Saturday, July 19, 2008

Another Day On The Hobs Of Hell

That's what everyone is calling the weather these days but we donkeys think it's quite comfortable. Doc and Molly go around looking like over-steamed clams, the dog lies in the shade panting and even the cat sprawls under a shrub. A collection of humans formed on the lawn today and sat there eating and saying things like "Could it GET any hotter", and, "It's not the heat it's the HUMIDITY". They grazed on all kinds of delicacies while we looked on longingly from the other side of the fence. They did not share.

When they had annihilated all the foodstuffs, they came to see Jack and self and announced we were all going for a walk. Their goal was to help the visitors dig up some potatoes to take home, thus making a complete mess of my careful inventory. I watched closely and think they took about twenty but of course I can't be sure. Now my totals will be skewed. We did get to see the irrigation pipes they have put in the fields and we climbed over them bravely, until I knocked one with a hoof and nearly scared myself to death with the metalic clang that issued forth. I don't appreciate being called a "drama queen" in front of company.

Brenda, one of the humans I have known all my life, held my shank and plucked delicacies from the sides of the path for me to sample. I especially like black raspberries and new grass shoots. The woman walked behind, making rude remarks about my back being broad enough to serve as a dining surface for a family of ten. They plied Jack with treats as well though he has to eat in small quantities or the food gets stuck in his throat.

This is a good time to mention a deplorable habit the dog indulges in and which infuriates all four equines. We have a big water trough in front of the barn and the dog has decided it's her own personal plunge pool. She tears down the trail ahead of the others, belts through the run-in and leaps into our freshly filled water trough. Then she runs in circles, biting the water, finishing up by lying down with just her nose showing. Then she explodes out, leaving all sorts of hair and debris floating in there. It's uncivilized, revloting and highly unsanitary. The woman is not impressed but the male human thinks it's absolutely hilarious and always asks the dog if she feels refreshed. I plan on calling the health department.


RussianRoulette said...

Sheaffer it sounds like you had a fabulous walk! I can certainly sympathize with being concerned about the banging of the pipes. Who knows what could actually be going on in there! Perhaps when you accidentally tapped the pipe with a hoof you aroused some sort of pipe dwelling beast! It's better to be safe than sorry and jumping away from said beast could save your hide and everyone else in the party. They should be thanking you for your awareness!

It's a shame about the dog enjoying your water trough as her own personal cooling pool. Perhaps the woman can get her a "kiddie pool" to discourage her use of your drinking area. Good luck in the convincing!

robert5721 said...

IDEA....wait till they go to the lawn and have another picnic food fest, and you and Jack just hop the fence and wander on over, and promptly roll over their dinner table on the ground....leaving much dust and donkey hair about and all over the delicacies....nah, maybe in a week or so after the woman has been on her Prozac a bit longer. Then maybe she will see the logic of how it feels to have some critter pee in your pool so to speak. HOW RUDE !!
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

russianroulette, you understand my concern about pipe dwellers - there could be anything in there, including trolls. The humans here just don't understand how safety conscious I am. They'd feel silly if a troll ripped off a limb and ran off with it.

The humans got the dog her own pool and she wouldn't even look at it. She looked up and sideways and at her feet but would not set eyes on the pool in front of her. First chance she got she rushed over and leapt into our trough to make her point. Just despicable.

Mr. Gale, I like your idea - next time they have lemonade on the lawn I will squeeze through the fence and make a point of rolling in the pitcher. Then we'll see what they think.

billie said...

As usual, the photos are excellent. I agree with you and your readers - a dog in your water is a very serious matter! I was told that donkeys prefer their water to be pristine and pure, and this sounds like a nightmare!

Perhaps the woman needs to switch you and Jack over to bottled water from a spring in France, or the Alps and just let the dog have that trough since she will not stay out of it.

Rafer Johnson celebrated his one year birthday on Saturday, and as I was out of town, we are celebrating this week - were you closer, you and Jack would be at the top of our guest list!