Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Home Alone

We won't exactly be alone, but the woman is travelling with a herd of other horse women to some gigantic equi-fest in Ohio. They will be gone till Sunday evening and I certainly hope they return with adequate presents for us because we're not at all pleased with the inconvenience.

A pleasant woman called Marianne will be seeing to our chambermaid duties on Thursday and Friday. She came over yesterday so the woman could give her specifics as to how we like things done. For example, we like our beds deep and slightly banked and a goodnight mint in our feeder. The woman says they always do this in better hotels. Then she said "Don't let them blackmail you, and don't leave the wheelbarrow unattended because they'll tip it. Oh, and they're not allowed to play with the hose. And don't leave your jacket where they can get at it. Basically, they're not at all to be trusted." What slander! We are always kind and courteous and offer no end of help.

The male human will see to our needs on the weekend and that is a whole other story. He's famously absentminded and leaves doors open and objects lying around. He is also notoriously soft-hearted (unlike some I could mention) and gives us anything we demand. We're very much looking forward to his tenure and hope to have many stories of the fun activities we share with him. The woman says what I mean is perpetrate, not share, but she's always so negative.

I've dictated another blog entry to "Her Bossiness" and the male human is instructed to post it on Friday or Saturday, unless he forgets. I have a good mind to fire the woman and find someone more reliable to do my typing. A trained monkey, perhaps. Hehhehheh.


topcterv said...

Sheaffer, i can only imagine the fun you will have!!! and i must say it is very thoughtful of you to have dictated an entry for while the woman is away... there are those of us who await your entries with glee and would hate to go so long without just because the woman had the nerve to plan a trip... and by the way... were you invited along????

robert5721 said...

Sheaffer, How about peanuts and coffee on the monitor and all over the adjacent wall....your suggested method works well on the coffee stains, but i am not too sure about coffee and peanut butter crackers and other stuff....these stories are just too funny for human consumption!! Enjoy your time with the male human, and maybe he will take over looking after you guys full time. Please send us stories of how it goes over the weekend!!
Mr Gale

billie said...

I can only imagine the shenanigans that will occur this weekend!

Will look forward to the full report. :)

Finn the Wonder Pony said...

Sheaffer, Not to worry about the presents... My human goes away to that same show when it comes here and there are always innumerable goodies upon her return. You just need to train yours up a little better.. She obviously doesn't give you the respect you deserve. Maybe you do need to fire her and get someone who understands donkey/employee relations. I hope your days with Maid Marianne were fun; that your help was happily received and rewarded. It sounds like the male human does like to let you help... see if he can talk any sense into her. If you need to, I'm sure that among us (your followers), we can find you a suitable typist with the proper attitude.

Gale said...

I can't wait to hear how the four- day vacation went! I'm sure Marianne is completely taken with you -- the critical question will be "Marianne, would you do this again?"

As for the male human, perhaps you can remind him to pick up tools and things before the woman gets would be the considerate thing to do, especially if he is as soft-hearted as you say.

I do hope your woman brings you and your friends many souvenirs from her trip. I have my fingers crossed that she's been able to nab lots of treat samples (those equi-fests are famous for that).

How were the "goodnight" mints?