Thursday, July 3, 2008

Human-Donkey Miscommunication

I would just like to go on record as saying that if a person leaves a round object with a projecting flat surface around it's edge hanging in the barn, and if said object is made of a straw-like material, and a donkey or donkeys should happen upon said object, certain misunderstandings are inevitable. How were we to know it was her hat? We don't wear circular, pot-shaped objects with a shelf all the way around the edge on our head. She says it's ruined, but it actually matches her rather disheveled appearance better with pieces missing. All that fuss and it was really rather bland.

Our delivery of hay for the next year has not yet taken place owing to a rainy spring. The woman borrowed two bales from the tall woman but after tonight that will be gone. I'm very concerned - what if the woman just can't be bothered trying to find us interim food? I've always worried that this day would come. I can't share my worries with Jack, he's spent too much time already worrying about where his next meal will come from. I have a nagging fear that we will be reduced to living off the woman's collection of old straw hats.

On the advice of a friend who knows these things, the woman set about checking Jack's gums for their "capilliary refill". Given Jack's advanced age, she wants to keep a close eye on all systems. She finally backed him into a corner and, prying back his top lip, proceeded to press her thumb very firmly on his upper gum. He was highly affronted and as retribution for this personal assault, he pressed his hoof down firmly on her foot, thus checking her refill time. His refill time was much better. "Landsakes", he said "can't a body doze off for a second without crazy people taking liberties with their chewin department." He's a very wise donkey indeed to have figured things out so quickly.


robert5721 said...

How wise of Mr Jack to check the woman's refill time....YOU MUST MAKE SURE SHE IS IN GOOD CONDITION to pay for the dinner hay well into the future....Donkeys must keep a watch on this type of thing youknow. I am sure that she has some nice hay coming for youall..she is trying the shock and awe method of trying to get you to behave, and you must show her that this will NOT work AT ALL....start in on the barn brooms and tool handles and such, and she WILL relent I am sure, although the hat WAS a good lead in to this new campaign. Let me know how Mr Jack does with the spud counting, and I must know your final tally of them.
Many Thanks,
Mr Gale

robert5721 said...

there is always that green, luscious area with the stinger wire around case things get too tight, you and Mr Jack can find a way to push the woman into the wire so she grounds it out and you can both enter without any damage at all..maybe THAT will speed the hay delivery up some..he he he ....fresh veggies are good for donkeys, or so Dicey tells me..
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

Mr. Gale, her selfish self finally got us a big wagon load of hay today. Thank goodness, I must have lost ten pounds overnight worrying about it. She ungraciously let us in the lush area this morning, though she chased us back out after only two hours. I pray constantly for a re-enactment of the time she brushed her posterior against the hot wire - as TJ said at the time "she busted some funky moves alright".

I am extremely excited about the porspect of an early potato harvest, though Jack seems less committed to my counting project.

Buddy said...

Who is your palamino friend??? Is he related to me I wonder??

ponymaid said...

buddy, that short, square figure is Molly the Halflinger. She is the token girl in our barn and as such has taken on the role of resident princess. She is the colour of old gold at this time of year but has no dapples. How about yourself - tell me more so I can pass it on to Molly, who seems to think she is the only gold horse on the planet.

completecare said...

Hi Sheaffer,
I am glad to hear that your hay arrived in time to prevent starvation. It was very kind of you not to let on to Jack that the food supplies were getting low. At his age he doesn't need extra things to worry about. The last of our 1200 bales will be delivered tonight so my mom and I will be set for the winter - of course, we have to share with the horses. The worst part is we have to finish up last year's hay before we can start on the new stuff. The horses are out on pastures 24/7 and my mom and I are only allowed out for a few hours and that is with our grazing muzzles on!!!!! Then we are confined to barricks and served minimal hay for the next 18 hours. Sometimes life just isn't fair.
Jack should be thankful your women only does capillary refill checks. Our human has a compulsion for filling in health charts so few weeks we are subjected to a full compliment of tests so all our health info can be documented!!! The greatest indignity is having our temperature taken. If Jack doesn't like his chewin parts interferred with he certainly will not be happy when the thermometer is inserted in his other end. What we have to put up with just to keep our humans happy.
Enjoy the sunshine.
Your Fan,

billie said...

I love the new photos - and must say that in the starvation one, I have looked closely for RIBS but thus far can find none! :)

You were very kind to protect Jack from the terrifying information about the depletion of the hay reserve. I do suspect the woman will never let you run out though.

The man with the fireworks set them off last night but was continually thwarted with pouring rain - I hope he used them all up and doesn't bring them out again tonight!

ponymaid said...

willy, 1200 bales? Sounds like a good start but what will the horses eat? Jack and I are severely restricted from the greener grass on the other side of the fence - I find humans extremely overbearing sometimes...I have knowledge of that infernal thermometer thing and have practiced keeping my tail firmly clamped down at all times. Unfortunately, when they're determined, next thing you know they're reading out numbers and writing them on a chart.

billie, good news on the fireworks, unless he's saving them for a non-rainy day. I've heard tell of ribs but am not sure if I have them on my person. Jack had the traces of some but they have mysteriously disappeared.

Buddy said...

Hay Kid - well I'm 12 and a QH - I am golden also but dappled - its seems each year my dappling is getting darker. My mane and tail are still a bleached blonde - must be the surfer horse in me.

Tell Molly I think I could be in love and would like to see more pictures - maybe one of her face??

robert5721 said...

Buddy, you MIGHT want to take a look at a pic of the Docinator FIRST..
Mr Gale

Buddy said...

Gee Mr Gale I didn't know Molly was already spoken for. I went back and looked at all the pics and she sure turns golden in the summer - darker in the winter.

What is a halfinger anyway???

ponymaid said...

buddy, Molly is delirious with joy - she feels you two will make a lovely couple and will blind the rest of the world with your double gold standard. She has not mentioned you to Doc just yet so I suggest you take the bus here and tell him yourself. I promise to stand by and take in the entire event. You are welcome to share my room and I will show you where the woman keeps her straw hats, in case you feel like a light, fibre-filled snack after your long journey.

Buddy said...

The BUS? How do I get on a bus - I won't even fit through the door. Perhaps you could tell Doc about me and get his reaction before I make the journey.

Tell Molly I send my love!

robert5721 said...

I think a Halflinger is a half of a full flinger, if that makes any sense, posta be a full figured powerful critter for pulling carts and such, although I think Molly is allergic to carts, so....I KNOW Dicey is extremely allergic to them....
Good luck pal....
Mr Gale

ponymaid said...

buddy, could you hop a freight, or catch a ride with a transport truck (one with a full cargo of carrots)?

Molly is of a breed from the Austrian Alps and they are used for many purposes there. She is stout of leg and broad of bottom and has been referred to as an equine ATV. We have been assured that she could carry a two hundred pound man and a dead elk down a mountainside without breaking a sweat. And yet she looks in the mirror and see a sylph-like, delicate figure...Doc seems to think she is quite beautiful, but then again, she's the only girl in the barn.

Buddy said...

WOW - the more I hear about Molly the more in love I am.

Are all halfingers the same color? Mom did a search and said they all looked the same golden color.

I am broad in the bottom compared to a TB - but my legs aren't that short - I'm 16 hand so I'm kinda tall. I hope she like tall horsies.

OzArab said...

There's something really special about the day that hay is delivered. YUM! Only the last time we had a big truck of hay delivered the boss said that it wasn't for me it was for the *sheep* ?! How come THEY get the clover?? humph!
Last year I was on a special diet (thankfully I didn't have to wear a muzzle) similar to what you are enduring. It was awful. Apparently the grass had too much sugar? Tasted good though.... ;) Every day she gave me lots of hay but she had made it wet first. Very odd but I didn't want to complain too much. The boss then found a website called and it said I wasn't allowed to have the same grass as the sheep! So I have a different paddock now ... and no muzzle! yay!
love Merry.
PS. How many potatoes have you seen yet?

ponymaid said...

buddy, Molly is hyperventilating with excitement - she is only 13.2 herself but loves tall men. I think some Halflingers may be brownish but the majority are her colour. Molly is very proud of her mane and is growing it out. We donkeys thing long manes are excessive and frankly a bit too flashy.

Merry, you echo my sentiments exactly. This is the best smelling time of year- our whole barn smells like a meadow. I have never met a sheep but am shocked that they receive preferential treatment. Do they at least have to wear sheep muzzles? This smacks of species-ism to me if you are muzzled and kept away from their superior food supply. Complain bitterly and often.