feed-pan Frisbee! Sounds like you all had a wild and wonderful play time, hope you got your fair share of those peppermints. Love from all the ears in wild wonderful west Virginia.